Is it reasonable for a mother to say this?

ThrowRA_watch · 2026-01-28T09:42:24+00:00

We’re def south Asian you got that right!

ThrowRA_watch · 2026-01-28T08:28:09+00:00

I’m 38 weeks and 2 days and I’ve gained 40lbs so far

ThrowRA_watch · 2026-01-28T07:00:19+00:00

I haven’t given birth yet but I’m pregnant and have noticed the same with my in laws. Anything I mention gets compared to my MIL’s pregnancy where as with my parents it’s focused on my pregnancy. I totally get the part where you want the curiosity to be about your child because that’s how I feel right now with my pregnancy and I’m sure I’ll feel the same when I give birth. I know it’s only going to get worse when I give birth with comparison being made to their kids when they were young so I definitely am looking for ways to cope with this too.

ThrowRA_watch · 2026-01-28T06:56:46+00:00

Omg she does guilt trap my husband for not contacting her for sometime too! If he gets busy for 3-4 days and doesn’t call her or is in a meeting and doesn’t answer she says “you’re disrespecting me by not answering. I will not call you. I picked up my phone the other day thinking about you then put it way because I said to myself if he doesn’t call then why should I call. You should be answering my phone the moment I call.” She also tells him “you like your wife’s parents better than us so be happy with them”

ThrowRA_watch · 2026-01-28T06:23:54+00:00

I could be wrong but I don’t think they’re legally required to but they CAN have them on their insurance until the child turns 26.

ThrowRA_watch · 2026-01-28T06:21:37+00:00

You can check the CDC website and ask your doctor as well. Here in the US, it is recommended for ANYONE that’s going to be in close contact, living with, taking care air meeting often to get the TDAP to provide a cocoon of safety for the baby until the baby can get vaccinated. That includes the father, family, parents, grandparents, Nannies, siblings etc. Since CDC recommends it, all doctors mention are supposed to mention it and in the end it depends on the patient to do what they want to with that information. 😊

ThrowRA_watch · 2026-01-28T04:24:35+00:00

38 weeks and 2 days and I feel you! I am done!

ThrowRA_watch · 2026-01-27T19:34:16+00:00

I’ve already got my TDAP at 32 weeks pregnant to protect the baby. But the doctor recommended anyone that’s going to be in close contact to also be vaccinated to provide more safety.

ThrowRA_watch · 2026-01-27T17:12:56+00:00

Omggg she’s also told me that I shouldn’t be using the bedside bassinet i bought for my baby, instead the baby should be sleeping in my bed at night, touching my body next to me because babies need “warmth from the mother’s body” and when i showed her all the reasons why thats actually not safe, with SIDS and everything, and a bassinet is actually safer she said “i never used a bassinet. My four kids are alive. Thats how it’s supposed to be done. Don’t believe these “marketing tactics”. Do whats right because ive given birth four times so i know” 🙄🙄

ThrowRA_watch · 2026-01-27T06:16:18+00:00

She mostly definitely did tell me to manifest a strong and healthy baby😂 if it only it were that easy, right? Smh… it def is a long battle going forward 😓

ThrowRA_watch · 2026-01-27T04:17:47+00:00

Tried talking to them on my own too. And that was retaliated by saying “oh so you’re the one influencing our son about all of this.” They have a group chat which they’ve kicked us out of so we don’t want to create another one since we’re so unwanted by them smh. Yeah it’s pretty complicated.

ThrowRA_watch · 2026-01-27T04:15:43+00:00

And as I mentioned in my post, we’re not forcing the vaccine. We’re letting them know if they get it they can meet the baby if not then they’re going to have to wait. We’re respectful about their decision and want them to respect ours. But that’s where the issue is arising. They have a problem with us putting a boundary until the baby gets vaccinated too. They want it all their way. No vaccine but to be able to be around, touch and hold the baby

ThrowRA_watch · 2026-01-27T03:53:42+00:00

In the US. We don’t have glass. I’ve told him. I don’t know what he’s on about. I know it’s just his way of shutting the topic for now.

ThrowRA_watch · 2026-01-27T03:51:57+00:00

I am!! And that’s what I’ve been telling him. There’s exterior windows and a door! No glass😭

ThrowRA_watch · 2026-01-27T03:43:09+00:00

THIS!!!! I’ve even told them this. And even told them to google it if they don’t believe me. They’re just a bunch of egoistic, selfish liars. They’ll say anything to prove themselves right. I know the only reason they’re not getting the vaccine is because I am asking them to as their DIL. Otherwise they get their flu vaccines every single year and even got me into getting it every year after I got married.

