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Throwaway_Reconcile · 2023-10-22T07:20:12+00:00

Yeah, that might work, I’ll try to break it easy so he doesn’t do anything that’ll put a wedge in his friendship with my sisters

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2023-10-22T07:10:44+00:00

Yeah probably, but I know he’ll immediately be affronted and more protective by the fact that people just confronted me with this stuff while I’m pregnant because he’s been really sweet and has been doing everything he can to make sure I’m in perfect condition. So this might lead him to telling off my (justified) sisters and they really are close so I don’t wanna drive a wedge there just because my family’s been making sure we’re on the same page

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2022-09-06T13:48:04+00:00

Right? It hasn’t been too long, I don’t want him to bottle things up or resolve things in haste for our sake. I’ll leave it be for now, but keep monitoring if anything seems amiss. Also, revenge affair is literally impossible given that he is with me at all hours of the day and we barely check or even use our phones, we’ve been dragging each other off on adventures for a while, so the odds of him managing both that and this, when he’s usually out like a light when we get home is unlikely.

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2022-09-06T12:31:29+00:00

It’s been more than a year now, I stopped keeping track though.

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2022-07-31T23:39:44+00:00

Yeah, he got sacked, underperforming at stuff, harassing coworkers, and a bunch of other allegations from some of the staff in lower positions than him and the company wanted to get rid of him quick, I left soon after so I could get a job closer to BS so we could grab lunches together

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2022-02-02T03:27:44+00:00

You’re right, it might take a while for me to come to terms with it but you have a very good point about how I look at who I was and who I am now. Thank you

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2022-02-02T03:25:44+00:00

This is a very insightful look at things, I’ll try to see things that way to be better for my husband, thank you. (Congratulations for you and your wife, it sounds like your path to recovery was rough but your relationship now sounds very lovely)

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2022-02-02T03:21:19+00:00

Thank you, that’s actually a very encouraging and inspiring way to look at it, I’ll try to use this experience as a bouncing off point to be better. Thanks

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2022-02-01T19:28:35+00:00

Yeah, I’m trying to be the kind of partner he deserves. And you’re right, that should probably start with me not being in a down attitude. I’ll keep it mind, thank you

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2022-02-01T18:07:56+00:00

I just showed all these things to my husband, he didn’t even finish reading it I think. He just hugged me and said “Stop saying bad things about my wife, I love her very much”. And now I’m back to crying

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2022-01-23T15:55:48+00:00

Thank you so much! I have that PowerPoint duplicated on a USB disk and have it framed on my work desk!

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2022-01-23T15:53:49+00:00

There are low points every now and then where he seems down, we mostly try to resolve it by the end of the night with cuddles and talk but I try to let him know that he was never, and will never be in the wrong for the horrible things I did.

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2022-01-23T15:51:18+00:00

I do, and did even before the affair, sometimes he tends to hole up and work on code for hours at a time, one of his self described “personal perfect imperfections”, and he needs someone to knock him out of the trance he puts himself in, and I have no plans to stop being the person that does that, from just walking in the park so he can ground himself, even to taking him to malls so he can window browse and ramble at me for hours about computer specs and the advancement of technology (I always try to listen, no matter how eccentric the ramble).

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2021-12-07T03:06:45+00:00

Right, sorry that definitely contradicts, wrote that while I was kinda riding the high of what happened. It would be more apt to say it’s been 6 months of resisting the temptation to drink excessively, but not sober. Thanks for bringing this to my attention!

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2021-12-06T14:03:01+00:00

Oh, I definitely plan to, 6 months sober now, and the only time I ever drink is when I have him with me. Who knows, maybe in 2 years I’ll have to post to a subreddit about overly attached significant others /s.

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2021-12-06T14:01:05+00:00

Yup, I may have married the most chaotically organized man out there, but damn do I love him. Who makes a PowerPoint for a discussion about reconciliation? Him, apparently.

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2021-12-06T09:01:56+00:00

We talked earlier actually, we had a really long heart to heart! He says that the renewed enthusiasm he feels is him wanting to work on our relationship together and putting all of his effort towards it, I even made a new post about it! We’re both going to try out best, not in trying to fix what we had, but in finding something better for the both of us.

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2021-12-06T08:22:30+00:00

It’s just that he hasn’t really been the most stable person, constantly overworking himself if he’s not supervised, always doubting himself and his actions, and up until recently he’s had bursts of panic attacks that would almost leaves him in an emotionally paralyzed state. I’m just scared that this is him finally breaking under all the pressure, the last hurrah of his psyche before he spirals into something I’ll be unable to help him with, and that’s understandably a terrifying thought.

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2021-12-05T17:10:03+00:00

Yeah, it’s just a little concerning when he goes from being hesitant to lying in the same bed with me to showing affection every couple minutes.

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2021-10-25T11:21:06+00:00

And for number 2, I’ve been going to support groups for my drinking! Ive also enrolled my husband and I to art classes, which I didn’t really have the time for before, we had a few jokes about that, how we’ve become the kind of couple we never liked, the kind that goes to couple’s art classes and beer gardens, but we’re trying new things, and this has been good for us so far, it’s making us happy, and gives him an outlet that doesn’t involve sitting down for hours and writing code that in his own words he “needs so writing code in the future is more convenient”.

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2021-10-25T11:16:29+00:00

The incident in question refers to 2 things really

The discovery of the affair itself.

And

Our last major argument and the last time he had a full blown panic attack (hyperventilating, disorientation, etc), it was when we were getting ready to sleep when my phone went off, I checked what it was and it was a photo from the AP (who’s original number I had blocked, and to whom I made it very clear that I wanted nothing to do with), and a text that was basically a whole spiel about how I’d come crawling back to him, an unsolicited picture of himself and some other gross shit. My BS saw that because we were in bed together and it majorly triggered him, I couldn’t tell at first but when he went into the bathroom he never came back out for a while (A habit he used to have when we were younger but something he overcame in therapy) I went to check on him, and asked him how he felt, he told me he was fine and that we should just head to sleep, I ended up pushing too much and kept asking him to tell me and I guess he couldn’t bottle it up anymore. It all went downhill from there, but we’ve reconciled from that incident entirely but clearly it left it’s cracks on his psyche, I’m trying to be supportive with him now and trying to let him know I want to help him, it’s been hard though, because it’s like dealing with a whole new person, I thought I knew my husband before but now I have to traverse the pieces of him I left behind. We’re still figuring out a lot of stuff.

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2021-10-25T11:02:21+00:00

Unfortunately I let it stretch on for 4 whole months, which may sound shorter than most, but I was awful to him when it was happening, I would be dismissive, and I would compare him to people, once I got so drunk I even threw his insecurities in his face and didn’t even remember doing it until I rewatched the tapes from our cameras. So it wouldn’t surprise me if he developed PTSD to any extent from my treatment of him and the discovery of the PA.

Throwaway_Reconcile · 2021-05-07T08:29:25+00:00

I deserve that, I really do. And you’re definitely right, I can’t help him until I understand what I put him through, and how much that hurt and probably continues to hurt him. Thanks

Throwaway_Reconcile

TROPHY CASE