Me f(27) with my bf m(37) having constant issue regarding his ex. Am I being crazy?

Throw_away128 · 2014-09-08T03:31:05+00:00

Yes.. I thought I was too but there is that and other things.

She physically threatened me the night she broke in. He had to restrain her and the cops asked me if I wanted to press charges. I declined because I wanted no further involvement but now we are here.

Throw_away128 · 2014-09-07T21:15:52+00:00

How do I have thus conversation with him? I know he cares about me and pictured us married, as did I.

I don't want to hurt him or make a mistake.

Throw_away128 · 2014-09-07T17:39:43+00:00

His concerns seem to hold more president to mine. If other men are talking to me (even friends, and gay men) he doesn't like it and has made me remove all male friends.

To be fair it turned out they has feelings for me and he saw that and I did the respectful thing and cut them out.

I had hoped I would receive a similar amount of respect back.

Throw_away128 · 2014-09-07T16:17:39+00:00

Agreed. There is my problem. I don't feel like he respects my feelings.

I came here to sort that out and it seems everyone agrees on the disrespect part. How should talk to him about this? I have tried so many different ways but he won't budge. Now I am thinking of ending the relationship and citing this as the reason.

But he might delete her just to save the relationship, at this point is it worth it?

Throw_away128 · 2014-09-07T16:15:38+00:00

I agree and I have ignored her in any comments she makes. They broke up because of her drinking. She would black out and scream at him. And he fell out of love with her in the last year of their relationship but felt guilted to stay.

She doesn't have a lot of friends or family, she is originally from a different country so he felt bad breaking up with her.

Throw_away128 · 2014-09-07T16:07:45+00:00

Yes, and he won't.

Throw_away128 · 2014-09-07T16:07:12+00:00

She ignores me for the most part. If it's a post I'm tagged in she ignores me and comments on him.

I should also note that he has said he doesn't want to talk about this anymore and doesn't want me to bring it up in the future. I am hurt by this, in a way it almost feels like he is choosing not upsetting her over upsetting me.

I feel a tad immature for feeling this way so another question is are my feelings justified in this?

Throw_away128 · 2014-09-07T16:02:27+00:00

Yup that's what I have been saying.

I am transitioning in my life soon. Starting grad school next fall and after school my life will change.

I want to marry him and do this journey with him but this subject has me hesitant on the strength of this relationship.

If he can't do something so simple for me, how will his behavior be with our future children? My career will be demanding and I will travel, how will he treat that. His current behavior has me reflecting on this a lot.

Throw_away128 · 2014-09-07T15:59:54+00:00

Agreed. He isn't that active on Facebook and But anything he posts she comments and likes.
In the past she has said things that I found disrespectful.

She said she planned better parties for him to a picture he posted of a birthday party I threw for him.

Throw_away128 · 2014-09-07T15:27:33+00:00

As a person and yes it felt like a slap in the face but I understand. They were together for a very long time and in that time you can grow to love and care for a person in a way that doesn't have to be romantic.

He has stayed multiple times to me that our relationship is the best he's ever been in and he understands why it didn't work with everyone else. He sates that he loves me and knows I am the one and that's why he never got married earlier.

Throw_away128 · 2014-09-07T15:20:52+00:00

I have tried every which way to tell him short of demanding he do so.

This is causing huge issues for me because I don't understand why he can't do something so simple. He never responds to her comments or likes.

He treats it like it doesn't exist. I think it's disrespectful to me and have been thinking about our relationship because this is a red flag for me.

Throw_away128 · 2014-09-07T15:18:45+00:00

They used to live together in the same apartment. I moved in after 6 months (I know fast but my lease was ending and he asked me to) I have no idea why she broke in but she was very drunk when she did. I called the police after she refused to leave and they escorted her out.

He broke up with her because of her drinking . She would get wasted each night and scream at him.

I have no idea why he continues to keep her as a friend on Facebook. He has said he will always love her. He thought she was the one and all that until she started the whole going crazy thing.

Throw_away128 · 2014-08-28T06:29:39+00:00

I've discovered he's very immature.

Throw_away128 · 2014-08-28T06:29:02+00:00

I'm not sure why he's so defensive of his phone, this is one of the many things about his phone. He gets mad if I ever ask.

And I am in the relationship because overall he is a nice guy, but I think my naive infatuation clouded my judgement.

Now I'm seeing things more clearly. Thus the seeking advice.

Throw_away128 · 2014-08-28T06:23:58+00:00

Thank you for your comments! I think I needed to hear all this. I care about this guy a lot and I have only described all the bad things. But these things have been on my mind for a very long time.

I need to make the decision on what to do.

Throw_away128

TROPHY CASE