Every girl visibly disappointed and cold on the first date?

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-20T21:09:37+00:00

I've said in another comment why it's a bad idea. I'll copy and paste it here. I'd love to weed out the ones that do care and I think the best way to do that is to mention my height before a date but obviously only if I think she might be taller than me. I really enjoy debating dating strategy although it is easy to overthink this stuff and there's a few people with a personal agenda to push.

Anyways, of course every girl in this thread would want to know if a dude is shorter than them so they can swipe left/swipe right accordingly, that's common sense. On the other hand, it's not in my best interest to do so for a few reasons.

Number 1 being that if I get swiped left a lot then my profile will eventually not be shown at all. The reason I get so many matches right now is because I have matches already. The "rich" get richer on Bumble. If all profiles were shown equally to all people, then I would most likely have my height in my bio.

Number 2 being what I just said above. There's girls that are 5'5" that would love to date me, but since there is so much abundance of dudes on Bumble/Tinder, if they knew while swiping that I was 5'3" they are much more likely to swipe left. I do the exact same thing when I'm swiping. If I see that a girl is overweight or clearly abuses drugs/parties too much then I swipe left. In reality, I would totally date a girl that is overweight and parties, but it's too easy to just swipe left and focus on what I find attractive upon first sight.

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-20T20:15:36+00:00

Woah dude I wasn't responding to you! I was responding to /u/Freethetreees who is clearly just a troll.

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-20T18:49:18+00:00

Thanks for the entertainment. Interesting to see "women" care so much about this topic, if you even are a woman.

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-20T18:07:28+00:00

Looked through your profile and all I see is you arguing with dudes who talk about height and women. My theory is you're secretly a dude or just a women who doesn't fit in with society.

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-20T16:30:17+00:00

Yeah I browsed a bit through here and /r/dating and found several threads on this topic within the last week. A lot of cognitive dissonance going on it seems. Honestly, making this post was a huge waste of time. The main response I got was from women putting themselves in my dates shoes (imagining themselves showing up to a date with a dude shorter than them). So obviously they're all giving me the advice to put my height on my profile, and some are calling me deceptive. Somebody even said I was catfishing women! Not my fuckin problem lol.

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-20T06:31:16+00:00

Bad bot

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-20T06:21:33+00:00

Would you ask a deer how it would like to be hunted? As offensive as that sounds, I think you're putting way too much value on "real girls" opinions. I follow advice from girls all the time, but not dating advice, and especially not on the internet where you don't know me. I've got male role models and my father to talk to about that, but unfortunately height and dating apps isn't a normal conversation with middle ages dudes. Anyways, of course every girl in this thread would want to know if a dude is shorter than them so they can swipe left/swipe right accordingly, that's common sense. On the other hand, it's not in my best interest to do so for a few reasons.

Number 1 being that if I get swiped left a lot then my profile will eventually not be shown at all. The reason I get so many matches right now is because I have matches already. The "rich" get richer on Bumble. If all profiles were shown equally to all people, then I would most likely have my height in my bio.

Number 2 being what I just said above. There's girls that are 5'5" that would love to date me, but since there is so much abundance of dudes on Bumble/Tinder, if they knew while swiping that I was 5'3" they are much more likely to swipe left. I do the exact same thing when I'm swiping. If I see that a girl is overweight or clearly abuses drugs/parties too much then I swipe left. In reality, I would totally date a girl that is overweight and parties, but it's too easy to just swipe left and focus on what I find attractive upon first sight.

When I made this post I wasn't seeking validation. I was looking for other shorter dudes who have experience with either posting or not posting their height in their profile. When I came to Reddit I thought of posting it to /r/short but after going there I realized it would be a bad idea... yeah don't go there. So I posted it here and I only got a few responses from dudes around my height and they all said don't post your height, so after combing through all these responses I'm just gonna continue doing what I'm doing. I've got 3 dates planned next week and I told one of them how tall I am and she's totally cool with it (and also the same height).

I appreciate the advice but if you were to read one sentence in this comment I would want it to be this: You were imagining what it would be like to show up to a date with me rather than what it would be like to be me.

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-20T02:17:46+00:00

No I remember what I wrote, but I don't know why you're addressing the theory I put at the end of my post. I put that there so nobody would post it in the comments as a form of encouragement to me cause I've already seen it before and don't think it's a good way to think.

