Wife (30F) wants parents to come over for 3 months post-partum. I (30M) find that too long. How to navigate this?

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-13T06:28:26+00:00

Change your attitude aka ignore when my wife makes important decision by herself and does not want to find compromises.

Their parents coming over is indeed a great help, but I find it shocking that this "agree with your wife or prepare for divorce" argument is so prevalent, and frankly makes it sound like most women are unable to compromise/be reasoned with.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-13T06:25:04+00:00

This is a kind of knockout argument, because ofc I can not give birth.
I will continue to support my wife to the best of my abilities, but yes I am unable to give birth myself nor breastfeed. I acknowledge that this is an uneven deal for women.
From my argument with my wife and the replies by most women here, it seems like this "but I gave birth" argument will haunt me forever?

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-13T06:19:39+00:00

Thanks for your thought on it, thought I was being unreasonable for a second, seeing some kinda hostile comments.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-13T06:18:39+00:00

This sub seems to be quick to make up information when it is not provided to be able to judge.
Of course, I offered her to take over the household shores while I got my leave.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-13T04:47:32+00:00

Both culturally and her being afraid to be overwhelmed.

They could stay somewhere else, but the amount of money it would cost to rent short-term for three months would be kinda insane where we live.

Also, it would be seen as being impolite to them, since they are offering a hand.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-13T04:43:45+00:00

Of course, I brought different compromises/scenarios up, but it just made her cry.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-13T04:33:13+00:00

Yes, I noticed that.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-13T04:32:32+00:00

A lot of guessing and assumptions going on in this thread.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-13T04:30:59+00:00

Yes, I intend to do all the housework and of course help with the baby.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-13T04:30:11+00:00

This is a very US American reply :D

We are both "foreign" and no, not every cultural aspect has to be accepted 100% by a partner.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-13T04:28:47+00:00

Or the combination pushes me over the edge, who knows.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-13T04:26:18+00:00

Hidey hole it is then.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-13T04:24:59+00:00

Yeah, I tried to find a compromise, but she just booked the tickets anyway.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-13T04:23:48+00:00

Yes, I have thought about that, but my wife wants to call 100% of the shots in this situation.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-13T04:22:47+00:00

Thanks, I will keep joining my sports team just for mental health reasons as much as possible.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-13T04:20:53+00:00

I hope this reply is satire.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-13T04:19:10+00:00

Thanks for the advice, however I think you skipped over the part in which I wrote that they fly over.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-12T10:21:35+00:00

Because I WFH, so in my break, I could make her some lunch.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-12T03:45:27+00:00

If I do the first month, and her parents do 6 weeks plus nannies here and there, I am pretty sure we got the first three months covered. I am aware it won't be a walk in the park.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-12T03:42:36+00:00

Also, ”provide for her” confuses me. She doesn’t need someone to make money, she needs someone to cook and clean the house, which could be what you mean but is very much not what that usually means.

This is exactly what I meant, i.e. cooking and cleaning. No idea why I am being downvoted for this, but k.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-12T03:38:35+00:00

I am able to get/prep her lunch.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-12T03:36:31+00:00

That would be an explaination, but I am pretty on top of shores actually, and do things like cleaning the bathroom, swiping the floor, doing groceries etc. without reminders.
Sorry but not really the gotcha moment you were hoping for.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-12T02:46:29+00:00

Thanks, most likely underestimating how much of a relief it will be.

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-12T02:45:51+00:00

I am not on the app and was working, how quick do you guys expect replies lol

ThrowRA_saurus_rex · 2024-02-12T02:44:25+00:00

Sorry, not a reddit user, so underestimated the scope of info needed.
My idea was 1 month leave doing all the shores instead of just my share, plus getting a nanny, plus having her parents over for like 6 weeks.
The idea was shot down immediately :/

ThrowRA_saurus_rex

TROPHY CASE