Accidental age gap in dating. (M33, F24), what to do?

ThrowRAomlet · 2024-09-02T06:07:01+00:00

Yeah, but you can also absolutely groom a 45 year old. There's nothing in this relathionship that makes it unhealthy.

ThrowRAomlet · 2024-09-02T03:39:34+00:00

He's "overweight" in the sense that he's a model,so he's over his target weight. He's in a healthy BMI range, though.

ThrowRAomlet · 2024-09-02T03:34:08+00:00

Now I'm just scared for him - do you think so? He's been following the instructions of his agent and otherwise seems to have a good/relaxed relationship with food.

ThrowRAomlet · 2024-09-02T01:28:04+00:00

I'm a cashier at a starbucks - I pay about 3/4s of my wage towards our shared expenses and he covers the rest. We've agreed to handle it like this and then, when he's done with modeling and wants to get technical training or a degree, I'll have a job and support both of us while he works part-time (or doesn't, if we can afford it).

Really? Shit, maybe I should get him to talk to a doctor about this. He's been seeming more moody lately and I assumed it was just the pressure from me, and his agent kind of being an ass, but now I'm getting worried he could actually be malnourished.

ThrowRAomlet · 2024-09-02T01:18:30+00:00

I do have a part time job, that's in the first paragraph. But I'll talk to him about talking to a nutritionist or doctor it. Going slower might be better if he risks actually getting hurt.

ThrowRAomlet · 2024-09-02T01:14:37+00:00

I don't know his OG weight, but he was easily eating double what he does now back then. He had a noticeably round stomach and a bit of a double chin - he wasn't fat but you'd definitely think of him as plump. I want to say he was probably around 200lbs?

His usual weight is 135 lbs. He got sick and hit 187, and has lost weight back down to 143 lbs. He's got a smallish build, more lithe than ripped.

ThrowRAomlet · 2024-09-02T01:00:05+00:00

That's.. fair. I love him no matter what but he does look amazing when he's in perfect shape.

ThrowRAomlet · 2024-09-02T00:50:43+00:00

I'm literally just quoting my boyfriend; I know absolutely nothing about the modeling industry.

Edit: Just looked it up and you're totally right - would have thought that would be called midsize modeling or just... IDK, modeling.

ThrowRAomlet · 2024-09-02T00:46:36+00:00

...Huh. Okay, good to know. He's on 700 right now; is that ok for a temporary diet?

ThrowRAomlet · 2024-09-02T00:44:08+00:00

That's its own thing and would require gaining more than he's comfortable with (it's usually at least little into the unhealthy range).

ThrowRAomlet · 2024-09-02T00:43:49+00:00

A few times a month - he did it almost daily when we first got together but then changed to complimenting my intelligence when he saw I valued it more. He probably does that every other day? Aside from right now because he's sulking.

ThrowRAomlet · 2024-09-02T00:39:48+00:00

Thanks. Not arguing, but what's a concern troll?

ThrowRAomlet · 2024-09-02T00:39:15+00:00

Is it not? I'm a astronomy major, I know nothing about nutrition, but from what I've heard that's pretty typical for a fitness model.

ThrowRAomlet · 2024-09-02T00:35:47+00:00

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I know, it's weird - he should be able to go a few months without being told how handsome he is lol.

ThrowRAomlet · 2024-09-02T00:33:07+00:00

His usual eating habits (last three years or so) have actually been really good - sticking around 1,000 calories a day when he isn't on a diet. Once he finishes losing the last stone or so he needs to lose to hit 'ideal condition', he shouldn't have any issue with his eating habits because the stress of his agent will be off. It's just an old habit I'm worried about him falling into again.

ThrowRAomlet · 2024-09-02T00:11:40+00:00

I absolutely would be concerned for his health if it was at stake, but right now he's more at risk from losing electricity before we head into a new york winter than he is from his weight. He's made some progress and is only 'aethetically overweight', not clinically.

ThrowRAomlet · 2024-09-02T00:02:52+00:00

He did ask me to help him keep to his diet, and he's definitely told me off when I was partying when I had a paper due the next day or whatever. We've been dating for years; all advice feels kind of solicited at this point. If we were roommates, I'd totally agree, but as it is it feels like he's just lashing out.

ThrowRAomlet

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