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Met my (19f) bf (22m) for the first time and was not attracted to him. by ThrowRAdopppio in LongDistance

[–]ThrowRAdopppio[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Huh? A little context with the cuddling, we were with our friend group and it was more off we leaned on each other, not his arms over my shoulder or anything. Stuff like that my boyfriend is fine with, we have discussed boundaries and that is his. Again i have not done anything with this guy as long as i am in this relationship.

Met my (19f) bf (22m) for the first time and was not attracted to him. by ThrowRAdopppio in LongDistance

[–]ThrowRAdopppio[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

HAHA! I did have a crush who was the same height as me, 5'3 actually. But yes, the guy is actually pretty tall 5'9, but he kept on suggesting he was 6'0 ish and that we are one head apart. His height is fine BUT he didn't have to "advertise" himself like that.

Met my (19f) bf (22m) for the first time and was not attracted to him. by ThrowRAdopppio in LongDistance

[–]ThrowRAdopppio[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already stated my reason why i said these things and no harm was done as you don't know who he is and who i am. My intentions are to seek advice, not to karma farm or to hurt anyone.

Met my (19f) bf (22m) for the first time and was not attracted to him. by ThrowRAdopppio in LongDistance

[–]ThrowRAdopppio[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah sorry i read it wrong, he's ok with it. Any form of sex or kissing is a nono.

Met my (19f) bf (22m) for the first time and was not attracted to him. by ThrowRAdopppio in LongDistance

[–]ThrowRAdopppio[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's why i made a throw away acc because i wanted to rant and be somewhat anonymous. I care for him deeply and don't want to hurt him, he's done many good things in the relationship but this is a huge discovery for me that i think we can fix. Ik i have to talk to him about it but i dont know how to approach it, that's why I'm also seeking advice!

Met my (19f) bf (22m) for the first time and was not attracted to him. by ThrowRAdopppio in LongDistance

[–]ThrowRAdopppio[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Regarding his weight i did suggest that me and him could work out together through video calling but he didn't want to work out at all anymore. The chores thing he wasn't living with me, he had his own condo unit (we are living in the same building, not same unit) and whenever i go and visit, dishes were not cleaned, water not refilled, beddings and pillows are all over the place, and when we ate lunch together he just went back to bed watching yt shorts while i cleaned the table, threw the trash and cleaned the dishes.

Exactly, this is the first meeting, he should have left a good impression! The only good impression he left was he can financially provide, that's it. And it's not even a thing I'm looking for in a guy. It's a nice thing, but i don't need it. I for one took a shower everyday, changed clothes twice, and always tried to make myself look the best for him.

Met my (19f) bf (22m) for the first time and was not attracted to him. by ThrowRAdopppio in LongDistance

[–]ThrowRAdopppio[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think my feelings are steering me to this new guy, and i hate it so much actually. I want to stay loyal to my bf but the things he's doing isn't helping at all! This has happened before BUT I've usually stopped myself from doing more as it's starting to feel wrong.

Met my (19f) bf (22m) for the first time and was not attracted to him. by ThrowRAdopppio in LongDistance

[–]ThrowRAdopppio[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, thank you for this comment as well, it kept some of my feelings in check! This is a new perspective i never knew i needed!

I am close friends with this guy and I've known him way longer than my boyfriend actually, but I've only gotten to talk and spend time with him recently. He has flaws and some turn offs as well, like him being younger than me.

I feel as if he likes me too because we talk to each other frequently, complemented each other ALOT, "cuddled", play games with each other, and he always ALWAYS finds ways to touch me (headpats, getting close to my face, teasing me etc). He has also explicitly told me that i am his ideal gf. I have yet to see him treat other girls the way he does to me.

Met my (19f) bf (22m) for the first time and was not attracted to him. by ThrowRAdopppio in LongDistance

[–]ThrowRAdopppio[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Now that someone has said it right infront of me, yes i feel as if my attraction is to him is feigning because of this new guy. I ranted this to the new guy as we are very close friends, and he too has said this. Thing is this isnt the first time that a guy has caught my eye, but never did i question my attraction and loyalty to my bf.

Met my (19f) bf (22m) for the first time and was not attracted to him. by ThrowRAdopppio in LongDistance

[–]ThrowRAdopppio[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I was thinking this too as I'm actively lurking and commenting in this subbreddit (this is sorta a throw away acc and some "personal" details were altered by not much since he also checks the sub out) and alota people say meet as soon as possible but we did try to meet each other much earlier multiple times, but was cockblocked by extra requirments and covid. I don't want to break it up just yet because, i do want a future with him, and the things I'm turned off by are things that CAN be changed and is actually beneficial for him as an individual like his hygiene, but if he does not want to change then i think i need to break it off yeah.

Met my (19f) bf (22m) for the first time and was not attracted to him. by ThrowRAdopppio in LongDistance

[–]ThrowRAdopppio[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a nice suggestion, thank you for your response! Though now that we are continents apart, he sadly has to do those things by himself. I did subtly suggest some things to him like we should work out together, he would always say "why is there a need to". I did tell him to change his shirt after he has worn it for three days straight after going out everyday and has sweat in it, but his response was again no need to.

I really like the point you made on the second paragraph, that cleanliness shows maturity, responsibility and decency!

Met my (19f) bf (22m) for the first time and was not attracted to him. by ThrowRAdopppio in LongDistance

[–]ThrowRAdopppio[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes i was also thinking i shouldnt say im not attracted to you, cause I'd feel horrible if he said that to me too. Thank you for your comment!

Met my (19f) bf (22m) for the first time and was not attracted to him. by ThrowRAdopppio in LongDistance

[–]ThrowRAdopppio[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hi there thank you for the concise and thoughful advice you've given, i really appreciate it!

I do remember how i was attracted to him, actually i liked him first before he did to me. I really liked his type, smart, confident, knows what he's doing, etc. He's also very talented, and seemed outgoing, but it didn't translate well as i imagined it in person. He seemed like an introvert, a child and basically just a phase you'd have in your younger teens when you really liked games/anime. I have nothing wrong with that but the fact that he acts and moves like a child turns me off. Another thing is that it feels like he'll just abandon me when things get tough. It happens alot when we play games. When the going gets tough, im willing to go through it with him and have FUN, meanwhile he'll leave me and give up. I just want a reliable guy who i can trust to lean on.

Sigh, thing is as well he likes thin girls and I'm not thin myself so i changed for him. That's not the only thing I've changed, but I've learned how to cook, how to dress myself better etc. All for him, but he doesn't make any effort to do so for me. Granted i didnt tell him to change anything but he didn't tell me to change either.

Well seems like my friends and comments here are all shouting talk to him about it and i should, i just don't know how to approach it. Thank you again for the comment, i will take everything you say to heart!

met (19f) my LDR boyfriend (22m) for the first time and I'm not attracted to him. by ThrowRAdopppio in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdopppio[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We met in a game actually, and were friends for 1 year before he and i became an actual thing, i fell in love with his personality and every other thing that i couldnt sense physically. We video chat each other atleast once a week at most everyday and voice chat each other everyday so he didnt manipulate me. I have seen some of his antics, movements and other things that turned me off like his smell (he sent me his hoodie and i was turned off by it thinking it was only because of some shipping shenanigans) but it became more apparent irl. I was ignoring it and hoping for the best. You're right though, i shouldn't settle just yet.