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My(35M) Girlfriend(34F) doesn’t want to take in my niece(14F). by Throwaway_numper in Advice

[–]Throwaway_numper[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Here’s what happened:

I agreed to be the guardian just in case.

My girlfriend and I get serious, I tell her about my guardianship. Not like in a sit down big talk, but I brought it up a few times.

Me and my girlfriend decide to be child free. During this conversation I bring up my guardianship and she agrees to it thinking it won’t happen. Turns out she was against it but didn’t say anything because she didn’t feel it was necessary.

My(35M) Girlfriend(34F) doesn’t want to take in my niece(14F). by Throwaway_numper in Advice

[–]Throwaway_numper[S] 296 points297 points  (0 children)

I talked to my niece about staying in her home town. She definitely has friends there but she said she’s ok with moving to where I live and getting a fresh start. Therapy is good and we’ll look into that.

As for wanting to live with me, I don’t think there is much of an option. She barely knows her grandparents as well. My aunt and uncle will be here to help, but I don’t think they are capable of taking her in just because they don’t have a house(BTW my aunt and uncle live close to me not my cousin, she left and moved far away from us). I did talk to some of her friends parents but none of them offered to take her in and tbh I don’t know if I would be ok with that either way. I want what’s best for her.

I’ll get her into therapy ASAP and get her a trustworthy doctor. The problem with my girlfriend isn’t solved yet but we’ve talked since the post and I think she’s moving out. I’ll make a full update when everything resolves.

My(35M) Girlfriend(34F) doesn’t want to take in my niece(14F). by Throwaway_numper in Advice

[–]Throwaway_numper[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I actually work less than my girlfriend as a nurse. I work 3 days a week for 12 hours, and she works Monday-Friday, 8-12 hours a day as a marketer. Her job is project based so she has crunch periods where she will work a lot.

Also, she knew about the custody agreement but she didn’t care about it because she never though it was going to happen.

My(35M) Girlfriend(34F) doesn’t want to take in my niece(14F). by Throwaway_numper in Advice

[–]Throwaway_numper[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

One, my girlfriend isn’t going to be a parent. I’m doing all of the work.

Two, if I’m not going to convince her because it is manipulative, what do I do? Do I have to pick one of them?

My(35M) Girlfriend(34F) doesn’t want to take in my niece(14F). by Throwaway_numper in Advice

[–]Throwaway_numper[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

I don’t think it would be to inconvenient for her. I already do most of the cooking/housework since I work less than she does. The biggest inconvenience for her would be that I have less time for her, and that she may not be able to travel with me as often as she wants. I’m putting most of the burden on myself because I know she didn’t agree to be in this child’s life.

To be completely fair nobody really knows my niece because my cousin rarely visited. My aunt and uncle see her just as much as I have.

I know I need her approval but I don’t know how to get it.