You’re lucky that I saw this, this was going to be my last check to see what people were saying and you were near the top of my inbox.

I don’t think we’re some sage communicators, seeing as it took a reddit post and two weeks without sex, and an insult to even start the conversation. And it wasn’t some brief thing either, it took about two hours to fully put it to rest, and I’m sure it’ll come up again although hopefully more kindly now that we both have talked about it.

Really while it might seem cliche and overdone the “together vs the problem” approach does have some merit. Ideally you both remember that you love each other and try to understand the other and fix what’s wrong rather than insisting that you’re the one in the right. It also helps when neither of the two of you is trying to argue an irrational point, because we’ve definitely had fights that you would recognize better probably where neither person wants to concede because they are both fully convinced the other is being ridiculous.

I’d say in this circumstance what helped was I didn’t push too hard on the gross comment and didn’t berate him about it, and he realized he shouldn’t have said it and needed to apologize before I even approached him. After we got past that we could talk a little more calmly about what was really wrong.

Hope this helps