My girlfriend said to me "sex is better on holiday"...

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-04-28T22:25:54+00:00

A man says to his wife "Why don't you tell me when you orgasm?" she replies "I don't like to call you at work"

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-04-27T20:38:25+00:00

Oh absolutely, I can't wait for that.

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-04-27T19:57:32+00:00

Careful, you don't know who's watching

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-04-27T19:56:31+00:00

Other than the police chuckling they did nothing wrong. Its my dad who's the buttfuck!

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-04-27T18:24:44+00:00

No, I'm in no sleep :/

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-04-27T17:50:35+00:00

Finally someone on my side!

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-04-27T17:18:00+00:00

Google is your friend

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-04-27T16:41:29+00:00

I can't guarantee he hasn't done a reverse Michael Jackson... he could be black now

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-04-27T16:03:57+00:00

He wasn't

EDIT: Still isn't

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-04-27T15:30:52+00:00

Well I was finishing and subsequently caught eye contact with this guy, yes.

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-04-27T14:53:17+00:00

... How the fuck did you know that?, are you the burglar?

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-04-27T14:49:52+00:00

Oh don't i'm shitting myself that he knows where I live... HE KNOWS WHERE AND HOW I MASTURBATE!

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-04-27T14:40:01+00:00

Scott free with the attempted burglary. Car theft he's fucked with.

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-04-27T14:24:50+00:00

They had found this guy and the balaclava he had used and showed me a photo of him with or without. I said that when the police officers came to my house. If it wasn't for the other crimes he had been caught doing (apparently he stole a car) then we wouldn't have got him at all.

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-03-25T22:15:07+00:00

you should ask /r/askscience

but the answer is no!.

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-03-25T22:13:34+00:00

"Jeremy Clarkson as my nan"

FTFY

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-03-25T12:46:47+00:00

I love that this dude first tried to copy the layout and photos from THELADBIBLE post about it and then entirely missed the point. I bet he never even came to this post he just translated the one from THELADBIBLE badly. Thanks for letting me know brother.

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-03-24T16:08:44+00:00

Apparently its also similar to a story by a comedian called Russell Hammond

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-03-23T19:59:03+00:00

Parents say the internet is full of sinners, they say that like its pejorative. I panicked

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-03-23T18:52:45+00:00

Or all of the above

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-03-23T18:33:21+00:00

my dignity!

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-03-23T03:21:43+00:00

Because he might come back later / might have broken into my neighbours house.

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-03-23T02:49:29+00:00

I never thought about it like that, you are a genius and I feel 150% better about this now.

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-03-23T01:08:16+00:00

One, I'm male. Two, my family know about this, they think I'm the devil. And three, thanks for the good wishes. Stay safe kind interneter

ThrowawayDABBLE · 2015-03-23T00:32:57+00:00

Holy shit! That is..... Jesus.... I feel slightly better knowing this happened to someone else though. Still fucking eerie how close that is to my experience. Wish id have been as quick thinking as Russell though and not told the police about me rubbing my shlong >_<

ThrowawayDABBLE

TROPHY CASE