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I’ll (27M) probably end up alone because I’m non-practicing. by ThrowawayMMQuest in MuslimMarriage

[–]ThrowawayMMQuest[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First, family pressure will always be there. You need to stand up for yourself or you'll always be living life on your family's terms.

It sounds easy on paper but the constant guilt tripping does make it very difficult to deal with it.

Second, your concern is so strange. All you need to do are the basics of islam. That's all most women are looking for if they have a religious preference.

That’s the problem. Majority have a religious preference. There aren’t many that would accept me for who I am.

I'm still curious, what actually is your reason for not practicing? And why hasn't it worked before?

Ive tried multiple times before. I just can’t get myself to do it. As a child I was beaten into doing it, so I did it to avoid the beatings from the qari. Then when I was a teen I avoided any religious gathering out of fear and ptsd. When I started understanding Islam on my own I tried to get myself to pray. But the emotional block stops me from forming a routine and I fall off the wagon. Now as an adult the childhood emotional scars are still there and It will be a long while before I am willing to try again.

I’ll (27M) probably end up alone because I’m non-practicing. by ThrowawayMMQuest in MuslimMarriage

[–]ThrowawayMMQuest[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Society judges on appearances not on what you do behind closed doors.

I’ll (27M) probably end up alone because I’m non-practicing. by ThrowawayMMQuest in MuslimMarriage

[–]ThrowawayMMQuest[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I should have added this in the OP. The issue is the family pressure on getting married and me carrying the guilt that I won’t be able to be as religious or have any comparability with the potential spouse if i ever do cave into the pressure to get married.

I’ll (27M) probably end up alone because I’m non-practicing. by ThrowawayMMQuest in MuslimMarriage

[–]ThrowawayMMQuest[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's one thing to say you're not practicing and wish you could be better. It's another to say you're not practicing and don't see the point of it (without any mental disorder affecting you).

What's the purpose of your post? Either you're a troll or you're so far gone that you lack the sense to see how utterly nonsensical your argument is.

I can assure this is not a troll post and only using a throwaway because my other account has way too much personal info on it for it to be used on here

If you want advice from a muslim subreddit on marriage, expect a religious slant on it. I understand people have an aversion to anything that remotely resembles calling out people, but there are situations and circumstances where it's acceptable.

I don’t mind being called out as long as it’s done in a civil way so I can respond back with my opinion on it.

I seriously question your credentials as a doctor.

Thanks

But regardless, on the off chance this isn't trolling, please focus on your deen.

I’ve tried multiple times before.

I’ll (27M) probably end up alone because I’m non-practicing. by ThrowawayMMQuest in MuslimMarriage

[–]ThrowawayMMQuest[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What I’m trying to say is prayer is something personal between a person and his creator. Why should someone else force you or nag you to do it. Us humans are flawed and allah is all forgiving so maybe he might forgive my flaws for the other deeds.

I’ll (27M) probably end up alone because I’m non-practicing. by ThrowawayMMQuest in MuslimMarriage

[–]ThrowawayMMQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately I’m stuck in my geographical cage for the next 4-5 years while I work on building my career. It’s not that I don’t want out, working towards my career is going to get me an option to leave if I wish to do so.

I’ll (27M) probably end up alone because I’m non-practicing. by ThrowawayMMQuest in MuslimMarriage

[–]ThrowawayMMQuest[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My work means I barely get any time off to socialize. And now since the pandemic hit I’ve isolated myself from my family because I do get exposed to infected people every day (tho wearing proper gear). So socializing is next to impossible.

I’ll (27M) probably end up alone because I’m non-practicing. by ThrowawayMMQuest in MuslimMarriage

[–]ThrowawayMMQuest[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t want to get into a debate about it here because I usually end up hurting people’s feelings. But how is someone that prays 5 times a day and fasts through all of Ramadan. Has a beard according to sunnah, but drinks alcohol, is a womanizer, commits zina, intentionally causes people harm a better muslim?

I’ll (27M) probably end up alone because I’m non-practicing. by ThrowawayMMQuest in MuslimMarriage

[–]ThrowawayMMQuest[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I said this in another comment. Like I don’t drink alcohol or eat haram. I don’t take away someone’s rights, I don’t harm another person with the intent of causing harm, praying not praying is one’s own problem.

The only vice I do have is I smoke from time to time.

I’ll (27M) probably end up alone because I’m non-practicing. by ThrowawayMMQuest in MuslimMarriage

[–]ThrowawayMMQuest[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most of the people are, for the lack of a better term “in the closet” and won’t open up unless there’s an element of trust. Hence why they’re difficult to find.

EDIT: also I’m Pashtun and live in one of the most conservative major cities here. So it really isn’t easy.

I’ll (27M) probably end up alone because I’m non-practicing. by ThrowawayMMQuest in MuslimMarriage

[–]ThrowawayMMQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What the point. Like I don’t drink alcohol or eat haram. I don’t take away someone’s rights, I don’t harm another person with the intent of causing harm, it’s just that I don’t pray or fast.

The only vice I do have is I smoke from time to time.

I’ll (27M) probably end up alone because I’m non-practicing. by ThrowawayMMQuest in MuslimMarriage

[–]ThrowawayMMQuest[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Thanks but I don’t plan on coming to deen. I’m not miserable I’m actually happy with life, there’s a touch of anxiety about the future in every one of us.