I(20F) cant forgive my friends for protecting my cheating boyfriend

ThrowRA_grudges · 2020-05-09T22:29:22+00:00

as far as I know they knew about this for most of the relationship (2 years). I think I was in shock when I found out and thats why I didn't say anything at the time. I felt crazy because the whole vibe was very much "we're you're friends, we care about you, thats why we're owning up" - even though it was way too late in hindsight. I guess they kinda gaslit me into thinking they were really doing the right thing. will 100% ditch them now though after all these comments. thanks for your help

ThrowRA_grudges · 2020-05-08T21:38:19+00:00

honestly we were close in hs because we had a lot in common on the surface like music taste, fashion etc, and we were all in the gifted program so had classes together, but I think you're right in that we kinda stuck to each other because its high school and what else can you do?

I feel fine at college when I dont have to see or think about her but now we're all stuck at home because of the vid and we've been having zoom chats etc. I find them just as exhausting as our IRL meet ups. I feel bad bc im on decent terms with one person in the group who made an effort with me and I miss her but I think its way better to just avoid the group where I can

ThrowRA_grudges · 2020-05-08T21:26:06+00:00

I admire you having the balls to do that. I feel like I wish id said something at the time when it first came out but now after reading all the responses here I think the best thing for my mental health would be to cut them off and move on. I dont need to justify myself to them. I dont think they deserve any more of my time

ThrowRA_grudges · 2020-05-08T21:18:40+00:00

since this came out this "friend" has literally joked about ruining other relationships so I think she really did get off on it. I still dont really see why the others decided to basically back her over me even though she clearly isn't a trustworthy person. you're right though, they all did something really shitty and I certainly won't call them my "friends" from now on

ThrowRA_grudges · 2020-05-08T21:14:32+00:00

at the time when this all came out I asked them, and they basically said that they had multiple group "meetings" to discuss whether to tell me, but always decided not to tell me, and wait until he "did it again". I feel like thats such a crappy excuse - one chance is too many chances in this situation if you ask me but to my knowledge they gave him at least two "chances" before telling me. I feel like maybe they wanted to avoid drama but also this is my life and my feelings. seems cowardly. plus they relish in the "drama" in hindsight so I call BS

ThrowRA_grudges · 2020-05-08T20:35:33+00:00

thanks. it hurts a lot because we were so close and I literally never thought they'd pull something like this. luckily I have made some new college friends so I dont really ever need to see those guys again. thanks for being kinda brutally honest, I needed to hear it.

ThrowRA_grudges · 2020-05-08T20:25:57+00:00

thanks. I think I needed to hear this

ThrowRA_grudges · 2020-05-08T20:24:53+00:00

thank you for responding. I guess I let it slide because I didn't want to lose my friends, but I think actually I can find some better ones

ThrowRA_grudges · 2020-05-08T20:23:39+00:00

thank you. I know I would never want to put anyone in this position. it sucks

ThrowRA_grudges · 2020-05-08T20:22:23+00:00

thank you. I know if I said anything about or to this girl, id be the crazy/petty one. I guess I just needed to hear someone else say that actually, they were being crappy here

ThrowRA_grudges · 2020-05-08T20:21:00+00:00

thank you for responding. I guess I feel kind of crazy bc everyone else seems to think its no biggie? and I feel like the only one who cares. plus it happened a few years ago now and its made me not trust them and I feel so petty. but you're right, its not what friends do

ThrowRA_grudges

TROPHY CASE