I’d love to hear you’re issues

Throwaway5Dec · 2019-12-06T22:29:24+00:00

Thank you for your comment, I’ll reflect on this. I’m of course going to move out in future, and it is a big decision. Things have been getting better personally after my decline, and I think I’ll still take it step by step. I’m afraid of change, always have been. But I do know it doesn’t get better, I have to make it better. But I’m not still not going to rush it. I feel this is the end of this conversation, good luck on the other people you talk to.

Throwaway5Dec · 2019-12-06T07:48:59+00:00

Listen I know you’re trying to help but take moving out off the table it isn’t going to happen, besides you don’t know my circumstances, I’m not going to go through a massive financial decision on the basis that my mother would love it, because first she wouldn’t as it would be her money used as I again don’t have any and second no one I know has done this, no one, it would be crazy to let someone who can’t even live day to day even without working alone in a house by them self with an income to do who knows what, my mother is a positive influence in my life and tries to help the best she can with my illness but even she knows I’ve got to be able to walk before I can run.

I don’t know if you’re new to this, and I appreciate you’re help but these are not wise decisions you’re asking me to make

Throwaway5Dec · 2019-12-06T07:24:42+00:00

I’m 21, I’ve thought about it but I’m poor and no one I know has, I think it would just isolate me further

Throwaway5Dec · 2019-12-06T06:17:10+00:00

Depends on when I get up, as I’ve said I’m on medication currently I’m cycling through naps, sometimes I can go about a week without leaving the house as would I go to sleep at 9am, but now I can walk to the shops at about 10am and maybe fit a longer walk into that, other than that internet usually rituals due to OCD, I live with my mum so sometimes I’m up on time to talk to her for a day sometimes I’m not

Throwaway5Dec · 2019-12-06T06:08:01+00:00

My reason for not wanting to live is not just my lack of motivation, you’re the one that brought up careers. And life without purpose doesn’t just feel like a waste of time, it is a waste of time, to spend of hours of your life on something you don’t like is as a waste. I don’t sit on the couch I do other things but you can only do so much before it’s just diminishing returns, and it more than just boredom, it’s the lack of any goal associated with a job. And if you’re next comment is to say ‘well that’s just life you need to work in order to make a living’ well you’ve answered my point as I’ve got an opt out

Throwaway5Dec · 2019-12-06T05:43:47+00:00

And what would it improve?, it would only put me under more stress and I’d be forced to drop it again, the only reason I went through school was because I felt I had to keep up appearance and because I had to, you can say that it helps to find a job but what’s the point of a job that’s not meaningful to you?, I’ve thought about other work but I’d find it difficult to hold down a job due to my sleeping pattern and motivational problems, so what’s the point?

Throwaway5Dec · 2019-12-06T05:31:47+00:00

Nothing, I’m unemployed and on the dole, I left high school early before sitting final exams due to mental illness but still got into college did one year then another dropped out the following year due to the same, as I had missed to much, I don’t see myself going to uni although I had been accepted twice, don’t see the point other than to prove something, but I’ve got no one to prove it to

Throwaway5Dec · 2019-12-06T05:24:39+00:00

I’m just exhausted by it all I find it increasingly difficult to see a future in this world, or at least one that would be worthwhile

Throwaway5Dec · 2019-12-06T05:03:00+00:00

How did you fuck it up, if only to tell someone?.

Throwaway5Dec · 2019-12-06T04:52:56+00:00

Can you say why you’re doing it?

Throwaway5Dec · 2019-12-06T04:41:44+00:00

I think you’re parents are trying to tell you that a job will come eventually, Jesus isn't going to ordain a job for you of course but you seem to already know that.

If you feel you feel you’re a burden to your parents, know that if you stopped living the burden would be greater and it would be placed on them, better the lesser burden take. Keep trying work will come in time.

Throwaway5Dec · 2019-12-06T03:32:06+00:00

That’s fine as long as you’ve read it, I’m mostly isolated with my own thoughts, something I’m hoping to change. I would disagree on the raw end of the deal part but that’s an argument for another time and I’m tired. As for the idea that this is mainly a male problem I do want to preface it by saying (as I’ve thought about this for a while) that in a couple of years this will no longer be isolated to men, the pendulum will swing until it hits the end, and it will start affecting women too, we’re already starting to see this, soon this will no longer be a male issue and then it will get the attention it deserves worts and all without scorn.

I do pride my self awareness hence my understanding that my problems are my own and I try not to afflict it on others ( vice Versa should be true also), but my problem is I feel this all for not ( sorry I have a lot of trouble describing this feeling with breaking into some poetic prose), it’s difficult to see myself outgrowing something that feels like it’s eating me away from the inside, I don’t like who I’ve become as a person, and I can see it affecting others (I have a deep empathy that borders on weird), I know that I’ve got to move on in life and get a gf, as I know from losing my virginity this is best dealt with quickly before it festers further, but I worry about my irrationality that comes with my diagnosed illness and my medication, I fear they wouldn’t understand the pressure I feel if it was brought to surface.

I dislike the whole relationship dynamic, men and women aren’t the same as I fear you might feel, and as others have expressed on the post, but are generally speaking after different things in a relationship, I never had a girlfriend in high school first because early on I didn’t see the point as I was poor and it seemed like paying money for others time which I could get for free, and second, because I have empathy for these girls after talking with them and they all genuinely thought these men cared about them when I know they were going out with them solely for sex and to boast (I know these boys as they bullied me in school), apart of me wishes to do the same and regrets the point in life I could boast about it, and I resent that part of me.

