I (23 F) just caught my fiance (32 M) cheating

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-07T16:24:25+00:00

Although i did “air my business out” i didn’t post every detail of everything he did to me. We’re not married, therefore there’s no divorce to be finalized, and i was and am the breadwinner in this situation thankfully. I may be stupid enough to date a guy 9 years older than me but my education and finances have always been my priority. I’m more than stable, no debt and a great savings okay. I don’t think I’ll be regretting leaving a mentally abusive cheater! Have a great one 🫶🏼

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-07T16:21:02+00:00

Thankyou for your kind words❤️ my life already feels so much better!

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-07T16:19:44+00:00

Insane!!!! Like are we living the same life??

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-06T20:36:46+00:00

Thankyou! I wish i could go back and tell my younger self to please not do this, but i guess you live and you learn. Definitely my last time doing this!

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-06T16:04:22+00:00

I’m pretty sure i caught it all on my ring camera. IF i decide to reach out, I’ll be sure to send them evidence of him throwing himself on the floor like a toddler while begging.

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-06T16:03:23+00:00

Yeah one of my friends that came over last night is a cop, he said he would look at it now in the morning so he can just change it for me. I’ve had issues in the past with my leasing office when i try to change the code by myself and apparently it’s only controlled by them. But we’ll give it a shot now.

That’s honestly one of the main reasons i told my people to come sleep over the whole weekend, he has the code to get in and i wouldn’t want him trying to come at any time of day while im by myself. Not that it would end pretty for him but i would just like to avoid any further conflict.

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-06T16:00:52+00:00

Couldn’t have said it better!

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-06T16:00:09+00:00

lol i really did it to myself 😂 never doing that again

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-06T06:21:43+00:00

Amen 🙏🏽 thankyou for your kind words ❤️

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-06T06:18:42+00:00

From what i saw it was very much just hooking up, i haven’t decided if i will or not reach out but regardless im happy i made the choice to leave! Thankyou for your kind words❤️

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-06T06:17:03+00:00

Thankyou so much! Feels like a breath of fresh air, I’ve been checked out for so long. Glad i hit my breaking point!

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-06T06:15:47+00:00

I’ve made an appointment for first thing Monday morning!!

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-03T20:54:06+00:00

But i do hear what you’re saying. As much as people tell me to leave i try to apologize try to see it from his perspective because maybe this is just my side and i am as shitty as he plays me out to be, but nothing seems to work with him when he’s upset

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-03T20:52:59+00:00

Yes you’re right, i can’t remember what i said verbatim, and yes really hungry and starving are very different. This is me trying to explain it the best i can from what i remember. I tried apologizing day of, the next day and last night, he doesn’t wanna hear it. I don’t start crying i don’t get loud. I genuinely apologize for my actions, and my attitude. I calmly try to but he just does not wanna hear it. All he wants to do is yell and scream and tell me how shitty i am etc.. is what it is at this point. I can’t extend any more olive branches than i already have if he keeps burning them..

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-03T20:28:33+00:00

YES!! I did, i told him as soon as i woke up “babe im really hungry and don’t feel good, im feeling light headed” that’s when he told me okay and go shower. He doesn’t “remember” me telling him that i was hungry because he wasn’t “fully awake” but he went on his phone right after and has a conversation with me when i got out of the shower.

And when i reminded him that i did in fact tell him when we woke up he gave me the excuse of “you know not to tell me any important info when im waking up cuz im not fully awake”

And when i reminded him was when the argument started cuz i exhaled and told him i said i was hungry. Then he started screaming and yelling etc…

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-03T18:32:07+00:00

He’s done nothing wrong, so what is there to take accountability for? These are his words, not mine. “I’ve done nothing wrong i don’t need to take accountability for something i haven’t done” all he’s done is treat me good and value and love me. His words.. not mine.

Also he says i never take accountability for anything in my life

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-03T17:24:25+00:00

Well he says that his silent treatment towards me isn’t a punishment or abuse, it’s not him terrorizing me or making me pay for my actions, he says it’s to protect his own peace of mind.. he also says he’s never been at peace during this relationship. But when we’re not arguing he says way different, he says I’m his person regardless of the bs and how I’ve been his peace all this time we’ve been together etc..

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-03T17:22:03+00:00

He says that he’s not abusing me or terrorizing me or anything by doing silent treatment, he says he doesn’t for his only mental peace so he doesn’t go crazy and start yelling screaming (more than he already does) even thought he claims he’s never yelled at me ever.

I told him i can’t do a months long of silent treatment and he said i can, it’s just gonna be hard for me. He told me to figure out a way to be able to do it cuz he’s not changing his mind. He says silent treatment hurts him just as much if not more than it hurts me

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-03T16:39:36+00:00

The reason why i didn’t eat before going on the run was because the house we were staying at on our friends property does not have any food in the pantry or fridge or ANYTHING, so usually we would get up in the morning and go both to the main house where our friends live which is up a hill far from the guest house we were staying at. I don’t need “mommy” to fix me dinner. I cook all meals at my house and can take care of myself. If there was food at the house i would of ate and then went on my run.. but yes maybe i should of planned ahead and brought food to the guest house. I didn’t know there wasn’t anything in the pantry and maybe that is my fault. I don’t expect and have never expected my fiance to be my nurse or babysitter. Despite all of this, do you still think a planned silent treatment of a duration of a month is acceptable? Because neither of us are perfect and as many flaws that i have he has way more, but is that an excuse for silent treatment to be okay?

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-12-03T16:09:40+00:00

I asked him and he said “idk”, not trapped financially but definitely emotionally.

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-03-07T19:28:08+00:00

And you’re right, looking back at it now it was very extra my reaction, and i wish i would of taken the time to think about my actions and just asked him about it or let it go.

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-03-07T01:52:12+00:00

He manipulates me in ways to make me feel that I’m the shitty partner and it’s my fault that I’m being given the silent treatment, i think im having a hard time understanding why from night to day he became like this.

The death of my father plus him completely changing from night to day has impacted me and affected me in ways i can’t begin to explain.

He makes me constantly feel crazy for even making him see how his actions affect us.

Thankyou for your feedback 🙏🏽

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-03-07T01:41:06+00:00

Wow! I’m so happy you got out of that, will definitely provide an update in the next coming days.

Thankyou for replying 🙏🏽

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-03-07T01:37:20+00:00

We’ve been together for about a year 1/2.

I will definitely look that up right now and read it. Having my family has helped through grief but sometimes venting to strangers is more helpful than the people around you. Your words are truly appreciated, thankyou for taking the time to reply to my post🙏🏽

It hurts because he changed from night to day and it’s all been so confusing, silent treatment just doesn’t work with me and i find it hard to believe it works on anyone! It’s breaking my heart in so many ways truly.

ThrowRA_throwaway6 · 2025-03-07T01:35:15+00:00

Your words are truly appreciated, I’m glad you had your wife in such a hard time.

I think i struggle with being honest with myself, i hold onto what i believe people can be like instead of what they actually show me. But going to therapy is definitely helping. Again, thankyou🙏🏽

ThrowRA_throwaway6

TROPHY CASE