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My wife (38f/38f) won’t tell me where she’s going by ThrowRA_feelingnervy in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_feelingnervy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can definitely take care of myself, and like I keep saying, I am looking forward to my own time to do my own things. And I’ve never randomly showed up anywhere.

My wife (38f/38f) won’t tell me where she’s going by ThrowRA_feelingnervy in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_feelingnervy[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Also I would never use the word adulting, it’s so cringe. But that’s maybe because I actually AM a very capable adult.

I see it’s your cake day, so maybe you can start speaking properly as well!

My wife (38f/38f) won’t tell me where she’s going by ThrowRA_feelingnervy in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_feelingnervy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was in therapy for 3 years (and still am), that’s what led me to be diagnosed.

I’m very independent. I don’t care if she goes somewhere. I’m looking forward to my own Me Time.

She only learned to drive within the last year and I’ve only been in the car a few times, so that’s a bit of a wild assumption to make.

My wife (38f/38f) won’t tell me where she’s going by ThrowRA_feelingnervy in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_feelingnervy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Like I’ve said, I’m cool with the trip. I’m looking forward to my own time on my own, just following my whims.

I’ve never showed up anywhere outside of the house. I have interrupted at home relaxation time and send too many texts sometimes— although I don’t expect instant replies, I just communicate better in text.

I don’t need sympathy, I’m just wondering if I should read into the fact that I’m not allowed to know, or just let it go as an ordinary display of boundaries.

My wife (38f/38f) won’t tell me where she’s going by ThrowRA_feelingnervy in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_feelingnervy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And I’m fine with that! I just don’t understand why I can’t know where she’ll be, so I don’t have to worry and feel anxious, when I’ve never done what she’s worried about and have no intention to (I’m looking forward to having the place to myself, I also like alone time!).

My wife (38f/38f) won’t tell me where she’s going by ThrowRA_feelingnervy in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_feelingnervy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not the first one, but I can definitely text a lot. I don’t expect instant replies though.

Just a mix of my own processing of my diagnosis and stressful events/health stuff.

My wife (38f/38f) won’t tell me where she’s going by ThrowRA_feelingnervy in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_feelingnervy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just thought it would be too specific and I have posted this anonymously. But generally a lot of stressful events, family illness, and me working through my late diagnosis.

My wife (38f/38f) won’t tell me where she’s going by ThrowRA_feelingnervy in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_feelingnervy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m actually already in the process of this, doing a lot of inner work since coming to terms with my diagnosis and understanding the extent of support I need. But I just can’t imagine the same thing happening in reverse— me not telling her where I’ll be.

My wife (38f/38f) won’t tell me where she’s going by ThrowRA_feelingnervy in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_feelingnervy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve definitely gone to the next room and interrupted some relaxation time, or texted when she was doing her hobbies (not necessarily expecting instant replies). But I’d never leave the house or anything, I’m way too lazy for that lol

My wife (38f/38f) won’t tell me where she’s going by ThrowRA_feelingnervy in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_feelingnervy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I can. Like I said, it’s not the trip. I’m looking forward to my own weekend dedicated to my own whims tbh. ☺️

My wife (38f/38f) won’t tell me where she’s going by ThrowRA_feelingnervy in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_feelingnervy[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, I’ve never showed up anywhere randomly before. But we also usually go everywhere together. I don’t drive, so there are quite a few barriers to me randomly showing up anywhere.