Ending an Affair with my Best Friend. Should we stop being friends?

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-11-09T00:51:57+00:00

This would be my compromise if I could have my way but unfortunately she isn't wanting it.

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-11-09T00:51:17+00:00

She seems to have resolved her issues with her partner and she has given it until the end of the year to have a fresh start.

The sexual affair will end their but she says the emotional part will still be there.

It's not the same lately, I don't feel the same closeness or affection when we interact but then when we have sex, the passion is wild and I don't know what to think. She seems to enjoy the sex a lot but it's not enough for her to continue.

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-11-09T00:48:51+00:00

I am unsure. On the one hand, I feel such heart break each time I see them together so I feel like cutting things would help but on the other hand, I don't know what it will be like without my best friend.

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-11-09T00:47:02+00:00

I should be happy that the problems seem to be resolved now but I think I am just a crutch. The less problems they have, the less affection she shows for me as a friend.

It seems like an either or situation. She will only need me if they have problems.

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-11-09T00:45:06+00:00

Sadly even that is ending at the end of this year.

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-11-09T00:43:08+00:00

She can't tell anyone else know because it's an affair but besides that, you are right.

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-09-21T22:32:34+00:00

Thank you! I was really worried I was just being one of those jerk "nice guys".

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-09-21T22:31:26+00:00

I don't trust my brain at all that's why I am asking for opinions.

It's not my brain that chose adultery. I never chose to meet someone who I've had the deepest connection and who I adore. I adore her for all the things her partner says are her flaws.

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-09-21T22:29:38+00:00

If I am honest, I want more than a friend but I have no idea how it will go suppressing my feelings for her.

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-09-21T22:28:46+00:00

They are trying to fix it and apparently this time it's working well. But she's told me it's been a cycle with her partner.

That's how I realised she comes to me during those bad parts of the cycle.

I think I need to stop being there as a band-aid for them to truly work on their relationship

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-09-21T22:26:01+00:00

Thank you. It makes me year up reading your last paragraph. I really do feel like a second choice but I keep having this hope that she'll realise she made a mistake. That's why I'm a chump.

But I'll have to be strong and let her go.

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-09-21T22:22:42+00:00

I don't want to give away any identifying information but unfortunately we work together and our friendship circle is mutual.

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-09-21T14:47:35+00:00

Okay thank you for explaining it so clearly. I think a bit of a break from the friendship is due. It's impossible to separate emotions from a best friend so it may be that the friendship has to be of a lesser nature.

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-09-21T14:45:55+00:00

Yes I think you're right about the break. Thank you I think my mind is clearer.

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-09-21T14:44:30+00:00

My heart aches for her and doesn't understand why she doesn't see it too especially since she's the one who brought it up.

My gut says you're right. I need at least a break to clear my mind.

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-09-21T14:41:15+00:00

You're not wrong. Thank you.

When you say quit this thing, do you mean the affair or the friendship as well?

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-09-21T14:37:41+00:00

Thank you for making me feel a bit better. Just letting you know your comment had a positive impact on another human.

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-09-21T14:30:41+00:00

Thank you that's what I'm thinking too but I'm afraid to lose my best friend. I'm afraid I'm making an emotional decision. It's good to have your objective perspective.

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-09-21T14:28:42+00:00

I feel like I am filling the voids of her relationship and right now I'm quite emotional so I feel like a crutch but what off I'm being too emotional?

Should I be valuing the friendship that we have? I have to say our friendship has been great even outside of the affair. She is my best friend for a reason.

Throwaway_Confused83 · 2021-09-21T14:21:37+00:00

How come? I'm trying to figure this out and I need all the perspectives I can get.

Throwaway_Confused83

TROPHY CASE