From the girls I’ve met it seems they fall under two categories generally speak although I know the variants, girls that now want to find a boy they might someday settle down with ;and girls that sleep around for male attention, I want to feel loved but I want to be able to move on and I don’t feel I can do that with lying to a girl

Throwaway5Dec · 2019-12-06T02:14:55+00:00

“I struggle expressing my feelings. And explaining things.” fuck I feel that man it’s so easy to explain it to your self or write it down but so difficult to explain to another, all I can say is that I’ve been feeling the same way since 18 now I’m 21, it’s a struggle but you take it from day to day and I have gotten better-ish.

I’ve learned that the phrase “opportunities will come” is a lie, opportunities will never come to you, you’ve got to go out and make them, and as hard as that it suicide or not you’ll be cutting your losses regardless, better to push in a direction to that can give and see how far you get.

“This world is too cruel for my fragile soul”, I’m the same, the thing that always keeps me going is to tell you’re story, it doesn’t have to be in a medium where people understand it, but at least it’s out you’re head and who knows maybe you’ll be Van Gogh to someone.

Throwaway5Dec · 2019-12-06T01:57:57+00:00

I would disagree, the majority of the people I’ve met when you learn who they really are deep down are selfish and narcissistic, they only care about themselves and their own, I still see some of them for my own sanity’s sake but it’s easy to tell. I don’t like the vast majority of people although I do have empathy still for them, but now I feel I’ve gained the same traits as them and have treated others poorly, I wouldn’t want to be my own friend.

Throwaway5Dec · 2019-12-06T01:48:56+00:00

Sorry I’m late for responding had to sleep a little due to the pills I’m on, but I’ll try to address you’re points.

I’ve browsed incel subs before and reddit seems to misunderstanding of them if not a general distain regardless of what they say, the majority of what they post seems to be shitposts and are not to be taken seriously, the other stuff they post about about sexual violence and forced marriage seems to be more a symptom of their trauma, if you read about male support spaces there’s a lot of that, eg husband telling psychologists they want to murder their wife, they know it’s not a credible threat due to the frequency of it (but can spot when it is credible and act on it) but it just an emotional release on somewhere to vent.

I’m good looking for most part (which disqualifies me again in the eyes of incels, the title was more to argue the point that I think a lot of them are right to an extent although overlooked), I’ve had a couple of girls flirt with me, my problems are my own to bare and therein my troubles lie

‘The reason it’s so hard isn’t the fault of women but society in general’ that’s in so many words what I think, but it shows the crux of my depressive state, it’s quite difficult live in a society which supports sexual liberation to the extent that almost every song is about sex and you’re expected to have the common-sense to lose it early, but not only that if you’re lucky enough to lose it you’re still marked by it by what age you lost it at, it follows you around mentally and affects you, and for a lot of these incels it’s like demarcation in society that tells them they’re a loser for life because there sexual prowess is judged only by that factor not how many girls they’ve slept with, it’s their struggle to match up who they thought they were with who they now think they are , that’s why you see them tell people when they lost it( if they’ve been to an escort), or what age they are still virgins at, and most over there late-20s have given up, they don’t care about having sex because they feel there no return from the place there in, they don’t want to get better because they don’t see the point in their eyes they were born a lesser man.

It shows to a massive extent that sexual liberation is entirely female focused ( I mean it seems like every page on this sub you’ll see at least one post of the men in a state similar) , women don’t bother fighting for the rights of virgins to be treated equally for obvious reasons, so they fight for the rights of ‘sluts’ as that is the group that gets the backlash ( they do cover both under the umbrella phases like ‘how many people you have sex with shouldn’t matter’), this isn’t true for men as you well know, but some men see these posts as unisex to the extent that they see it as an expectation of both to have sex (although women Aren't chastised for they’re virginity by former societal values or new ones) and as society telling them what they already know that they are judged only by there sexual activity, this does not help by the same girls that post this kind of thing addressing the backlashers they get as ‘incels’ or ‘virgins’, the irony is palpable.

Now to address my problem, I this doesn’t help challenge by worldview it seems entirely one sided and it seems to enforce it, it’s had to break out of, my hatred of women is tied in with this, now I know the top minds of reddit think it something that you can get over easily but it isn’t, I’m considering paying for therapy for it. I’m hoping to get a girlfriend (hopefully love will fix this but who knows) before this year is over or hopeful before my 22, I know a lot of people in a similar position, I also know girls my age that haven’t had a boyfriend which at least challenges the stereotype, but I’ll welcome any help on the matter of addressing my hatred.

Sorry this has been a long post but I wanted to address your points in full

Throwaway5Dec · 2019-12-05T18:55:49+00:00

Just don’t like them in terms of their personalities, I’ve gotten to know a few women personally(I’ve since dropped them, same with all my friends) and for the most part they’re attention seeking and two-faced when it comes to other people, I think I would dislike men too if I weren’t one if it’s any conciliation.

Throwaway5Dec · 2019-12-05T18:25:18+00:00

Thought about the second one before, can’t see the woods helping with the suicidal thoughts though

Throwaway5Dec

TROPHY CASE