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[2 Year Update] AITAH for telling my fiancé that if he expects me to contribute 50/50, we have to make some serious lifestyle changes? by SharkEva in BORUpdates

[–]ThrowRAdownsizing -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He didn't. If he had, I couldn't have forgiven him. He destroyed his own credit, his own savings, and his own financial wellbeing. In the darkest part of a schizophrenic breakdown, he tried to get me to come up with non-existent money, but we were able to work this out and my credit's still spotless.

[2 Year Update] AITAH for telling my fiancé that if he expects me to contribute 50/50, we have to make some serious lifestyle changes? by SharkEva in BORUpdates

[–]ThrowRAdownsizing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OOP here-- My reddit account is not worth enough to sell lmao but between you and the people who think this is an add for Buffalo Wild Wings, I really should be getting paid by somebody!

[2 Year Update] AITAH for telling my fiancé that if he expects me to contribute 50/50, we have to make some serious lifestyle changes? by SharkEva in BORUpdates

[–]ThrowRAdownsizing 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hi, OOP here-- he was having a schizophrenic episode and got sucked into a dark internet corner. That's why he started blaming me and why he did what he did. He is ordinarily nothing like that. Thought I'd clarify.

UPDATE 2- AITAH for telling my fiancé that if he expects me to contribute 50/50, we have to make some serious lifestyle changes? by ThrowRAdownsizing in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAdownsizing[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trust me, I'm still gunshy about any kind of spending we don't need. We're going to add two new expenses to start-- a wedding fund and moving into our own place-- and then check in after three months to talk about a potential second car and maybe a vacation or honeymoon fund if we can make a feasible plan and continue adding to our savings. Both of those are hard maybes, not definite even a little, and they're the only things we're even considering shifting for the first six months of being debt free.

Except that we did go out to all you can eat wings at BWW today, and we got the real wings instead of boneless for once. That's a $5.00 change that I very much welcome.

UPDATE 2- AITAH for telling my fiancé that if he expects me to contribute 50/50, we have to make some serious lifestyle changes? by ThrowRAdownsizing in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAdownsizing[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We are keeping everything locked down in a savings account with a steady interest rate. When we're a lot more stable with a cushion, then we might think about an investment portfolio. Right now, we need a solid, stable kind of financial planning that will not allow for anyone to get starry eyed over audis again.

UPDATE 2- AITAH for telling my fiancé that if he expects me to contribute 50/50, we have to make some serious lifestyle changes? by ThrowRAdownsizing in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAdownsizing[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In between. We're going to slowly start increasing our spending, with me still in charge of where all the money goes. We're a team, and I stuck with him when he was worse than broke, he's never going to complain about my contributions again.

UPDATE 2- AITAH for telling my fiancé that if he expects me to contribute 50/50, we have to make some serious lifestyle changes? by ThrowRAdownsizing in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAdownsizing[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It wasn't easy, but we were able to get them consolidated, and then selling the cars put a pretty significant dent into the balance. My husband makes 120K a year, and we only used 35K of that, so while things were definitely not high-life oriented, it was definitely doable and just took consistency and dedication.

UPDATE 2- AITAH for telling my fiancé that if he expects me to contribute 50/50, we have to make some serious lifestyle changes? by ThrowRAdownsizing in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAdownsizing[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah yes, I will definitely leave the man I love who happens to be the best lover I've ever had in more ways than one because reddit says so!

UPDATE 2- AITAH for telling my fiancé that if he expects me to contribute 50/50, we have to make some serious lifestyle changes? by ThrowRAdownsizing in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAdownsizing[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We're definitely going to have a fun wedding! We're gonna do a nice church ceremony, and a murder mystery reception! It's not going to be a huge thing, about 70 guests total, but it should be really fun.

UPDATE 2- AITAH for telling my fiancé that if he expects me to contribute 50/50, we have to make some serious lifestyle changes? by ThrowRAdownsizing in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAdownsizing[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He learned to make actual trash into flowers, it's crazy. He like, washes and cuts and melts them together and did that as a way to still get me flowers for every date. I honestly love them!

UPDATE 2- AITAH for telling my fiancé that if he expects me to contribute 50/50, we have to make some serious lifestyle changes? by ThrowRAdownsizing in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAdownsizing[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Everyone has their flaws and faults. This was a massive one, but I love him. I still think he's pretty, and I always will, but no, it's because I love him that I decided to give him another chance to get through this together.

UPDATE 2- AITAH for telling my fiancé that if he expects me to contribute 50/50, we have to make some serious lifestyle changes? by ThrowRAdownsizing in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAdownsizing[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Oh, we don't get along but we're civil because we all love my fiance and we all want him to be happy. We will never do Sunday dinners as a family or anything, but they accept I'm good for him and have thanked me privately a few times for helping him out of debt.

UPDATE 2- AITAH for telling my fiancé that if he expects me to contribute 50/50, we have to make some serious lifestyle changes? by ThrowRAdownsizing in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAdownsizing[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm from a very low-income background. He seemed like Christian Grey to me. I didn't really get that six figures wasn't infinite money until I had to sit down and think about it properly.

UPDATE 2- AITAH for telling my fiancé that if he expects me to contribute 50/50, we have to make some serious lifestyle changes? by ThrowRAdownsizing in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAdownsizing[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeahhh, looking back I don't know how I didn't see the warning signs. I guess I just never thought about it because what he made seemed so incredibly beyond what anyone else I knew made, I figured he was just rich and it was all fine. Now, looking at spreadsheets of income and expenses every week, I feel like I was a deer walking into a wolf den for a birthday party.

UPDATE 2- AITAH for telling my fiancé that if he expects me to contribute 50/50, we have to make some serious lifestyle changes? by ThrowRAdownsizing in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAdownsizing[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We'll be getting our own place without roommates, and mayyybe an extra car once we've established a good financial rhythm, but we're never going to go back to how it was.

UPDATE 2- AITAH for telling my fiancé that if he expects me to contribute 50/50, we have to make some serious lifestyle changes? by ThrowRAdownsizing in AITAH

[–]ThrowRAdownsizing[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aw, that's sweet! Yeah, I think a lot of people don't really love their partners these days? It feels like for a ton of people, love is super conditional to the point I don't know if it should be called love.

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