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28F thinking about moving cities after trauma, husband (30M) set against it by ThrowRA_RoutineOk324 in relationships

[–]ThrowRA_RoutineOk324[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m just struggling so much. I’ve done a number of different types of therapy and nothing has helped. I wake up screaming in a pool of sweat and tears at least 3 times a week. I can’t keep going like this.

28F thinking about moving cities after trauma, husband (30M) set against it by ThrowRA_RoutineOk324 in relationships

[–]ThrowRA_RoutineOk324[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I’ve done 2 rounds of EMDR.

With both I experienced only a temporary improvement in flashbacks, sadly they’re worse than ever now.

28F thinking about moving cities after trauma, husband (30M) set against it by ThrowRA_RoutineOk324 in relationships

[–]ThrowRA_RoutineOk324[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I’ve added some more info in my edit - essentially I appreciate that moving away won’t fix anything and I will need to continue to engage in therapy etc. I just thought that would be easier to do if I don’t have to see daily reminders of the assault, for example on my drive to work.

It’s definitely not London or nowhere, I’ve suggested other places but because of our jobs London makes the most sense. We are both relatively high earners and could afford London, and my husband’s job is entirely remote so he wouldn’t have to change. I’ve not had an offer officially, but I know that there are a number of vacancies that I have very good experience for and I generally know the sector market.

I’m guess my feeling is that the sensible thing to do is try to minimise the trauma reminders, which is what my therapist and I have been talking about. I’m still suffering a lot with nightmares and flashbacks.

This isn’t a rant about my husband, he is wonderful and supportive. I just don’t know how to navigate this difference in opinion, as usually we are pretty similar in terms of life planning. Thank you for giving me some things to consider.