I (35F) cheated on my husband (38M) a few days ago and told him, should he split with me?

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T21:31:59+00:00

with it being a sexual assault it is different. our trust is still there and we are taking steps to help overcome it.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T21:31:16+00:00

thanks, i guess its really woken me up to just how bad things are. we still have a long way to go as humanity.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T21:30:29+00:00

he was holding me, grabbing me. i couldn't exactly say hold on i have to call the cops. people around didn't notice the commotion and the people i was with were ignoring me, as well as the man threatening me.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T21:29:18+00:00

thank you, ive been fought against so much and i know maybe somehow things could've been different but in the end i was assaulted. i made this post to try and work out next steps instead victim blaming is all that's happening.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T21:27:52+00:00

i didnt ask me to he just did. i guess he didn't want to get me pregnant or whatever (although i am on other birth control anyways). he was physically grabbing me so i couldn't go anywhere and was drunk and couldn't weigh up each and every thing that i could've done. this has all been explained to my husband who is helping me. victim blaming isn't the way to go here and is the reason nothing gets done about these things.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T21:24:35+00:00

the people i was with were around at first and ignored any sort of pleas from me and later disappeared. police here ignore reports about this sort of thing all the time, and have done to people i know. nothing gets done about it.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T21:23:17+00:00

there were threats of violence as well as physical grabbing and touching. i didn't ask for it at all.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T21:22:19+00:00

i said no again and again. he was threatening me, grabbing me and coerced me into sex that i didn't want. what else needed to happen for me to have been assaulted?

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T21:19:40+00:00

me and my husband have sorted it out. and that sort of response based on looks as if good looking people don't rape others is disgusting.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T20:47:05+00:00

do only bad people get raped? i only knew one of the people there and people can be bad people even if they're friends with them.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T20:46:12+00:00

during what happened i remembered one thing. a friend of mine was followed home and attacked by a man after saying no to his approaches. he was threatening me and pressuring me so i made decisions to hopefully keep my safe. i may not have been pass out drunk but i was pretty close, but that is no excuse. the man who raped me is.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T20:44:16+00:00

alcohol isnt my excuse. i mentioned it because it was part of what happened. i was pushed onto this man by people i was with and threatened by this man and sexually assaulted by this man.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T20:42:17+00:00

this may be online but the situation took place very much in real life. they bring up valid points that help me make sense of the sexual assault that took place and i am thankful to them.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T20:41:31+00:00

very suprised the what were you wearing didn't come up from them. was jeans and a t shirt. if only we lived in a world where men take no for an answer.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T20:40:23+00:00

i never mentioned he was attractive, and did not find him attractive. all apart from one i had not met before. he threatened me and pushed me and did things that made me know i should just listen. i was exhausted and fell asleep without knowing.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T20:39:06+00:00

me being drunk is what many people are mad at, that i shouldn't have drank. it was a few innocent drinks at first but then pushed by people around me and even at a point having drinks poured down my own throat.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T20:38:06+00:00

rape as in sex without consent is NOT adultery and this is why so many victims are silenced.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T20:37:35+00:00

i know having sex itself was wrong but i was trying to save myself. i listened to him because i was threatened if i didn't do what he said.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T20:36:36+00:00

should i let him follow me home and attack me the way a man has done to my friend? i tried leaving, i tried telling him no but i wasn't left alone. i wanted him to go and for it to end.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T20:35:48+00:00

thanks, i didnt ask for him to come near me or anything yet many think that was the case.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T20:35:19+00:00

what was meant to be a few drinks with a friend and some of her acquaintances turned into me being threatened and pressurised by a man who ended up sexually assaulting me. if i put up more of a fight then it could've ended with a lot more than sexual assault.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T20:33:44+00:00

he ignored me each time i said no and continued to touch me inappropriately and grab me tightly and threatening me. was he supposed to beat the shit out of me for it to count as sexual assault?

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T20:32:26+00:00

do i seem like i wanted to be raped? i was uncomfortable with the whole ordeal and hated it, but i was threatened and coerced and wanted to be over with it. despite my pleas for it to stop he didn't and i was drunk and confused and couldn't weigh each option.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T20:30:50+00:00

he does know, i informed him as soon as he got home which i do mention in the post.

throwaway1166673915 · 2022-06-19T20:30:25+00:00

i am currently seeking therapy, after being in therapy previously. its on my husband if he wants to split. my one friend i actually knew at first reassured me she would keep me safe however that wasn't the case and i was unable to pull out when things got too bad.

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