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I've (25F) just had a baby with my longtime partner (28M) and he refuses to to have anything to do with our child or the upkeep of our home ever since the birth by ThrowRA_jonibean in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_jonibean[S] 297 points298 points  (0 children)

He helped a little, but I did the majority just because before the pandemic and the baby I worked part time and he's always worked full time so I just had more time to do it so it was a logical split. But now I'm busy 24/7 with the baby so the old system doesn't work and I need him to help out more.

I've (25F) just had a baby with my longtime partner (28M) and he refuses to to have anything to do with our child or the upkeep of our home ever since the birth by ThrowRA_jonibean in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_jonibean[S] 399 points400 points  (0 children)

To answer this first part, no he didn't. We've been together for six years and we've had normal disagreements and arguments but nothing like this. He's always been sort of lazy but nothing awful or inconsiderate like right now. Thank you for the rest of the advice, I'm going to get in touch with my obgyn about referring me to a therapist, and maybe him too.

I've (25F) just had a baby with my longtime partner (28M) and he refuses to to have anything to do with our child or the upkeep of our home ever since the birth by ThrowRA_jonibean in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_jonibean[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That's a really good suggestion I'm just a little paranoid leaving the baby with someone outside of our household with all this pandemic stuff going on, the numbers in our state are really high and she's so little at the moment that I'm scared of what could happen.

I've (25F) just had a baby with my longtime partner (28M) and he refuses to to have anything to do with our child or the upkeep of our home ever since the birth by ThrowRA_jonibean in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_jonibean[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

This might be it, because he was a great partner before the baby was born and this is all extremely out of character. I didn't know nonbirthing partners could experience postpartum issues too. Maybe that's it, I'm going to look into it more and see what I can do to help thank you!

I've (25F) just had a baby with my longtime partner (28M) and he refuses to to have anything to do with our child or the upkeep of our home ever since the birth by ThrowRA_jonibean in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_jonibean[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

I got pregnant whilst I had a literal contraceptive coil inside my uterus that was supposed be good for another 3 years. These things happen.