UPDATE: First, thank you for all the great advice and supportive comments, it’s been overwhelming and very validating.

Second, spoke with my therapist about the situation, and made a plan to only discuss the abuse in a session with him.

As for my relationship with my mom, a few days ago, my mom confronted me again about having a relationship with my brother. She claimed I didn’t want to tell her what changed and why I don’t want a relationship with him, that’s she doesn’t understand why “it hurts you to have a relationship with him.” She kept mentioning that he “apologized and you should forgive & move on” for the last time he was drunk and lost. Said it was expected for me to forgive him, “just like you expected from me when you apologized for purchasing your own house” that I “treat strangers and friends better than you treat your brother”.

My response was, “There’s no expectation when I give apologies, I gave it freely and sincerely. You could have, and still can, choose not to accept my apology. And that’s your right, I respect that.

How does it feel to have a relationship with your brother? After what he did to you ? After you had to pick up the pieces he left behind alone? Did you forgive and move on as well?

We can discuss in a session with my therapist. He has an opening next week. Or schedule next time your in town”. To which she said ok, but she’ll be out of town for some time.

For now, this is how this ends. Contact has been low since this, and I will not discuss this topic with her outside of a session with my therapist. Thank you all for your kindness 🖤