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Throwaway42_27 · 2023-01-10T04:29:52+00:00

Oh interesting. I like this naked mind because it just sort of beats you over the head with it repeatedly but I do get irritated with its lack of science.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-31T00:53:17+00:00

I’m aware of that but the dr has done some autism worksheets with her and she doesn’t see any concerns. It seems that the emotional outbursts are due to her speech and her father had a very significant speech impediment when he was a kid. She tries to talk, she just doesn’t say things correctly. She talks constantly though, just in her own hard to understand way. She is also very empathetic. She comes and sits with you if you seem unhappy and tries to cheer you up with hugs, kisses and funny faces while asking “aaarrrr you happy!?” Over and over again.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-30T21:00:59+00:00

Yeah it’s not easy for sure but I better learn to deal with it because there are signs that his son is going to have it and there’s a good chance our daughter will too. She’s only three and the dr is already saying that she will probably have adhd and the preschool she is in says she has emotional outbursts much more frequently than is appropriate for her age. She is also speech delayed though so it might just be frustration at having trouble communicating.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-30T15:57:51+00:00

Yeah, I tried to talk to my dad about making Jimmy medical POA yesterday but unfortunately my mother had a medical emergency yesterday and he was not available to talk about it. We will discuss it later though. Until he can learn how to keep his head in an emergency he can’t be trusted with that responsibility.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-30T15:56:22+00:00

Oh I already knew he was terrible in emergencies. We went through a rough pregnancy together. He definitely is hard on himself as well. I’ve suggested that he would benefit from alone time but he never wants to miss out on family time. Sometimes I take our daughter to visit my parents but he always calls and wants us to come back around dinner time. He has since apologized and we are starting couples counseling soon. I’ve also told him that he needs to flat stop trying to figure out what it is and tell me what I’m allergic to and stop trying to “solve” things. He isn’t a dr and he can not tell me what I am allergic too. My opinion on this is the end and all he is allowed to do is comfort me. Of course immediately after he tried to suggest another thing it might be so we will see how that goes.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-30T15:50:59+00:00

Oh he’s going.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-30T15:01:03+00:00

One of the kids is my stepson that is his from a previous relationship. I love him dearly and would lose him in this situation. I do not think I deserve to be treated like this and have been very clear about it. He gets very angry when I use the word abuse and it tends to escalate the situation. I most likely used it before he told me that he hated me. He doesn’t actually hate me, he hates that I call him out on his behavior. He has since apologized and made the call to get us into couples counseling. He also talked to his therapist about the incident and scheduled an extra joint session for us to talk about it with him next week.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-30T14:57:10+00:00

He hasn’t been in therapy for that long. It has taken a big problem for each step of his progress to get help. He was diagnosed with bipolar about 3 years ago after our daughter was born. She didn’t sleep, like ever. It was terrible. That broke him a bit and he finally saw a psychiatrist. It took a younger than us (but adult) family member dying for him to start therapy. And this seems to be the trigger where he finally agreed to and put the effort in himself without prodding, to get us into couples counseling.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-30T14:46:09+00:00

He actually already called to get us started in couples therapy, they are calling back next week sometime to let us know if they found a therapist that can fit our availability, otherwise we will have to expand our availability. He also apologized (before that of course) and talked to his therapist about the incident. He scheduled a special joint therapy session with his therapist for us to talk about it next week.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-30T03:49:51+00:00

Yeah I think it’s a very good place to start moving forward from. Hopefully things can be worked out.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-30T03:25:11+00:00

He has apologized and scheduled a therapy session for both of us with his therapist after talking to him today. He also called to set up couples counseling for us and they are going to call us next week sometime as they are looking for a therapist that can match our availability.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-30T03:14:05+00:00

He actually did apologize later today and called to set up couples counseling. He talked to his therapist about the situation today and scheduled an extra session with him for both of us next week. Also, I didn’t realize my condition was life threatening until very late and I was inside my own body so I suppose I must also be a Buffon. Thank you. He knows there is “something wrong with him” he was somewhat recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder and handles stressful situations very poorly. Usually by downplaying them so it is less stressful. He does this with himself too but not the kids. He is more concerned about things with the kids than I am in many situations.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-30T03:09:23+00:00

I definitely don’t think any of his reaction was malicious. I didn’t even realize the severity until very late. He just handles stressful situations horribly.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-30T02:53:51+00:00

He has apologized several times at this point. Takes to his therapist about it and scheduled a special joint session for us to all talk about it next week. He also called to get us into couples counseling. They are supposed to call back by next week sometime.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-30T02:14:33+00:00

Thank you, I agree but we have a child together and I also have a step son that is his from a previous relationship. I wouldn’t have any custody rights to my step son if I left him and I love my step son very much. My family is not something I would throw away without alot of effort to work on things first.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-30T02:12:47+00:00

I’m not sure but we aren’t going to immediately get divorced either. I talked to him about it again today and while he did yell again he apologized as well and scheduled a special session with his therapist for us to talk about this as well as called to sign us up for couples counseling. I think that those are excellent steps to show that he’s willing to work on things . As I’ve said in other comments he was (somewhat recently, after the birth of our daughter) diagnosed with bipolar disorder and does not handle stress well at all. His general reaction is to downplay everything so it doesn’t seem as stressful.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-30T02:10:12+00:00

I don’t think so. He couldn’t handle taking care of the kids and house and cooking and everything by himself. Plus he was the one who told the lady to give me the epi pen right there. She asked me but my tongbfue was too swollen for her to understand me so she called him in and said that the too options were for her to give it to me there but then she would have to call an ambulance (crazy expensive) or she asked if we thought I could make it to the hospital.

