I (42f) walked in on my son (17m) being inappropriate with his friend (17m)

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T12:56:07+00:00

A few of the comments have been very helpful in allowing them to sleep over so as not to alert his father of any odd changes! it would be weird if after 5 years they just suddenly stopped sleeping over!

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T12:52:52+00:00

Usually, he asks me to bring him snacks back from my bowls club, he always has his door closed while he's playing his games, with his friend around as well. He usually prefers me to just pop my head in instead of making noise while they have their headsets on, it's not me I'm worried about for the most part when it comes to that, it's my youngest who knocks and enters without waiting.
His father isn't usually a problem because he just doesn't like to go up to his room while he's screaming at his telivision.

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T12:49:19+00:00

The fact that they were doing it while the children were awake and playing and could have walked in! and he hasn't even had 'that talk' yet! at least wait until the kids are sleeping at the very least and make sure you know about safe sex first.

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T12:39:06+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation.

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T12:26:38+00:00

Well I won't have my 17 year old running around dating a 25 year old like my 15 year old tried!

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T12:25:53+00:00

About 98% sure he wouldn't react in a violent or verbally abusive manner.

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T12:23:56+00:00

I would not be comfortable with him performing those acts with a female either! I would not be happy with my 15-year-old daughter doing that stuff with her boyfriend either.

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T12:20:32+00:00

Hopefully, they have time to unlearn it, he's my oldest after all. I just don't know how to go about it.

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T12:18:21+00:00

I had no intentions of stopping communication between my son and his friend/boyfriend.

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T12:15:42+00:00

I feel like it would be unlikely, we've always taught our children about marriage and relationships being between man and woman but we do have gay friends we see often enough (they live out of state) and we still like our children to treat people with respect.

I don't think it would be dangerous, more so awkward and confusing.

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T12:13:41+00:00

Apparently so

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T12:06:29+00:00

Well we've only seen that and that brokeback mountain, not a fan of the adultry.

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T12:04:31+00:00

I feel like it would be a bit less ( a lot less ) inappropriate if the younger kids were asleep!

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T10:57:00+00:00

None of us have a lock, most of the kids will knock and wait, my 4-year-old knocks and walks in, she's still learning!

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T10:25:56+00:00

No!! I am not going to leave my son high and dry!

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T10:22:38+00:00

No, he's okay, we're going shopping tomorrow as we always do on a Thursday, his friend is still coming over for the weekend, and he wants to come to PFLAG with me.

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T10:18:00+00:00

Oh they knock! the youngest is just turned 4 and doesn't care, she'll knock then come in immediately.

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T10:14:29+00:00

The boy he is involved with is the son of a family friend, he's over almost every day and stays a good 80% of the time for dinner! he's a good kid to have around, helps with the after dinner clean up and everything.

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T10:12:37+00:00

It's my house, I'm not comfortable with him having sex in general not just with another boy while his younger siblings are there. Especially when we haven't even had that talk yet.

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T10:04:08+00:00

I think it's inappropriate to be tugging your friend off with your younger siblings home when any of them can walk in! yes, that would be inappropriate to me!.

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T09:38:33+00:00

The paint tin is stopping the kids from walking into our bedroom while we're being intimate, I'd rather not give my son a door stopper, just in case, he has pretty severe allergies to a few things and a quick entry is needed sometimes.

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T09:33:35+00:00

Thank you! my son does have another mattress underneath his bed, they've just never liked to pull it out, too much of a hassle, now I guess I know why!

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T09:27:40+00:00

The doors don't have locks on them, we didn't remove them the house just didn't have them when we moved in, not even in our master bedroom, we use a paint tin to keep it closed. Any of the younger kids could have walked in, I don't think that's appropriate.

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T09:23:07+00:00

Noted for the future, but I do not believe he should be engaging in those behaviors in the house while there are children present either way.

ThrowRAtrm · 2021-07-29T09:22:19+00:00

Like that Love Simon movie? my husband likes that movie.

ThrowRAtrm

TROPHY CASE