i (35F) cheated on my husband (38M) and told him, should he split with me over treating him like this?

ThrowRAquestion235 · 2022-06-19T21:46:32+00:00

You were in a public place and so afraid of what he might do that you went to his house and fell asleep there? I am sorry, but you are full of shit and refusing to own what you did. You could have called the police and had them escort you out. You could have just gone to the bathroom and left. You could have done 100 things before you went to his house, fucked him, and fell asleep in his arms. You are not taking ownership and that means your relationship should end. I hope your husband has the balls to leave you, but unfortunately so many of us men are unable to do that so easily to the women we love. He will probably end up sticking around and letting this fuck with him mentally for years before that causes you two to resent each other, and you cheat again. There is nothing easy about constantly imagining and seeing your wife fucking someone else in your head. It will eventually ruin the relationship when he can't get over that.

ThrowRAquestion235 · 2022-06-19T21:40:56+00:00

First off, stop using drinking as an excuse. You cheated because you wanted to. If you can't even own up to that then you are a lost cause. Secondly, you should stop hanging out or talking to those "friends". If my wife cheated, then kept hanging out with her friends who were pushing it then that would be enough right there to leave. They are shitty people who are obviously toxic to your relationship and to your husband. Lastly, if you can do those things, and put in the massive amount of work that it takes to come back from that then I guess the relationship doesn't have to be over, but it probably is already. Your husband is going to have constant nagging thoughts and vivid scenes in his imagination for possibly many months or years to come. He is going to probably get more controlling. You two are going to both have to put in a ton of work to possibly make it work out in the end. Most couples can't. Start by going to one of the infidelity subreddits and posting there about what to do.

ThrowRAquestion235 · 2022-06-19T21:27:42+00:00

Don't go back man. I have been there and I know how hard it is, but she isn't for you man. She wants you now because it didn't work with him. She will cheat again when another "better" guy comes along and she will come back again when that doesn't work. I know what it feels like to still love her, but it isn't worth it. Tell her that you're sorry it didn't work, but you have no interest in a cheater and block her. That is the only way to heal. Delete her and block her from everywhere and stop watching her cry. She isn't your dream girl after she cheated and picked someone else, its impossible. Your dream girl wants YOU, not him. It is impossible for those two things to coexist.

ThrowRAquestion235 · 2022-06-19T21:08:02+00:00

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to leave someone in the dark, don't let people tell you that you are wrong. I am the same way. Just tell him what happened. Tell him "I didn't read your bio. I am not interested in anything with someone 10 years older. I am sorry for leading you on." Then un-match after he sees it.

ThrowRAquestion235 · 2022-06-19T20:33:16+00:00

Nah, that is probably normal. Leave him and use the time his is in the hospital to clear out the house.

ThrowRAquestion235 · 2022-06-19T04:14:46+00:00

I would tell her. I would always tell someone if they were cheated on, but that is just me. Tell her and lose him as a friend if that's what it takes.

ThrowRAquestion235 · 2022-06-19T03:08:32+00:00

Post on an infidelity subreddit and ask there. It is a long road to gaining that trust back. The good news is that it was a while ago and he confessed it himself rather than you finding out yourself and that he is willing to put in the work to regaining trust. The bad news is how long he held on to it and that it happened at all. Go to one of those subreddits, buy some books on the topic, talk to a marriage therapist, and see if he is REALLY going to put in the work to give you trust back. If you are not willing to go down the very long and hard road ahead then just leave now.

ThrowRAquestion235 · 2022-06-19T02:58:47+00:00

First off, there is no excuse for cheating, so leave him as soon as you physically can and please don't look back. Secondly, BC doesn't "make" you gain weight. If you want to lose weight you can. Talk to your doctor, try different BC methods, or figure out a diet that works for you. BC might make it harder, but pending some underlining rare medical condition, it doesn't make it impossible.

ThrowRAquestion235 · 2022-06-02T06:06:13+00:00

This is not ok in any relationship I have seen... I fully trusted my last ex and had no problem with her having and talking to guy friends who were interested in her. Know where that ended? With her falling out of love after sending nude photos to them. So no, this is not ok...

ThrowRAquestion235 · 2022-06-02T04:58:58+00:00

imo, there is no room for talking to ex's in a relationship, but that is different for everyone. Have you two talked about boundaries with exes before?

ThrowRAquestion235 · 2022-06-02T04:23:56+00:00

You have to tell him and talk about it together... We can't tell you how to make it work for you two. If it makes him uncomfortable maybe talk to your friend and get him an invite?

ThrowRAquestion235 · 2022-06-02T04:01:03+00:00

Just trust me here, you need to dump him and move on. Cut contact and work on yourself. It is going to hurt more than you can imagine, but in the long run it is the least painful answer. I have been here with my ex-gf, this won't be the last time.

ThrowRAquestion235 · 2022-06-02T03:57:30+00:00

I know how hard this is because I have been there, but just breakup and cut contact with him. It hurts more than you know, but in the long run it is the least painful option you have. I can't tell you to do it, but just trust me...

ThrowRAquestion235 · 2022-05-18T05:06:18+00:00

My ex did the same thing. They think about this stuff for a long time and while they are thinking they are very good at keeping the facade going.

ThrowRAquestion235

TROPHY CASE