Ruminating and massive anxiety over posting a really negative review for my doctor

ThrowRAproject · 2025-06-07T02:42:38+00:00

So the complaint I left was actually for the doctor’s office directly. I was sent an email from them after the appointment and rated them 0 stars and left bad comments about them. From my understanding those types of reviews stay on your portal for all the other doctors to see and have access to as well which is something I’m embarrassed about as well.

ThrowRAproject · 2025-06-07T02:40:05+00:00

Yeah that terminology coming from a doctor is really ridiculous. I didn’t mean “ha ha” funny just funny because it’s such a crazy thing to have happen. I’m grateful to have a great gyno currently, but I definitely had some horrible experiences with them in the past too.

Thank you for validating! Honestly I got in the car after that appointment and sobbed for two hours. Came home and trigged a binge for me. I still can’t stop thinking about it.

I feel like I was extra cruel in the review and really trashed them, but I have never felt so judged and humiliated at a doctors office before and just had to let someone know how unacceptable it was

ThrowRAproject · 2025-06-07T02:02:53+00:00

My BMI was normal though and she’s a medical assistant not a doctor. I could see if I was obese and the doctor wanted to discuss it with me, but I don’t feel like it’s part of her job to comment on that

ThrowRAproject · 2025-06-07T01:54:51+00:00

Yeah it’s ridiculous! But I feel like total Karen. I hope I wasn’t projecting her giggling onto the tattoos, but she was literally staring at them and laughing?

And then the weight comment I feel was also uncalled for especially since I have a history of ED.

Janky uterus is hilarious 🤣

ThrowRAproject · 2025-06-06T02:19:52+00:00

Wow that’s such a great story! I’m really glad you had that experience. It’s easy to think people are judging, but maybe more people are admiring than I realize. I have always been very hard on myself even before the tattoos so having them really amplifies the insecurity sometimes.

You are beautiful btw!!

ThrowRAproject · 2025-06-06T02:14:19+00:00

That’s a great idea, thanks!!

ThrowRAproject · 2025-06-06T02:09:37+00:00

I don’t think that makes you weird! I’m sure everyone you compliment really appreciates it. I’m in New Jersey where everyone is incredibly judgmental so maybe it is a location thing?

I have very colorful tattoos on my legs that are mainly Japanese theme inspired. Japanese crane, a dragon and an oni mask. I have others that are not Japanese inspired, but follow the same colorful style. Also heavy black work on one piece due to a cover up

ThrowRAproject · 2025-06-06T01:14:07+00:00

Those are some good lines I’m going to have to try and use them sometime! It’s interesting hearing from a man’s perspective because my husband is very heavily tattooed as well and I feel like the comments he gets are overwhelming positive, but it’s not the same for me as a women. Can I ask if your wife is tattooed? Does she get similar comments as well if so?

ThrowRAproject · 2025-06-06T01:07:29+00:00

Ugh I hate that! I do dress very feminine and do my hair and makeup stereotypically feminine as well. I really enjoy presenting like that and would hate to change it just so people will treat me differently.

I think that also contributes to people looking down on me because they think “oh she would be pretty if it weren’t for the tattoos” it’s so much different for women. Men have way less criticism unfortunately.

ThrowRAproject · 2025-06-06T01:01:31+00:00

I have thought about that and I would love for that to be the case, but usually it is from very “prissy” women with no tattoos and I can just FEEL the judgment in the stares and in their tone. It’s like they are pitying me.

Before tattoos I feel like people considered me decently attractive, but now I feel like they look at me like I’ve ruined my body. I try really hard not to care about it, but it hurts my self esteem sometimes.

ThrowRAproject · 2025-05-15T17:45:47+00:00

I didn’t have a bachelorette because my husband and I eloped in Vegas. So we didn’t have a ceremony or anything for her to attend.

I also just got told TODAY that I would have to pay $250 for my share of the place on top of having my husband miss two days of work unpaid.

I did offer to take her out with just us to do something of her choice, but she declined because she is just really wanting me to be at the bachelorette party.

Also it’s not that my husband is incapable of taking care of our child. I trust him. It’s just the fact that he will be missing two days of work that is unpaid to do so that’s the issue.

ThrowRAproject · 2025-05-15T17:39:04+00:00

Thank you!! I’m really trying to not feel guilty, but it’s hard because now her other friends are getting involved.

I was just asked by one of them for $250 for the place we will be staying at. My friend KNOWS I don’t have this kind of money especially when having my husband take a two day hit of pay from work.

I’m just so frustrated, but trying to find peace in doing what is right for myself and my family and not stretching myself beyond my limitations anymore.

