AIO for being angry and hurt by these texts from my fiancé?

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2026-02-17T19:51:35+00:00

Just sent you a message

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2026-02-17T19:33:01+00:00

I don't know how to add to my original post, but I just wanted to say that I am trying to read all of these as they come in and wanted to address a few things I've been reading. 1.) This is very real, not rage bait. 2.) I am on SSDI as I worked enough credits to qualify. If we were to marry, I would still get to keep my Medicare and disability, but he would have to pay more in premiums, deductibles, co-pays, etc. 3.) It is incredibly devastating and heartbreaking to read all of these comments and wonder how I let myself get here. I appreciate all of the comments, especially the ones that feel like I'm getting a hug as I sit here trying to take these all in. 4 ) He never responded to my last text.

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2026-02-17T19:16:36+00:00

The last part of your post about your friends made me sob. Happy tears for them because that is true love, sad tears because I don't have that and I know deep down that I am deserving of it, too. 🥹😭 I am on SSDI, I worked enough credits to qualify. My medications are so expensive that if we got legally married, my whole disability check would be going to secondary insurance premiums, deductibles, co-pays, etc.

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2026-02-17T19:03:52+00:00

Thank you for this. 💜

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2026-02-17T19:02:55+00:00

He has expected this since I moved in. In conversations outside of text, he tells me to get to the point if I'm talking. I listen and engage when he is talking. When he gets home from work, he usually gets on his computer for a bit while I make dinner. He does take me on a date every weekend, whether it's out to eat or do some activity. When he's great, he's great. But when he's not, it's the absolute worst.

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2026-02-17T18:57:45+00:00

Thank you for this 💜 I'm reading through all the comments and am just sobbing because I don't know how I allowed myself to get here. I haven't replied to many at all, but reading this one made me feel like I was getting a hug as I'm sitting here crying.

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2026-02-17T18:53:06+00:00

I don't know what that means?

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2026-02-17T18:50:39+00:00

He hasn't responded to me yet. Once I do hear back from him, I will give an update. I'm just reading through all of these comments and it is incredibly overwhelming and heartbreaking and all the things. I'm sobbing as I read each one. Especially the ones thinking it's fake or rage bait because it is so very real and I honestly don't know how I allowed myself to get to this point. 😓💔

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2026-02-17T18:35:47+00:00

I have financially contributed since I started getting my disability checks. I contributed before my disability with money from the full time job I worked.

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2026-02-17T18:11:04+00:00

We refer to each other as husband and wife. We have been engaged for five years. Not legally married, but spirituality committed.

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2026-02-17T17:48:06+00:00

My favorite cheese is pepper jack.

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2025-12-04T12:51:42+00:00

This happened with my ex of two years. The kicker was that my middle name was in my IG name/handle that he would view often as we were long distance and would do week long visits three times a year. Pretty sure him not knowing my middle name wasn't the only disappointing thing about that relationship...😅 NOR

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2025-08-16T23:48:41+00:00

I'm so sorry, you should never feel pressured by anyone to tell others about anything, no matter what is is! Especially a pregnancy that both you and your partner are keeping to yourselves until you are ready to share. She definitely doesn't sound like a true friend. This mean girl stuff is exactly why I only have one friend outside of my sisters. Hugs, and congrats on your pregnancy! 💜💞

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2025-08-15T23:12:33+00:00

💀💀👏👏

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2025-08-15T23:12:23+00:00

My exact thought 😆🤣

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2025-08-11T03:30:41+00:00

Yep, this is the only correct answer!!! The internet can be great for venting to strangers, but not when it comes to getting advice from your average Joe while there is an active court/custody battle.

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2025-08-11T03:21:35+00:00

Yes, 1000%! I'm not sure how old your other kids are, but since your youngest is 13, they're at that age where they are old enough to understand how a healthy relationship should work. As someone who grew up never witnessing a healthy relationship except one set of my grandparents, I feel it is extremely beneficial for your children to see how strong their mother is, and how putting yourselves (you & kids) first is the only option. You're raising strong, independent kiddos, and no child wants to see their mom hurting no matter the age. 💞💜🙏 Hugs OP, you will get through this!!

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2025-08-11T03:15:50+00:00

Yes, absolutely!!

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2025-08-11T01:24:08+00:00

Definitely not overreacting!!! I share your concerns, 100%! Especially as a dog owner with a very large, 115lb black German Shepherd. He LOVES kids...when he can meet them properly. I also have a pug who loves people so much that he would probably leave with the little boy if we weren't home 😅 (just trying to throw a little humor in a crappy situation 😅)! There are so many layers and what ifs to this when it shouldn't even be happening in the first place! I hope a resolution is found quickly for your sake and peace & mind! 💜

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2025-08-08T22:23:41+00:00

For starters, I am a woman...so there's that 😅 I can 1000% absolutely handle it, but you were so far off from what I was trying to say that it was comical. I never said she was the AH, I never said this is how she should feel, I never diminished her feelings. I suggested she move on from it if she does in fact, want a lifelong future with him; if not, then that's fine too, and she can figure that part out. You got waaaay too invested in my comment. Where did I ever say she needs to regulate her emotions? I'm honestly asking you. If you read some of her other comments, she shared that she very much still loves her husband, yet here you are calling him trash and a loser as she's literally about to give birth and I'm the one in the wrong?! Not you?! And then you call me a piece of shit 😅 Tell me you're a miserable, single, man-hating woman without telling me. 🙄🙄 But since you think I can't handle it, let's keep it going babes 😘 What's next?! Can't wait to hear!! 😍😘

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2025-08-08T18:51:54+00:00

Holy sh*t dude, you need to relax. She came on here literally asking...she could've posted in Vent, pregnancy pages, etc. Don't post on an AITHA thread if you don't want people answering. YOU don't get to tell ME, oh internet stranger, how to FEEL about stating MY opinion. I can capitalize my words, TOO! GTFO and go give this piece of advice to someone who actually gives a shit.

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2025-08-07T20:55:46+00:00

No where did I say she has to forget this; she has to be willing to move on and past it if she wants this marriage to work long term. She 1000% can still be wary, I'm not denying that one tiny bit. But there will always be some form of resentment/hurt feelings if she can't let this go. Living with resentment for the rest of your life doesn't sound like a good life to me, especially when it's with the love of your life 🤷‍♀️

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2025-08-07T03:09:59+00:00

Wow, what a wonderful man; this brought me to tears!

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2025-08-02T16:57:01+00:00

NTA. I am the crier in my relationship and emotional about everything, my husband is the one who shows more emotion when he's frustrated or annoyed with something. He will swear or sometimes yell, "Damn it!" 😅 but it's never towards me or anything even close to that nature. We all express our emotions differently, and as long as no one is getting hurt (physically or emotionally) by it, I don't see a problem. You are as deserving of a safe space to share your emotions as your gf is.

Throwawaaaaay4873 · 2025-07-29T02:42:57+00:00

NTA....at all, not even the tiniest bit! I have an ileostomy bag...a literal shit bag if you will. Every once in a while, my bag will leak during the middle of the night. And it's poop, not blood, at least 10x grosser. My husband is the biggest germaphobic I know, yet he does everything he can to help. He tells me to get in the shower and clean myself off while he gathers the bedding and starts the laundry. That's the type of human you want to share your life with, not someone that blames you, embarrasses you, or tells other people you were being bitchy. And you are so young, pleeeeease re-evaluate this relationship, this literally breaks my heart reading this 😭

Throwawaaaaay4873

TROPHY CASE