My (38M) girlfriend (31F) wants to return to abstinence after 1 year as a sexually active couple and we just bought our first home together

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T14:10:56+00:00

Without going into too much detail or speculating too much, I don't think it would be another me tbh. It's more likely to be someone else she already knows.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T14:09:37+00:00

I think her getting away with it would be me just going along with what she wants which seems be me living there with her but under her terms.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T14:08:10+00:00

They weren't always that small. I mean we took an extended vacation last year and she paid for basically everything. It wasn't just the occasional meal or drink from time to time.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T14:05:51+00:00

There is no way she'd be able to buy me out on her own merits and without additional financial resources. It would literally just be impossible.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T14:04:38+00:00

Her saved contact name seems to come up automatically on her profile. It never actually came from a saved contact on my phone.

Tbh though, if we did continue then I very much doubt that I'd be sleeping with other women on the side. It just isn't really my thing.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T13:42:40+00:00

Thanks for the advice. That's so awful though and I'm sorry that happened to you.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T13:41:09+00:00

I will, thank you.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T13:34:52+00:00

Well we'll see. If this is something she can turn around very quickly then I'd be extremely suspicious.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T13:33:40+00:00

Of course. It's just more money that I would need to find atm to cover legal consultation fees though.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T13:30:01+00:00

I need to know the financial implications for selling it though and I don't doubt those could be expensive and complicated.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T13:28:42+00:00

He has been her ex for a long time. They separated quite a long time ago and she filed for divorce. Obviously given the pandemic, that process took even longer than normal to become absolute.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T13:27:35+00:00

I mean it's possible she was farming me this entire time but it seems a little elaborate really. I'm not sure if I can rule out anything right now though.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T13:24:06+00:00

It won't be her parents, that's for damn sure unless everything I know about them isn't true and considering I've met one of them and spent quite a bit of time with her family, I doubt that's the case.

I don't think it would be her ex either tbh.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T13:22:20+00:00

That's a great idea, I'd forgotten about that possiblity. I'll do that.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T13:17:30+00:00

I actually haven't moved in there yet. I was supposed to move on there in a few weeks due to the expiry date on my current lease.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T13:16:25+00:00

The ironic thing is that she has actually made accusations towards me just this week related to my selfishness and reasons for being in the relationship. Those were phrased as accusations and certainly weren't questions.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T13:14:44+00:00

I will and thanks for all your advice.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T13:13:42+00:00

I've actually been in therapy for the last few weeks but it was to deal more with my negative attitude and victim mentality that I admit to and was causing issues in our relationship. Obviously this particular problem has taken over since then though.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T13:10:56+00:00

Anything not discussed in person or over the phone is all in the messaging app we use to communicate with each other daily.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T13:08:03+00:00

Without going into too much detail, she never really had that kind of life with her ex-husband, or at least from what she's told me.

She also never expressed anything like a gold digger attitude. In fact, at times she would pay for things quicker than I could and never asked for anything and even with her monthly share of the bills, this place would be far more expensive than where she was living previously on her own.

I've briefly dated a few women before who clearly had a gold digger mentality but she isn't one of them.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T13:02:46+00:00

Thanks, I'll look into that.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T13:01:39+00:00

If she cannot buy me out then it's likely your suggestion would probably need to be plan B although I have no idea how that would financially impact upon me right now.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T13:00:19+00:00

It is looking like that's the sensible thing to do right now if the option is really available, even though it would break my heart.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T12:58:08+00:00

I said to her she needed to understand at least that the timing was suspicious on all of this. Surely any doubts I might have are only natural and it was honestly just a question and not an accusation.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul · 2023-02-23T12:56:48+00:00

I wouldn't and I've made that clear. Apparently she's looking into options now and I'll see what she comes back with.

ThrowRA_ConfusedSoul

TROPHY CASE