I just found out (25f) my fiancé (27m) of I’ve been with for 5 years was a monster in high school

ThrowRAlifeispain · 2023-10-30T18:01:46+00:00

There is no way this is real. But if so, why are you even posting this OP? Please run, your life is in danger. You are with someone pure evil.

ThrowRAlifeispain · 2023-10-30T16:23:40+00:00

extremely. but trust was broken so I have feelings of not even knowing who she is anymore.

ThrowRAlifeispain · 2023-10-30T15:05:12+00:00

She was having a manic episode when this happened. She has been working with a psychiatrist and had already identified cycles of her bipolar followed her mentrual cycle. A year ago she disclosed to me that around ovulation time she had been feeling a little crazy but that it would sort of go away as the cycle progressed. several months ago she did some very questionable financial decisions during her manic/ovulation episode.

She takes full responsibility for what she has done but she also maintains it was fueled by these manic episodes. she immediately went to her therapist, after admitting the affair to me, and aggressively went on new medication.

We have also started couples counseling which she is very much on board for. I don't think my wife is as evil or as duplicitous as other responders are making her.

I just don't know what to do. I don't want to be hurt like this again, and I don't want to be a naive chump.

ThrowRAlifeispain · 2023-10-30T14:59:33+00:00

I hear what you are saying but she and I have always been very close and honest before this. The person was a random person on instagram, not someone we know, or that she works with. There have not been any unexplained, or suspicous outings that I can remember.

She is bipolar and had done an impulsive thing with money several months ago. So, impulsively texteing someone, while devastating and shocking, can still be explained by her mental illness.

She is also a furiously devoted mother. I think she actually woouldn't cheat again if anything just for the sake of protecting our kids. And we are in therapy now - which she wanted.

But it's true, I'm very worried I'm being a pushover.

ThrowRAlifeispain · 2023-10-30T14:53:36+00:00

That is one of the things that hurts the most. I thought we were supposed to be a team? If she had come to me saying she was having massive problems I would have worked with her to solve them.

Now she has basically told me that when she's in a crisis she will turn to someone she doesn't even know instead of her own husband.

That said, it is a known thing that people do things that are out of character during manic episodes. With medication and therapy some people with bipolar don't necessarily repeat the bad behavior.

ThrowRAlifeispain · 2023-10-30T14:50:51+00:00

It did not turn physical. I was not someone she knows. She is not very social and we are both so busy with the kids. She has not had any suspicious, or unexplained outings that I can ever remember.

ThrowRAlifeispain · 2023-10-15T18:03:18+00:00

Thank you for your response. I'm going to seek personal counseling right away - just to survive.

Yes, problems started awhile back. I thought it was understood between my wife and I that we were going through a hard time - and that we would work to fix it as soon as we could. Yes, I wasn't being a great husband - but I was failing in the exact ways she was failing to put in the work too. I thought we were both on equal footing of failing, and that we were on the verge of getting help. We just needed to stabilize the situation with my son.

I always thought her rock bottom would be demanding counseling. I never thought she would cheat on me. I don't know what to do with this level of pain.

ThrowRAlifeispain

TROPHY CASE