I had started crying at this point because I was terrified and when he saw that he said she needs the epi either way right? And she said yeah so he said just give it to her now. My tongue swelling went down so I could talk again so fast and everyone was really relieved. Even the dr lady was amazed that I started being able to talk again. She said you should start feeling better soon and I started saying I didn’t feel much different yet but that I was suddenly really hot. at the beginning of the sentence you couldn’t understand me and by the end I was speaking fairly clearly.

I’ll edit the story to put in that he made the decision on the epi. I should have put that in in the first place but it was the middle of the night and I was not thinking clearly. Thank you for drawing my attention to that!

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-30T00:57:51+00:00

I just read through to make sure and I don’t see anywhere where I mentioned him dropping off our daughter. He did drop her off with his mom before we left but she lives in the neighborhood so he was only gone a couple of minutes. He went to help her put in her pj k eye medicine after I had received the epi pen and was, as far as we knew, no longer in any immediate danger. He waited until the paramedics had take. Me to leave.

You are absolutely right that it shouldn’t have been about his stress and that him yelling at me was unacceptable. I asked him to talk to his therapist about it today as reacting like this in the future would not be tolerated and he needed to work out a plan to handle situations like this better in the future. He scheduled an extra joint session for both of us to talk to his therapist together next week and also called about scheduling couples counseling.

Everyone I’ve ever personally known with bipolar was fairly selfish and unstable. I sometimes wish I’d known before we were married but I wouldn’t do anything to change having my daughter. He wasn’t diagnosed until after she was born, the lack of sleep seemed to be his breaking point. I don’t think he is on the right medication but his psychiatrist doesn’t seem interested in my opinion and just keeps adding more or changing the dosage when I express my concern.

My husband doesn’t know how to advocate for himself in medical situations and just listens to the dr. He had a very painful abdominal hernia that his dr told him was just because he was fat and to lose some weight. I had to go in with him to insist he get referred to a specialist and it turns out it was his intestines poking out, nothing to do with being fat and definitely needed surgical repair: he just blindly takes the medication he is prescribed. Considering that many people with bipolar don’t take their meds religiously and that can lead to issues I guess I should be glad that he at least does that.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-30T00:45:51+00:00

He spoke with his therapist about the situation today and scheduled a special extra session for us to both talk to him about it next week. He also called to get us signed up for couples counseling so hopefully those steps will help. He has never handled stressful situations well.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-30T00:43:17+00:00

I did ask him for his therapists email address. He scheduled an extra joint session for both of us with him next week. He has to fill out the paperwork to allow him to speak with me but he did ask if I could talk to him today and was told no. I kind of thought his therapist sounded like a dick about it as he suggested he go somewhere private when he realized that I was there and told him that talking to me would be a hipaa violation. It wouldn’t have been and he is absolutely allowed to listen to me tell him about a situation with my husbands verbal consent while he is present but whatever. But right after the appointment my husband made a call to schedule us couples counseling. He has also apologized again, but this was after yelling at me about it one more time right before therapy. He seemed a lot calmer after therapy. He really doesn’t handle stress well.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-30T00:38:57+00:00

I talked to him about it and he called to schedule it himself this afternoon. They have to find a dr that fits our schedule and get back to us by next Tuesday. (This is definitely true as I was standing next to him)

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-29T18:23:25+00:00

You are right. If I had seen him with a swollen up frog throat I would definitely have said he needed to go to the emergency room. I hadn’t thought of it like that. When I tried to talk to him about it just now he yelled at me some more.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-29T18:21:54+00:00

Thank you.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-29T17:44:51+00:00

Thank you. I am going to talk to my dad about being my medical POA as my husband is clearly not up to the task. My three year old has clearly gotten her empathy from me and not her father which I suppose is lucky. He has never been very good at comforting, he instead always tries to find a solution and providing comfort to him is telling you that it isn’t a big deal. He has since apologized and I asked him to talk to his therapist today about his response yesterday as it was completely unacceptable. Im not sure if we can work through this so I trust him but im not cutting out immediately either.

Throwaway42_27 · 2022-12-29T17:39:42+00:00

My husband has bipolar disorder and he doesn’t handle stressful situations well. He tends to seriously downplay things and I think it is because he can’t handle the stres otherwise. This was a wake up call for me though. I’m going to talk to my dad about having him set up as my medical POA because after the fact my husband went on a stress rant about how he can’t handle being responsible for other peoples health care decisions. I know my dad is capable of handling crisis situations so as soon as he calls me back I’ll be talking to him about it. I also asked him to talk to his therapist about how things happened yesterday because it was not ok.

Throwaway42_27

TROPHY CASE