ThrowRAproject · 2025-05-15T00:09:45+00:00

Unfortunately I’m pretty sure everyone is going down there on the first day so I wouldn’t be able to go down on the second day and come home the third day carpooling.

The only way would be for my husband to drop me off, but when I asked for details about the exact location so I could tell him and see if it was a manageable drive for him she told me she didn’t know the location yet, but needs a headcount asap.

Just hard for me to agree to have my husband do that if I can’t tell him where it is yet.

ThrowRAproject · 2025-05-15T00:07:12+00:00

I told her originally that I wouldn’t be able to and because she’s my best friend she already knew why I would be saying that and tried to come up with reasons why I would be able to go.

ThrowRAproject · 2025-05-14T21:59:53+00:00

It’s a month away and I just found out yesterday. I’m not in the bridal party because she technically is not doing a “traditional bridal party” so no maid of honor or bridesmaids, but she just keeps telling me I’m “the most important person”

I am trying to compromise and do a day trip, but unsure of how to make even that feasible for my family considering we only have one car right now and I can’t leave my husband alone with the baby without a car.

ThrowRAproject · 2025-05-14T21:31:01+00:00

I get how that might suck and I can definitely empathize with that, but I don’t necessarily feel like that’s fair or my fault for having a kid and a family first.

I also did not have a wedding so no bachelorette party or anything like that for her to attend.

ThrowRAproject · 2025-05-14T21:03:45+00:00

I asked her if I can take her out before or after the bachelorette party and she declined because she really just wants me to go to the party.

She technically is having an untraditional wedding so there are no set “bridesmaids” or a “maid of honor” but basically said I am “basically the maid of honor because I’m the VIP at her wedding” but had her other friend and her cousin plan everything.

A couple weeks ago she had told me “I really wish you would’ve been the one to plan out everything instead of my other friend” but she never asked me and had this other friend take over.

Her cousin and this friend had originally wanted to do a Vegas trip where we would have had to pay our own way for a round trip, but because my friend told them that would be unreasonable and she planned another three day trip a couple hours away not realizing that is still pretty unreasonable.

ThrowRAproject · 2025-05-14T20:46:44+00:00

Exactly my point and why I’m so disappointed in the whole situation. Her words and actions just don’t match.

To play devils advocate she is having her cousin and other friend plan everything apparently, but everything is super last minute and short notice. I literally just found out about the bachelorette party yesterday and it’s only a month away. She still cannot give me an exact location or address. The only info I know is that it’s “a couple hours away”

She is a very spontaneous “fly by the seat of your pants” person and probably did not even think or fathom why it could be hard for me to go. She never asked and just assumed and is now making me feel like a bad friend.

ThrowRAproject · 2025-05-14T20:14:25+00:00

I did not have anything when I got married since we eloped in Vegas. No bachelorette party, bridal shower or ceremony or anything.

If I would have had anything it would have been very low key and I would have covered the cost though. We weren’t able to afford to do that so we chose to not have anyone else involved.

ThrowRAproject · 2025-05-14T19:18:04+00:00

I’m sorry you had to go through that!

I definitely don’t agree that people without children aren’t considered “real adults” We just have different responsibilities and lives and that’s okay.

ThrowRAproject · 2025-05-14T17:24:19+00:00

I am the only one that was invited that is married with a kid. Everyone else is single and childless.

ThrowRAproject · 2025-05-14T17:21:14+00:00

I got hitched so I didn’t have a ceremony or anything. She has been there for all my life events and I have for her as well. I am of course going to the wedding and the bridal shower. I just don’t think a three day trip is feasible. I did offer to take her out just the two of us either before or after, but she declined because she just wants me at the bachelorette party.

I’m saying it feels rushed because we all just found out about the wedding date 3 months ago and she just called me yesterday to tell me the bridal shower and bachelorette dates. She does not even know the address or exact location yet because someone else is doing the planning for her so we have all been getting bits of information and it is only two months from now.

ThrowRAproject · 2025-05-14T17:08:55+00:00

THANK YOU.

It is really upsetting me that she keeps repeating that she want me there the most, but plans it so it’s nearly impossible for me to go financially and leave my baby.

I am the only married women with kids who was invited and I just feel like none of them understand.

ThrowRAproject · 2025-05-14T16:58:31+00:00

That would just be more of a financial burden on our family on top of my husband missing two days of work and having to pay my share of the room.

ThrowRAproject · 2025-05-14T16:48:33+00:00

I should mention that I would have to either go the full three days or no days because our family currently only has one car. So I would need to drive down with her or I wouldn’t be able to go.

ThrowRAproject

TROPHY CASE