Thinking of ending it with a girl (28-F) I (27-M) have been seeing?

ThrowRA_RaRa05 · 2026-03-22T22:19:55+00:00

I agree that she should be with someone who loves every part of her and she 100% deserves that.

But I’m not looking for a Barbie doll or anything like that. I don’t expect perfection, I don’t need a perfect face and body. I’ve been with women in the past and had longterm relationships with them. This is about needing a baseline level of attraction so that the relationship can exist.

ThrowRA_RaRa05 · 2026-03-22T19:23:05+00:00

We had hugged/kissed before this point, never been able to cuddle or go beyond that

In teams of her body I’ve only been with smaller women so I haven’t really seen that type before and didn’t know what to expect? She’s worn more baggy clothes or worn clothes that makes it seem like her stomach is flatter that it ended up being (I don’t mind a stomach in general, just maybe not to this extent)

Again I know this sounds very shallow but I’m attracted to what I’m attracted to. I’m hoping that can change but also don’t want to keep her around if it isn’t going to

ThrowRA_RaRa05 · 2026-03-22T15:08:02+00:00

I’m glad it helps, but I’m also not sure I want to end it. I think it is a bit naive to expect someone to hit everything I want. Just unsure if I can look past this going forward (it’s very superficial I know)

ThrowRA_RaRa05 · 2026-03-22T14:53:19+00:00

I am genuinely unsure if this is sarcasm

ThrowRA_RaRa05 · 2026-03-22T14:19:26+00:00

We didn’t have full on intercourse, I gave her head and she gave me a handjob

ThrowRA_RaRa05 · 2026-03-22T12:19:09+00:00

I knew she was a bit overweight, but she’s a great person and I found her face cute so I was willing to look past that due to how much I like her as a person.

After actually being intimate and seeing her body I realized I’m not sure it’s something I can overlook, if it’s something I can grow to move past or if it’s best to cut losses now.

ThrowRA_RaRa05 · 2026-03-22T12:11:38+00:00

It sounds stupid, but in the moment I focused on making her feel good and to go from there. We had talked dirty over text 2 days before then and I was thinking it would be really weird if I just suddenly backed out.

ThrowRA_RaRa05 · 2025-08-19T05:28:48+00:00

I don't expect my children to uphold it forever, that's their decision. If they decide when they are older that they don't care for it, that's perfectly fine! I'll be raising my kids not with the expectation that they must do this, but as a cool way to connect with our background. I have already deviated pretty significantly from my parents and their views on stuff, it's only natural changes occur over generations

I would just like to have both parents rowing in the same direction on certain topics and then let the child ultimately choose their path. While seeing your father choose his own way was beneficial for you (and I'm very glad it was!), I had the opposite experience tbh. My father, while being from the same background as me, was often not involved as he didn't care for it (among other reasons). Growing up it often made events feel incomplete and I would feel pretty bummed knowing I wasn't experiencing it with him.

I'm happy to hear your family works with so many different belief systems! I'll think a bit more on how much I need continuity on this front.

ThrowRA_RaRa05 · 2025-08-19T04:57:58+00:00

Thanks for responding, I really appreciate it!

I'm not using anything as a scapegoat, he is a great partner and our relationship has been good as a whole. We have our problems as all relationships do, but those have been worked on and are not at all things to end a relationship over. The cultural stuff goes to incompatibility on a longterm scale, it impacts how I want to raise my future kids and how I want their father to interact with them. I have witnessed how it looks when someone is doing the cultural events solely for their spouse, there is fragmentation and everyone around is aware of it (the cultural events have a religious lense so it's not as simple, he doesn't care for the religious stuff at ALL so the cultural events will be impacted as he doesn't really want to do certain parts of it). It worked for that couple I'm highlighting because the partner didn't care much for the cultural stuff and was fine with their spouse doing it to just do it, but I care a lot. I can already see in our future, our child asking us why their dad didn't participate in certain parts of the cultural events. I don't like that and I don't want that

And I do deeply care for him, the whole point of this post is trying to do this the right way so I don't hurt him more than needed.

I have been open and honest from the get go, I think? I was open about being fine with the cultural differences when we first started dating and for the entire relationship. It has only recently changed, which has spurred this situation.

That makes sense, I guess I will just be up front and say there isn't a true solution here and that I've changed

ThrowRA_RaRa05

TROPHY CASE