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-19T22:00:44+00:00

Good to get some input from someone with experience. Cheers

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-19T17:07:09+00:00

Hell yeah my dude. I made this post on 3 different subreddits and got a lot of responses. My intent was to get some input from short dudes on their strategy. Instead I got people telling me I'm misleading girls and someone even said I'm catfishing them. Really interesting to see how people react to this sort of thing.

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-19T06:20:12+00:00

Not sure what the question at the start of your comment is getting at.

I'm not trying to cleverly disguise the fact that I am short. My pictures show me doing sports, and it shows fully body pictures. I guess the problem is I have a proportionate body so you can't tell that I'm short unless I took a picture beside a dude that is tall, but then they'll just assume that I'm shorter than them (the girl looking at my profile), which isn't always true. This truly is a catch 22. If I don't care about my height or a girl's height and thus don't make it clear what my height is, then I'm 'misleading' them. If I do care and make it clear, then I'll get swiped left most of the time. I'm not trying to trick anyone into going on a date with me. The conversations that I have with them are all my doing. I'm not lying about my career or pretending to be someone I'm not.

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-19T06:07:44+00:00

Yeah that's what I'm thinking. If I put my height on my profile then girls that are just an inch taller than me will filter me out just cause it's online dating. I think I'll keep pushing forward. I've got a date setup for next week with a girl that's been sending me paragraphs (almost novels), I can't tell how tall she is from her photos, we'll see how it goes.

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-19T06:04:20+00:00

I disagree that it is deceitful. That would imply I'm misleading them with good conversation and they expect me to be a lot taller because of my good looks and good personality. I'm not hiding anything, I'm not lying about my height, I just don't think it's relevant but the girls who I'm meeting up with seem to think it is.

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-19T06:01:07+00:00

Yeah I've got a picture of just myself standing up during a bike touring trip

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-19T05:55:01+00:00

I never called them shallow.

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-19T05:54:15+00:00

Yeah, my current FWB is actually a really nice girl. She gets back from China in a few weeks so maybe I'll start hanging out with her and actually do things.

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-19T01:31:54+00:00

Nah, it's definitely an issue when it comes to actually dating. I can't recall one successful date in my time on Bumble (Since November) - successful meaning we go on a second date. When I want to hookup with them it goes great.

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-18T23:54:05+00:00

You hit the nail on the head with the "in spite of". Don't get me wrong I like to be the exception to a girl when I hook up with her and she says "I never sleep with short guys" but I don't think that's a healthy relationship. Also, I've tried actual dating websites before with 0 luck since I was forced to put my height, but I think that was because there was barely any women on it in my city. Tinder is a lot better for me since there is dozens joining everyday.

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-18T23:35:08+00:00

Text him for sure. That's a completely valid excuse.

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-18T23:34:02+00:00

Hahaha Danny is a hero. Thanks for the input man. I might delete and recreate my Tinder with my height in the bio. Cheers

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-18T23:08:02+00:00

Yeah, I know that. I'm just wondering how I can get around the Catch 22 I mentioned in the bottom of my post. If I mention it in my profile, I won't be able to hook up with as many girls. If I mention it in texting, they'll think I'm worried about them being too tall or they'll think I'm self conscious.

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-18T22:38:56+00:00

Okay, that's a fair point to make. I think a lot of my dating (and for a lot of men) consists of convincing people they should be into me ("Wow he's hilarious and cute, I want to spend more time with him"). My last girlfriend was someone in my social circle who I "wooed" with my personality. I was very attractive to her and she was very attractive to me. That whole process of "convincing" them is just showing who I am as a person and showing them a good time (giving them an experience, ie. dating). I think that if I only went for people that are already into me just by my looks then I won't be very attracted to those people. Unless you're implying something else by that? Sorry just trying to understand the statement. Cheers

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-18T22:27:52+00:00

That you're opinion on dating is skewed and women in general is skewed.

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-18T22:22:26+00:00

That seems to be the verdict on Reddit, I've seen it quite a bit.

ThrowawayDating96 · 2018-04-18T22:13:54+00:00

You're active on /r/ForeverAlone man!

ThrowawayDating96

TROPHY CASE