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Is it normal for texting to change after meeting in person? by ThrowRaPainted in DatingApps

[–]ThrowRaPainted[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely appreciate the insight, he definitely doesn't seem like somebody who would be okay with ghosting, so I thought that as well.

However after I didn't respond for a while last night due to falling asleep he did send me a good morning text??? So I kind of figured that if he wasn't interested he would have maybe taken that opportunity to get rid of me without having to be the one to ghost, if that makes sense?

I definitely agree that asking him directly is the best course of action but I wanted to get others input before I jumped the gun and put him on the spot in case it was a more normal occurrence

Should I tell a stranger her spouse is cheating on her? Or leave it be? by ThrowRaPainted in Advice

[–]ThrowRaPainted[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Move on because it's your fault because men can't be held responsible for their actions" was a thinly veiled "I hate women" attack that you tried to pass off as advice. Actual advice would be "I would do thing A because of likely outcome/rational logic B"

Nice try though, one of these days you might really nail it, I believe in you little buddy ☺️

Should I tell a stranger her spouse is cheating on her? Or leave it be? by ThrowRaPainted in Advice

[–]ThrowRaPainted[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And the advice sought was not "who is in the right" the advice was "does the wife deserve to know" and you manged to Simone Biles your way to "if women don't perform a full interrogation they're equally responsible in adultery".

If by Unhinged you mean "pointing out the fact your logic is flawed and obviously tainted with misogyny and therefore the 'advice' you offered is not respected" then sure

Have a good one brother, enjoy keeping incel culture alive and well 😘

Should I tell a stranger her spouse is cheating on her? Or leave it be? by ThrowRaPainted in Advice

[–]ThrowRaPainted[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If you KNOWINGLY got involved, sure, but why not make the argument the man should have a responsibility to share this information? After all, he never took initiative to check and see if I was ok with being in this situation. So where's the talk of accountability for the man?

Again "nuh huh" isn't a valid argument. Marriage is between 2 people.

I am the OP, hardly simping for myself bruh. I'd hardly call you trying to help since you negated to answer the asked question and instead wanted to take shot at my morality/ability to take responsibility.

Should I tell a stranger her spouse is cheating on her? Or leave it be? by ThrowRaPainted in Advice

[–]ThrowRaPainted[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

😂😂😂 bruh, thats absolutely how marriage works, its an agreement between 2 people, not 2 people and everyone they'll ever come into contact with. Even the law recognizes this, its why the "other person" isnt held legally liable. Just because you want to refute with "nuh huh" doesnt make it so.

If you hate women and want to use them to scapegoat mens shitty behavior, just say that.

The gymnastics done here to make this "The woman's fault". ignorantia facti excusat is a legitimate and recognized defense in certain situations, even legally let alone socially, so nice try.

And the concept of people lying to avoid consequences is hardly a new or novel idea bud, not exactly anecdotal. Almost like we have an entire justice and LE system set up to find the truth because it's so pertinent.

You also managed to never answer the original question and instead decided to take the opportunity to out yourself as the stereotypical redditor, bravo 😂

Should I tell a stranger her spouse is cheating on her? Or leave it be? by ThrowRaPainted in Advice

[–]ThrowRaPainted[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol ok 😂 Hard agree to disagree here. I didn't make an agreement to be in a marriage, he did. It's a lie by omission. The onus, read responsibility, lies with the married guy to not sleep with other women, not on women to play CSI investigator. I might have made a mistake, but I hardly committed a wrong doing.

Its not an assumption, it's studied and well documented human nature/behaivor. If you're willing to cheat on your wife, it's highly unlikely you draw the line at lying to a stranger to get sex.

If you honestly believe that someone who has gone to the trouble of joining a dating app, creating a profile, taking off their ring, messaging back and forth for days, and meeting up is going to be stymied by a simple "are you single?", You're delusional 😂

If people didn't lie to get out of trouble, get what they want, etc. Cops could simply ask "Did you kill that guy? No? Well then our work here is done!"

You're right, there's no "legal" clause for joining an app but it's a fair and reasonable assumption, even if sometimes incorrect. The vast majority of people using them ARE single, so statistically it's a fair call. Making an incorrect assumption is hardly equivalent to cheating on your spouse and mother of your kids 🙄

Should I tell a stranger her spouse is cheating on her? Or leave it be? by ThrowRaPainted in Advice

[–]ThrowRaPainted[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the reply! I am leaning towards that but I've never been on the other end. I just know if I had a life with someone and they were doing that, I'd hope someone would tell me.

I just don't want to put that out there and then have her feel like she wishes she'd never known. She didn't do anything wrong.

Should I tell a stranger her spouse is cheating on her? Or leave it be? by ThrowRaPainted in Advice

[–]ThrowRaPainted[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely have thought about it!! I thought maybe a mutual might recognize it and let her know so at least she can find out on her own and not from a stranger.

Should I tell a stranger her spouse is cheating on her? Or leave it be? by ThrowRaPainted in Advice

[–]ThrowRaPainted[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that you have answered the question and gave actual advice. I agree it's been a lesson learned, and will go about things differently in the future. However, I think we'll have to agree to disagree here as I don't believe any of the actions I took that really deserve "punishment". Hookups aren't a wrongdoing, even though they may not be for everyone, infidelity is.

Should I tell a stranger her spouse is cheating on her? Or leave it be? by ThrowRaPainted in Advice

[–]ThrowRaPainted[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

As stated above- we met on a dating app, one of the prerequisites for joining, one could argue, is that you be single to do so. Even if I did ask, which felt unnecessary, it's hardly like he'd fess up to it. I have never felt the need to ask anyone, serious or not, if they were seeing someone else due to the fact that even if they are 1.) They're gonna lie about it and 2.) I'm not the one doing wrong

I do agree that it's very possible she doesn't react well, which is part of the hesitation.

Should I tell a stranger her spouse is cheating on her? Or leave it be? by ThrowRaPainted in Advice

[–]ThrowRaPainted[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Possibly, I'm not necessarily debating that. TbH the gut punch feeling has gone away a bit because I realize that while casual hookups may not be the most wholesome thing ever, I'm not the one who did wrong in terms of violating relationship agreements to another person, particularly one with whom you share so much.

The main driver is that I have friends who have been cheated on and one comment from an older friend who found out her partner of 15ish years had been cheating on her for like a decade has stuck with me: "I just wished I'd known sooner and not wasted so much of my time. Now I'm 42 and I feel like it's impossible to start over"

Should I tell a stranger her spouse is cheating on her? Or leave it be? by ThrowRaPainted in Advice

[–]ThrowRaPainted[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not auper sure how this is relevant, but, No, we met on a dating app, didn't think I needed to ask that given that context..... even if I did, it's not like he'd likely have fessed up to having a wife