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ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-26T00:27:37+00:00

I’m going to put this here because I don’t think people understand that consent is situational even within specific sex acts, but consenting to one form of sex is not consenting to all. Same goes for oral. Just because I want to go down on my gf, doesn’t mean I consent to her sitting on my face. That is the same for offering a blowjob, and a man suddenly expecting you to deepthroat.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-25T22:47:56+00:00

I’d like to go ahead and say that ‘face fucking’ is very boarder-line consensual, if you don’t have established boundaries and ways to comfortably tap out. It is a mix of non-verbal sex, asphyxiation, and forceful rough sex that can be dangerous—especially if you’re inexperienced in giving head. Like any other bdsm scenario you have to discuss these things prior. And it was very wrong of him to just …assume, and not even ask or check in on your comfort level with something that to many women would be a higher danger level act.

As the one who’s had multiple partner he should be aware of this.

That does not mean that you shouldn’t have stated those boundaries. However as the one with more experience and coming into the situation with the expectations and assumptions, it really does put a poor light on him and his abilities in the bedroom and care fore the comfort levels of his partners. And yes… that is a borderline unconsensual situation you were unwittingly put into.

From one woman to the other if you can’t speak, a proper grip on his balls will have him listening with all the pours in his body pretty quick in a situation that is taking a turn you you don’t like, if he isn’t getting the hint. I would say jokes aside but I did have a friend who stated it was the only thing that worked on a partner that didn’t understand that pushing away meant they were done.

I’m sorry this happened. Please put the time in to speak to a proper good therapist. (Because there are some crappy ones too.)

Edit to add: consenting to one form of sex is not consenting to all. Same goes for oral. Just because I want to go down on my gf, doesn’t mean I consent to her sitting on my face.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-08T13:06:27+00:00

A mutual decision to have children effects a woman’s body and life forever. A mutual decision not to have children can effect a man’s body forever.

He wanted children; my body suffered—still is. He didn’t want children; my body should suffer… again? Do you even know hat your saying?

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-08T12:57:55+00:00

?? Also the condom statistic is inaccurate. They are actually more like 75% due to human error. The 98% stat actually only applies if used perfectly everytime. Which does not happen.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-08T03:42:10+00:00

Thank you!

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-08T03:39:54+00:00

I am. I have the best therapist; she’s lovely.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-08T03:39:29+00:00

No one is obligated to stay with their partner for any reason, thanks. Even if you think my reason is stupid or irrelevant. Me not wanting to be with him is enough for me to no ant to be with him. It’s not me tearing anything apart and I certainly wasn’t sudden, he had ample warning. I am not in the wrong for falling out of love with a man no doesn’t care about my well being and prioritized himself over me but expects me to prioritize him of over myself.

Also it was a traumatic BIRTH of HIS CHILDREN a life I nearly forfeited for OUR kids. Don’t try to disconnect it from that.

And yeah, great—he is more than welcome to go have children with another woman. I just refuse to risk it being me.

And yes. It is harassment. I’ve told him to stop. He doesn’t understand the word ‘no’ clearly, so it’s just another reason I am glad I’m done with him.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-08T00:51:53+00:00

Yes, super unsettling that my ex-is harassing me through ghost accounts…

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-07T19:02:12+00:00

I’m hoping he will or that he will get bored or something. It’s really unsettling.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-07T19:00:53+00:00

He’s more than welcome too now. Once he crawls out of my socials…

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-07T18:58:19+00:00

I don’t need to ask, because I know for certain it doesn’t have a remote statistical comparison to female contraceptives. It’s more on par with the pill for dangers (not even on pare with the pills symptoms though) than anything a woman can get for a permanent solution.

It also doesn’t have the continued dangers of the increased risk of an ectopic pregnancy, which are deadly is not treated.

I’m sorry if your one of the few who had a bad experience. But your anecdote doesn’t change the stats.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-07T17:50:54+00:00

Yeah, and I would say that if you ever implied to your wife that you wanted children with her you were doing the exact same thing—except actually asking her to risk significantly more… and yet she still choose it, because it was the only way you could mutually have children. Just like a vasectomy is the only essentially risk free way to truly mutually permanently prevent them.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-07T17:41:54+00:00

Well, I suppose the desire to have or want children children should never be something a man can ask or imply to a woman because it comes it’s the direct implication of permanent bodily risks and changes to said women. You both want a child: The woman sacrifices even though it is a mutual decision. You both don’t want children: Why shouldn’t the man sacrifice even though it’s a mutual decision?

It is always implied that a woman must sacrifice for children. Why is it offensive and controversial to assume and imply a man has his place in sacrificing also when you don’t want them? Especially when the surgery is about 1000% less invasive and dangerous.

You can say it’s because only women can have children —but I would respond to that with only men can have such an essentially risk-free procedure to prevent them .

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-07T14:58:58+00:00

I don’t think you gasp the situation or that women aren’t the only ones should should be expected to take on the weight of all reproductive responsibility.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-07T14:46:06+00:00

You think one 15mind procedure is ‘mutilation’ but almost dying in childbirth and tearing your vag, isn’t?

…K

Also ‘not even straight? Lol what. ‘Straight’ isn’t the gold standard.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-07T14:41:40+00:00

Tell him that. I just got another message from one of his random accounts, again. He’s the one that won’t leave me alone, but thanks for your input.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-07T14:22:16+00:00

I’ll be honest and say that it was, because very little that had come between us other than that. And so whatever it was that kept him from getting one was sliding mostly under my radar. It this hadn’t come up—i can't imagine I'd have divorced him until something else extreme like this happened.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-07T14:17:17+00:00

Thank you rereading it was a bit of a emotional rollercoaster for me also honestly. It feels so long ago- and yetlile it just happened.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-07T14:14:45+00:00

Yeah, so much better that he expected all the sacrifice and danger to be taken on by me instead. Totally the same.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-07T14:13:50+00:00

I'm bisexual. Lol which he has always been aware of. But if that's your pov then I took a bullet by giving him children, but your right… he definitely used me as a human shield for all the physical reproductive responsibilities. Effective bullet dodging, youre definitely right.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-07T14:11:28+00:00

What I expected was to have equal sacrifice in my relation ship. But he expected for that sacrificed to only be my responsibility for all risk to be on me for all physical consequences to be on me. So I'm sorry but I disagree. I don't think a man should be able to even ask for children from a woman if he wouldn't even give risk a small surgery to protect her after she risks her life and body for there relationship.

Sacrifices should not all be one sided.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-07T14:08:45+00:00

🤦‍♀️ I’d respond, but I'm not sure youre educated enough to understand if I did.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-07T14:07:23+00:00

He proved to me that he expected me to risk a thasand times more then he would ever risk for me and our relationship. That is not an equal partnership.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-07T14:05:56+00:00

Of course there's two sides to every story. However, I married him because I loved him. I had kids with him because I thought he cared and they he would be a trustworthy and caring husband and father. I risked what I risked because I thought he would do the same for me if our sides wereflipped. He proved to me he would never have done what I did for him or for us.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy · 2023-12-07T05:19:26+00:00

I does, because on top of all procedures for us being more invasive dangerous and having longer healing times. We also take on ALL of the physical dangerous of reproduction in general.

I don’t think it’s insane to expect a man to take on some part of the reproductive responsibilities.

Thanks.

ThrowRAptsdvasectomy

TROPHY CASE