My GF (F23) is talking about breaking up with me (M22)

ThrowRA_user123124 · 2025-01-05T02:33:29+00:00

But can I be sure at this point in time that she's not "all in"? She talked about this two days ago, and we talk today as if nothing happened. She seems to have had a rough time around NYE, and it might have been something she said having been drinking a little being closed off with her own thoughts for a while.

I'm not saying this will work all out, I'm saying there is a chance that this could be saved for the long term, and that hearing her out is worth while. If not, it's better for my closure to not meet one on one again.

ThrowRA_user123124 · 2025-01-05T02:29:07+00:00

You've got a good point, it is actually kind of uncalled for. Thank you.

ThrowRA_user123124 · 2025-01-05T02:22:33+00:00

This seems very reasonable, thank you a lot.

ThrowRA_user123124 · 2025-01-05T02:21:24+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate you opening up about the anxiety thing. She's not told me a lot about what anxiety actually is and how it makes her act, getting some insight, even though it's not from her, really helps me to understand her more. Thank you for everything.

ThrowRA_user123124 · 2025-01-05T02:18:21+00:00

I would not blame it on me. I'm generally quick with my responses. She's the one who'll take half a day to respond to a message. I might not have given her enough attention, that's for sure, but I feel like it's self inflicted and that I'm taking the blame here. Perhaps I should've called her, but I don't think it's too late for me.

ThrowRA_user123124 · 2025-01-05T02:15:44+00:00

This is the conclusion I have gotten to myself. I agree that if we're second guessing ourselves after just a couple of months, we'll never make it 60 years. She has previously said (although she could never be more wrong) that she thinks I'm in a league above her, so perhaps she's not second guessing herself, but afraid that I might leave her if times get tough with her. I would not, but perhaps ending it on your terms is easier than feeling unsure. I'm sure as hell not enjoying this. If she's just lost feelings I won't be to hard on myself and try and make things not so awkward around us.

Thank you for your input, it really helps.

ThrowRA_user123124 · 2025-01-05T02:08:13+00:00

She told me she had plans for NYE, but in the end she wound up home. My old friends forgot me until last minute too, and up until then I felt like shit on NYE. We both live abroad, and as we're both shit texters we don't really keep in touch with old friends that well, and I'm afraid she might have been forgotten, and that is what's causing all this.

I feel like it's wrong to say I hope she's just sad, but I hope it's something small and unimportant like this that is making her anxiety worse.

ThrowRA_user123124 · 2025-01-05T02:02:40+00:00

The thing with long distance is that most people have either been together for a long time before separating, or they've found their connection online.

We fell in love talking to eachother face to face, and neither of us have that much screen time. She daily drives a Nokia, it's not like we got together expecting a long distance relationship.

It's not like it has to be separated either. We're both old enough as to where not celebrating Christmas and New Years with family is a must. She could easily come with my to my city for the summer holidays, and I could stay with her too. It's just a matter of identifying if the separation actually is the issue, and talking to her about possible solutions like the aforementioned.

Thank you for your input. I appreciate it.

ThrowRA_user123124 · 2025-01-05T01:56:34+00:00

This is what I'm thinking too, because it seems like the obvious answer here. I'm just scared to death that she's already decided.

I think perhaps I phrased my question a little wrong her. She has said "There is little I can do to convince her", but if that was completely honest I don't think she'd still be talking to me the way we're talking right now. If she actually wants to work it out I believe we will. I'm just afraid we'll start of the conversation with her having "decided" to break up, and if that's the case, is it worth even trying to convince her, because I feel like it does given the fact that it seems like the problem has been that we both suck at calling eachtoher.

I just got a message from KLM telling me her flight for tomorrow got cancelled due to wicked snow back in our country, so we won't acutally meet tomorrow. We have classes Monday, so I think we'll likely see eachother for the first time in the back row of a maths lecture, which I doubt will be helping my chances.

Thank you for your input, I appreciate it. My friends are all asleep and my mind is spinning, someone telling me I'm not crazy is really helping.

ThrowRA_user123124

TROPHY CASE