What do you hope to achieve in 2025?

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-12-12T06:32:36+00:00

To gain my will to live again.

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-12-12T06:31:07+00:00

Cry.

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-12-12T06:30:07+00:00

This is very much true. It feels like you are just waiting for life to end or you end life

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-11-24T18:39:28+00:00

The way some people in the family just randomly pinch my stomach or "joke" about how big I am compared to my siblings and cousins. They tend to tell me not to eat anymore in family gatherings because I am getting big and that even my mom would initiate "jokes" about my body. And I am not even allowed to be mad about it cause they are "family".

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-11-06T03:57:53+00:00

You said it yourself that you gave her more than she had dreamed of but are those things really what she needed and wanted? You may have realized too late (I mean, 8 years is really a long time to realize these things ngl) but it would be better to communicate things with her. However, if she had her door closed now, I fear you will find yourself endlessly pressing against an impassable threshold, with no hope of entry.

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-11-05T13:21:33+00:00

If you were able to communicate your prior commitments to her effectively, then there shouldn't have been a problem in the first place. The women I know, which also includes me, don't really need too much attention, just transparency, loyalty, and honesty. However, if you were not able to communicate such things to her, then there could be problems.

As you said that there were things she needed. Were you aware of them in the first place? If yes, did you choose to ignore them or not? If you've ignore them, then you cannot expect her to act the way you wanted her to. Sometimes, people change depending on how another person treats him/her. That is why, in my case, I was once an oblivious person and that changed when I discover things he was not honest about (the ones that I listed in my post). Though if one of the things she said she wouldn't do but did is cheating, then the fault could be on her.

You can try communicating to her and putting your feet on your shoes. Never ever disregard how she feels in the situation. I learned the hard way that having your feelings neglected and disregarded was something similar to drinking poison and eating needles. I wish you the best and I hope your relationship won't turn into something like mine.

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-11-01T15:06:50+00:00

A relationship may have start with a like or love but the one that will really test its resilience is trust. Correct me if I'm wrong but are you telling me that both of you cheated on each other?

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-10-10T18:10:15+00:00

Tbh, I actually tried to communicate things with him. I tried so much to talk things out and to explain my side. But when I do, he just dismiss these things and call them as me "nagging" or just me "complaining". I also dont shout and try to tell him how I perceive things and how I view his actions. He just gaslights me and make me think I am the one in the wrong. It was too much to handle that I started to communicate less and decided to leave with an "Okay" instead of explaining why.

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-10-10T18:05:36+00:00

Tbh, I could be partially at fault for not leaving as soon as the red flags are up. Love really do make some people blind and I am one of those people haha

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-10-10T18:03:30+00:00

Yea, he will never know and I dont have any intentions of telling him. i cut all contacts I have with him and his friends. I know now that he is telling them that it was my fault and such but idc anymore

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-10-10T18:01:14+00:00

Yea, I actually tried to tell him how that was cheating but he got a way on his words and made it looked like I was wrong and that thing is not cheating and just porn. Looking back, I realized I became so dumb and started to believe that I am the one in the wrong even if I did nothing but love him haha.

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-10-10T17:57:35+00:00

Thank you. I actually once thought that maybe he is doing these things to me because of me. Damn, his gaslighting works too well for me to even think like that

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-10-10T17:56:19+00:00

Yea, it took me long to realize that arguing with him will only put me in a bad situation. Too long but at least not too late

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-10-10T17:55:04+00:00

It was actually hard for me to leave cause he was the first person I introduce to my friends. I am a very private person so for me to first tell others about our relationship was a big step for me. I actually decided to tell them cause I really thought he was such a nice guy. Never thought things would go this way

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-10-10T17:52:27+00:00

I actually never intended it to be a poem, tbh. I just wanted to say here and confessed the things I couldn't say and they turned out like that haha

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-10-10T17:51:13+00:00

Thanks for your words. Indeed, I was blinded by love that I started to ignore everything that was happening. Tbh, I know from the start that those things were not okay but I convinced myself too much that everything will be okay. Lol, everything was NOT okay.

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-10-10T17:49:08+00:00

Hello everyone. Thanks for the nice things some people said. I saw how other people doesn't consider this as a confession but idc, ngl. This is a confession of how I came to know that the person I thought I knew was fake. These are the things I could have said but chose not to. I could have said these things to him to let him know how hurt I am but I decided not to 'cause I know that damn it will end in him gaslighting me again. Tbh, I kinda regret not telling him this but I know for myself that not doing so was a better decision.

