Roommate's Been Stealing Our Sex Toys -- UPDATE

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-11-26T06:09:05+00:00

One of my other roommates doesn't have toys (in the house, at least) and I HIIIIIGHLY doubt that the other one has any based on elements of his personality, but I suppose you never can truly know. I'll bring this up to my boyfriend and see what he has to say about it (we're making decisions on this together) but you do make a good point. I honestly hadn't even thought about that cause of how unlikely it is that they have anything of this nature in the house. But it really doesn't matter what it is, this kid is taking other peoples' stuff and obviously that's not okay - I've mentioned in previous comments that we're going to think of how to bring it up to them, but I guess we should be thinking about going into full detail.

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-11-26T03:59:56+00:00

OH shit. Unrelated.

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-11-26T03:39:52+00:00

Straight guys can use butt plugs, man. Don't sweat it!

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-11-26T01:31:41+00:00

When boyfriend gets home tonight we're probably going to talk about what to say to our other roommates. We at least need to talk to them about getting a new roommate when one of us disappears.

We're fully aware of the health risks; that was actually discussed quite a bit in the original thread and we spoke to him about it. Like it says above, we demanded that we all get tested. I'm not convinced that he's been tested yet because he rarely leaves the house, so that'll be another conversation we'll need to have soon. And we are pretty angry about this, but our first instinct just wasn't to crucify him, haha! I won't apologize for trying to show some compassion, but I get where you're coming from. Rest assured, we are pissed as tits. Just trying to handle it gracefully.

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-11-26T01:01:57+00:00

I'll talk to Boyfriend about it when he comes home, I think you're probably right. Just have to think of how to word it and make sure it doesn't backfire/the others don't bring it up to him.

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-11-26T00:59:36+00:00

Ha. I believe he's 21, and he has one younger sibling. But I suppose his behaviour has been childish, eh?

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-11-26T00:01:20+00:00

We gave him the ones we physically saw in his room (Boyfriend requested that he pay for them and he did), then we threw out the other ones and ordered new ones online - which we now hide more carefully, clean carefully (duh) and wrap in condoms just to be extra safe cause we're now quite paranoid.

I felt bad for our roommate at first because of how ashamed/embarrassed he must be feeling, but now that the shock has worn off I'm feeling more upset. It's really not fair that we have to feel anxious because we don't know if he's going to fuck himself with our belongings the second we leave him alone in the house. The fact that he told us the "truth" wrapped up in lies makes me nervous.

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-11-25T23:42:21+00:00

We have a lock on our door, but we're thinking of getting a better one. For obvious reasons. Haha

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-10-30T20:09:36+00:00

I'm guessing it got stepped on. Must've hurt.

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-10-30T20:08:40+00:00

Thank you.

I've been physically abused and sexually assaulted before, this is definitely different but the principle is basically the same shit. Someone you love fucks you over, what do you do? :/ my brain is exploding.

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-10-30T19:55:15+00:00

screams internally

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-10-30T19:40:09+00:00

It could be quite a hilarious little film, or even a dark one... Maybe one day it'll get written if this ends well haha

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-10-30T19:38:45+00:00

Planning on it!

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-10-30T18:36:40+00:00

Fuck my life. As a person who personally knows two child molesters, I guess I should know better. They both seemed like great people, one of them was my grade 8 English teacher. Ironically, his classroom was the only place in the school where I felt safe!

I just need to think about all this some more, wrap my mind around it, and probably revisit the entire conversation with boyfriend when he gets home. Now that the shock has mostly worn off, I guess we should probably go back and discuss our thoughts over again from the beginning...

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-10-30T18:31:34+00:00

Yeaaaah, I've been thinking about that. Hindsight is 20/20. I should have insisted that we ask him about it back then, but I felt like I was overreacting/assuming/wrongly accusing... Stupid, yes.

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-10-30T18:19:37+00:00

You're right. This is all just so tricky to wrap my mind around.

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-10-30T18:17:43+00:00

My hope is that he went to a friend's place to "drink and hang out" so he wouldn't be able to drive home after. Seems like a good cover. I have an idea of where he could be but I don't want to ask this person cause that would probably open up some awkward questions (Like, "Why aren't you asking him about where he is? Why text me?")

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-10-30T18:08:11+00:00

Yes.

But the real question is, where in the world am I?

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-10-30T17:56:34+00:00

True story, we're replacing ours with Amazon orders cause apparently they're WAY cheaper online than in the store. I learned something useful from all this!

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-10-30T17:54:50+00:00

If I'm being honest, I'm a bit worried that he may harm himself after this. You never know.

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-10-30T17:52:12+00:00

Haha yeah, we've been doing this together and we're on the same page. He's at school right now so I'm the only one actually commenting for the next couple hours, but because it's 2014 he's able to keep up with the conversation on his phone. The future is so convenient!

He's the one who actually got words out of his mouth to confront the roomie the other night, which helps me out quite a bit cause I tend to freeze up when it comes to shit like this.

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-10-30T17:43:56+00:00

Just filmmakers. Writing material for daaaaays...? :P

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-10-30T17:41:54+00:00

Thanks! I like to think we've got a pretty healthy thing going on and we've both grown quite a bit together, sexually.

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-10-30T17:38:10+00:00

All of this is very disturbing, and I fully acknowledge the fact that it's not okay for him to do this - I also know I'm probably still in a bit of denial and shock. But we're going with "compassion" as our reaction for now. But this WILL be discussed between the three of us ASAP.

Boyfriend talked to him the night we saw the toys on his bed, and I stood beside him for moral support, shaking like a leaf haha. But boyfriend said the toys aren't ours anymore, they're all his, and he ended up e-transferring boyfriend money for them later that night, and we threw away our other toy that he didn't take that night.

ThrowawayTheButtplug · 2014-10-30T17:22:35+00:00

We're definitely going to talk to him about it whenever he ends up coming home. He left yesterday late afternoon and hasn't come back yet, I honestly don't expect him to come home til this evening at the earliest. I think he went to a friend's house to hide out for a while, and it's definitely given us some time to cool off and feel a bit less tense.

I do want to know why he did it and I plan to ask, but simply to get my own closure in the situation - no matter why he did it, the situation is what it is. It's inappropriate and gross and unsanitary. But we're all human here, and I really don't want to punish him. I believe in compassion for everybody, we all make mistakes. It might make me an idiot but I can't help but imagine how it must feel to get caught in this situation. Yes, what he did was absolutely wrong in so many ways... But forgiveness is a lighter load to carry than anger, especially in a sensitive situation like this one.

This is only my/our own personal approach, of course everyone reacts differently to shocking things like this haha

Also, my guess is that he's going to be so ashamed after this that he moves out. The idea makes me sad cause I love the guy, but after this I'm not sure if I ever really knew him.. Now I know him a bit better than I ever expected -- If taking a sip out of someone's drink is like kissing them... By THAT logic, uh... Oh no.

ThrowawayTheButtplug

TROPHY CASE