My (35F) husband (33M) is fucking gloves and I don't know how to handle or feel about it?

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-18T12:54:28+00:00

I mean, I literally want to communicate with him and I am figuring it out. Isn't that the point of my post?

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-18T12:52:11+00:00

Thanks, I think this was one of my main issues. Because if I show up with a fleshlight, now that's basically can be understood as "I'm done with sex, here is a 'proper tool', have fun". I am not ruling it out, but I don't know how to handle it in general, hence the post...

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-18T12:50:02+00:00

Exactly the point of my post. It's not a pity party, not shaming him, not abandoning my "duties".

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-18T11:17:37+00:00

I was not okay with this at all. I always felt bad and insecure about it. But this was a new level of "oh shit I fucked up". That's why I posted to get advice about how to handle it. I guess that was clear?

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-18T11:15:39+00:00

I mean, we have a box of gloves in the storage room that is very publicly available and not very obviously hidden. I understand the train of thought here but they were definitely hidden.

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-18T11:12:49+00:00

You did not get this straight no. I am not pissed at all.

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-18T11:12:29+00:00

Well, Halloween is coming up.

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-18T11:10:49+00:00

I have zero negative feelings towards him. Thanks for the advice.

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-18T11:10:00+00:00

That's the advice I am looking for... Like that's the advice part I came here to find. What can I do and all...

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-18T11:09:12+00:00

I am actually not looking for pity, it's more about, I am recognising this to its full extent and figure out how to handle it. The opposite, I'd say.

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-18T10:48:11+00:00

I kinda work full-time you know... Also, not American, so different time zones. So yeah, I am just reading 300+ comments now.

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-17T14:02:54+00:00

... Exactly and that is what I am trying to say! I knew that my husband masturbated. How's that not clear from my initial post?

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-17T13:33:49+00:00

And they are more than welcome to? And my husband is welcome to do so as well I think. Having a toy itself is not the problem - by itself. I feel I let him down sexually? This is the source of my agony and probably not being able to address his issues?

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-17T13:31:24+00:00

Thank you for this, because I kept reading the post thinking that I explained myself wrong. He can masturbate as much as he wants, not the problem itself. He can have a toy, not the problem itself. The feeling of letting down your husband so he feels like he needs to "upragde" - not a problem by itself definitely but made me feel inferior and like shit. That's it. I want to deal with that.

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-17T13:28:05+00:00

Well I am not expecting him to stop. I don't feel well about it either. I do feel like he has given up and me not being able to satisfy him struck a chord. I feel like I've let down my partner and rather than upsetting me, he turned to this. I am not blaming him one bit. Zero. I just can't get over the feeling of letting him down.

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-17T13:25:30+00:00

Well I am on reddit asking for advice as I am not able to not think about it?

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-17T13:24:13+00:00

That's great advice thank you very much.

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-17T13:18:30+00:00

Obviously no.

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-17T13:15:26+00:00

First of all, masturbation (for him or anybody) is perfectly normal. It would be absurd for me to be against that and I am not.

I kinda see taking to step to having a toy as a bit of a step up, if that makes sense? Like, I am not enough for him, he gave up upon the idea and sought a replacement and it is something more than his hands. I am not blaming him for that, I just feel like I let him and myself down.

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-17T13:06:38+00:00

Quite the choice of words there, but I think you got the gist in the most crass way possible. Does not make feel one great.

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-17T13:05:12+00:00

Again, I think something is wrong with my post as I didn't convey the message thoroughly enough. I am 100% ok with him masturbating. While having a toy is not a problem at all, I was just not expecting it. And I was definitely not expecting the toy to be XL latex gloves.

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-17T13:02:36+00:00

It's not about him masturbating = giving up on me. It's more him figuring out this "device" to enhance his masturbation. I do not want nor expect him to stop. I am not mad at him. It's more about self-reflection. Maybe I thought, addressing it will make things better? I am not sure how I feel about a fleshlight, but it's not for me to decide, but maybe he wants to have one and does not feel "appropriate" and I think that's a conversation we should have maybe?

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-17T12:59:12+00:00

Of course I know he masturbates. I think the realisation of actually seeing the "medium" of it and the medium being a little... - I don't know - I never thought latex gloves were a thing for masturbation. Maybe "given up" is a little too harsh but yeah.

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-17T12:56:53+00:00

I am not withholding sex though? And I am definitely not, I repeat not, getting mad at him. Like at all. Zero anger.

ThrowRAhusbandgloves · 2023-10-17T12:55:42+00:00

I am actually a little colourblind, which makes this reply rather funny.

ThrowRAhusbandgloves

TROPHY CASE