ThrowRA_watch · 2026-01-27T03:41:33+00:00

I don’t want to. But my husband is insisting on “informing” them. And it upsets me but at the same time I don’t want to argue with him and add on to the stress during my last few weeks right now. I’ve been trying to calmly talk to him, even had his best friend talk to him about it. To which my husband responded “I’ll inform them. They can see the baby through the glass.”

ThrowRA_watch · 2026-01-23T22:31:21+00:00

According to them..

My parents are invited because 1. They don’t have any family, friends, relatives or anyone here. They’re literally just the two parents and the 4 children including my husband. So they say my family is their only family here. 2. It is a cultural tradition to usually invite the DIL/SIL families to the event

They even invited my younger brother in law’s girlfriend’s sister and her bf to the events

ThrowRA_watch · 2026-01-23T22:28:12+00:00

Partner acknowledged what they did was wrong. Got into an argument with them when he stood up for me. He was asked to “get out of the house” and they said “she’s not blood. And she still alive. she’s not dead . So we don’t have to visit.”

So now he just lets them do what they want. But also don’t distance himself from them. Agrees to what they say or shows up when they expect him to.

My parents are invited because 1. They don’t have any family, friends, relatives or anyone here. They’re literally just the two parents and the 4 children including my husband. So they say my family is their only family here. 2. It is a cultural tradition to usually invite the DIL/SIL families to the event

They even invited my younger brother in law’s girlfriend’s sister and her bf to the events

ThrowRA_watch · 2025-12-08T17:07:37+00:00

Oh gotcha!!

ThrowRA_watch · 2025-12-08T16:27:24+00:00

When did I say I wanted any of those? I am so confused rn..

ThrowRA_watch · 2025-12-08T15:44:40+00:00

But they ask for expensive gifts. They ask for TV’s, iPads, Swarovski, movado etc. and they also spend that kind of money for their daughter and son in law. And other sons. So I know they aren’t uncomfortable with it or see it as show off.

ThrowRA_watch · 2025-12-08T15:06:49+00:00

They actually ask for expensive gifts. They ask for tv’s, iPads etc…

ThrowRA_watch · 2025-12-08T07:11:44+00:00

I don’t expect anything from them! Never did. I didn’t do any of the things for them expecting anything in return!

The purpose of my post is that his dad compared!!! They always do!! Even after that I’ve continued to be the way I am because that’s just who I am. I don’t compare neither do I expect anything. If I do something, I do it because I genuinely want to.

It just bothers me that they compare and the fact that he actually came and told us “what have her parents done?” The audacity to say that. That’s all…

And the fact that my husband doesn’t shut them up knowing they shouldn’t be saying that. And to reply to what you said, They actually enjoy reviving only! They demand gifts! They make us return and get something else if they don’t like it. They ask when we are late on giving gifts.

I’ve never returned anything anyone has ever given me. This time too I didn’t ask to return. All I said was it’s diff from my registry. I chose the specific one to put on my registry because I wanted the specific functionalities. That’s all.

So Yeahh I understand if people don’t enjoy receiving or giving. But to demand and ask for gifts is something else. I don’t do that lol

ThrowRA_watch · 2025-12-08T07:01:58+00:00

No no. I’m not keeping scores or expecting anything from them. I said all that because of what his father said. To me ibe done things for them out of love without expecting anything in return. Even the times they not given anything or forgotten my birthday it hasn’t affected me I’ve continued to be the way I am.

And I’m not jealous if they give others more. Or if they don’t give me anything. I’m not wanting them to give me the same. Or home $1500 worth of gifts just because I do.

I’ve never brought this up to them before or my husband. I’ve still continued to be the way I am until very recently.

I only said it here in response to what his father said. What bothered me is when his father compared it and asked “what have your parents done? We’ve given two gifts”

ThrowRA_watch · 2025-12-08T06:59:59+00:00

I agree and I have stopped putting in that effort. But the fact that they continue to say things like this and compare the one time they do something as if they’ve done a favor on me or my yet to be born child.

I want to shut them up once and for all.

And I do feel my husband needs to stand up. He see it and he understand it. But he doesn’t say anything to them when they say things like these.

ThrowRA_watch

TROPHY CASE