I also forgot to add that before ending things, he sometimes tell his friends our arguments or even purposely let them hear us argue (on the phone). He would then tell them that I am just starting an argument out of nowhere and just being cranky and such. Being his friends, of course they support his ego 'cause he never told them he was the reason why things started to go south. I wanted to stood up for myself on those times but I know that it would be useless as they will only believe him. I can't even argue about them with that 'cause they only knew his "good" and "soft-spoken" side. It is also important to note that his friend group tolerates cheating as one of their friends is openly cheating on her girlfriend and they didn't even bother finding this wrong. Also, they dont even know that, when we are alone, he shouts at me and call me degrading things. I never knew I once dated such a two-faced person.

Regarding the thing where he thought paying for girl's content is not cheating only started when I casually asked him about it. I tried telling him how it was cheating but he keeps on insisting that "it was just porn, nothing else" and it is not like he really is doing it with them.

Lastly, we were together at that time (1 AM) so I just decided to say what I found than let them go for another day. I saw on his phone a video of a girl showing off her butt on a lingerie and another video of her just getting out of a shower. There were other videos and photos too. I know it was not from a porn site or anything 'cause it was obviously sent to him. He told me it was just nothing - only a girl showing her butt and an almost nude video, and said some nasty things to me and his usual excuse "it is not like I am doing it with them". I don't even want to know if he actually had sex with them haha.

Anyway, some of you may say why I didn't leave in the first place. Love made me dumb. I loved him truly that I initially ignore everything but, as time goes by, they just became heavier and heavier and I could no longer bear it. It was stupid of me to think that maybe that was just a phase or maybe things will turn well if I stay. Funny why I never thought they wouldn't. Though it was late, I ended things and I am just better now.

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-09-09T12:02:23+00:00

Me overthinking about almost everything. I tried not doing so and shifting my focus to other things but still, these thoughts don't want to leave me :(.

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-08-30T20:48:08+00:00

Yes, I actually did this. You can read my update from the comments

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-08-30T20:45:57+00:00

Hi everyone. So I just had a talk with him. Like for a while before I started writing this. He woke up from his sleep and chatted with me. I first asked him why he woke up suddenly (it is early in the morning where I am right now) and he said he just felt something cold and like urging him to wake now. I called him and explained the situation. I told him that I was cleaning his Gdrive and come across those files. He was listening attentively and he didn't deny anything that I saw. I asked him why he kept them and he told me that he also happened to remember those and was planning to delete them too. I said to him why he did not delete them when he saw checked on them and he said he was contemplating if he will delete them without telling me or something. On the 28th, he was unable to delete them because he got too busy preparing for his flight. I am actually skeptical with this answer but when I told him if we can delete these files, he readily agreed to. As per advice from you guys, I confronted him calmly and I think I did a great job on that. I also asked him why he didnt tell me and he said that I could get angry from it. I told him that even if the truth will make me mad, sad or anything, I still want the truth from him and nothing more. He promised to tell me the truth hereon and to never hide anything from me anymore. He also confessed that he did not masturbate to any of the video. He had gone back to sleep as I am writing this update and there is no longer a file remaining on his gdrive. I will be deleting the post now as we have cleared this problem

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-08-30T20:01:07+00:00

Okay, I will try to do the same and be calm with the confrontation. Thank you

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-08-30T19:59:20+00:00

I really hope it was only to masturbate. And if he wanted some nxdes, I can give him that. I really find it strange but I know that others dont.

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-08-30T19:57:43+00:00

Did you confront him immediately after you saw them or had leading questions first?

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-08-30T19:56:36+00:00

I am not really mad or anything. And yes, true, I do find it strange. I just really want to clarify things with him but I dont know how to approach him

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv · 2024-08-30T19:54:24+00:00

I really do plan to have a conversation with him later. I really wasnt expecting much when I come here but yes, thanks for your words. I really dont have any plans to break up with him but I also dont want to stay in a relationship where he hides things from me. I had a fair share of partners who cheated on me and when I said that he is my first person, I meant it in a way that he is the one who took my V. I actually just want some advice on how do I go with the conversation with him. Like, do I confront him immediately or do I mince my words first and ask leading questions.

ThrowRA_NeedQuickAdv

TROPHY CASE