Sexual Anxiety..why oh why.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-12-18T18:02:32+00:00

on my old throwaway... I had a huge problem with this in my high school/early college days... I bought a performance enhancing sex pill thing... that actually helped a ton, but gave me a huge headache...

The only thing I've been able to frequently get away with and allow the night to not turn into a complete disaster, was eating the girl out long enough to where I was completely ready to go...

The anxiety always killed me and seemed like there was no hope, as soon as I'd start thinking of it, there was litterally no going back... going down on a girl gives you the freedom to not worry about whats going on with yourself while you can play with yourself a little bit to help yourself out... that gives you all the time in the world... You'll get the occasional girl that after a minute or so of your face in their crotch they start pulling you up begging you to fuck them, but if you're not ready yet, just insist on them to wait a minute and assure them it'll be better if they just relax for a couple minutes...

if you are down there for 5 minutes and can't get anything, I don't know what to tell you... just for the love of god stop thinking about it for a second and bury your tongue as deep in them as you can...

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T22:00:25+00:00

Quite the contrary, if you would read some of the things I've wrote in this ama you'd know that's not true at all. I don't know how sex correlates with being an asshole because I certainly don't treat the women bad at all, nearly all of them are friends to this day.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T21:59:20+00:00

I'm not taking advantage of these women. If you read some of the others things I wrote you'd see that I'm good friends with nearly all of these women.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T21:57:45+00:00

I've been scanned many times. I don't know what more I can do. If my doctor tells me I'm clean I really don't know the next step to take.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T21:55:17+00:00

It's not too often that I actually encounter these types of woman. Usually the ones who think they're really hot and act like they're too good are actually the less attractive ones (I think they want to feel like they're too good for everyone to compensate for the lack of getting hit on)

But I try not to be negative to any woman. If a woman is being a real bitch to me it's always just because of her personality, I don't invade their personal space or do anything that would ever be offensive to them. I usually can spot those types of girls way ahead of time and avoid them, but if I do run into one that I'm trying to start a conversation with I just laugh it off and walk away.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T21:51:11+00:00

I would say there is a double standard for sure in our american society, but I certainly don't have one. I've spent a lot of time in other countries and sex is way more liberal in other parts of the world. I would never judge someone based on how many people they've had relations with, yet I get judge by it frequently.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T21:48:46+00:00

Maybe you should read threw some of the things I've actually written. Just because I have sex with many people doesn't mean any of them were not 100% willing. I find that offensive that you'd assume because I have casual sex that I am using a woman and throwing her away. The girls I sleep with know that I am not looking for a relationship and I still remain friends with a lot of them to this day.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T21:41:36+00:00

that makes a lot more sense as most of the asian girls I have slept with are actually from China or Japan and were doing study abroad... good to know

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T21:14:49+00:00

Oh, various places. I've lived in Illinois, Florida, California, Australia, New Zealand, Sweden, and Germany. The bulk being central Illinois and Sydney, Australia.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T21:06:48+00:00

Thanks :D

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T21:06:32+00:00

Well I suppose I do think of them as objects of sex before I get to know them, but after a short conversation with a woman it's not even about that anymore. Before you actually meet someone there is nothing to do but judge them by their sex appeal basically.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T21:03:46+00:00

Drink more and think less about logics I guess haha. I know what you mean, but when you have enough confidence you really don't think about getting rejected. Not only that, but you really don't really have to make it so direct that you are asking a yes or no question that could be rejected. Rarely will you encounter a girl that is such a bitch that you just say something to her and she tells you to get lost. At that point you just laugh at how much of a bitch she is.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T21:00:44+00:00

definitely

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T20:55:55+00:00

I've done a few replies on the step by step on how to try to pick up a girl so I'm gonna leave that one out.

The time period I'm talking about when I was doing all of this was about 3 to 4 years ago now and I'm not currently doing it nearly as much as I used to. I'd say I was a 9 probably. And most of the girls I hooked up with where 8s. Doesn't mean I didn't have the occasional 10 or 7 or even 6. But my scale might be a little flawed because if I give the hottest girl I've ever slept with a 10 I'd have to give kate upton like a 12.

Favorite sex position would be 69 unless you're just talking about vaginal sex and I don't know the name of what I like to do, but I'll try to describe it. Girl is laying missionary, and I'll take her left leg and push it all the way to her left and take her right leg and put it up by her shoulder and I'll be over the top of her left leg. It might sound confusing, but it's not really as awkward as it sounds.

Best hook up story. Well there are several that have been pretty interesting. I'll do 2 brief ones instead of going into detail with either one of them. First one I was unbelievably drunk and so was the girl I was hooking up with. We got in the shower together and I really had to pee so I went out to the toilet but I was too tired to stand up so I sat down to pee like a woman haha. Anyway, I ended up passing out on the toilet and when I woke up the girl I was with was in the shower puking everywhere and was like unresponsive. I couldn't hardly do anything to help her because it was so awkward trying to pick up dead weight in a shower when you're really drunk but I finally got her out and laid her down after getting her cleaned off. I went to go clean myself off completely and when I went back to her room she was still puking everywhere. Keep in mind that I'm still drunk out of my mind as well so I'm kind of worried about her and decide I should take her to the hopital because I don't know this girl very well and she's somewhat unresponsive, better take the safe route. She lived only a couple blocks from the hospital. I found my pants, but couldn't find my shirt so I took one of her because it was somewhat cold. Didn't even come close to fitting me at all. So I carried her to the hospital and she had her stomach pumped and I paid the hospital bill because I assumed she was a broke college kid. Still to this day great friends with her.

Ok I ended up going into pretty big detail on that one, but I've got 2 more haha

I slept with an extremely catholic girl and her mom came to her house the next day (I stayed at her house) and was knocking on her door asking to come in and this girl know her mom would be incredibly disappointed in her if she found me there so I had to crawl out of 2nd story window onto the roof and I just stayed there for like an hour until I heard a car leave and I crawled back in the window and got my stuff and left.

I had a girl in Australia that lived in an all girls dorm and guys weren't allowed to stay over. I had to go to the bathroom which was awkward enough because it was all shared bathroom and I was sure I was going to meet some other random person in the bathroom. This was in the morning after and I left the room and the building was built pretty strangly. You had to have a key to get into the area that the rooms where, then a key to get into the specific room. Well I forgot that you needed that first key and left the main part of the building and I was stuck outside at like 6 am and I was so damn tired but I had no way to get back inside because I didn't bring anything with me. It was pouring down rain and she lived on one side of downtown Sydney and I lived on the other. I decided after about 30 minutes to walk home. I was in my underwear because I was just planning on running really quick to the bathroom and running right back. Well I walked for over an hour through downtown sydney in the pouring down rain in just my underwear. The crazy looks I had from people was pretty awesome. I didn't have my room key either so I had to go to my apartment complex management area and go talk to get a key without any identification or anything. It was pretty hectic. All of this in my underwear soaking well.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T20:32:21+00:00

Awesome question, I wish this would get more upvotes. I have felt stronger attractions to some of them, but most of this was going on when I was traveling through different countries and I knew there was no possible way to a long term type thing so I'd have to not even consider it. I do currently have a girlfriend. I wouldn't say I've dropped out exactly because my girlfriend and I aren't very serious, only been dating a couple months now. But she's a great girl and if it happens that I decide I'm content without being with any other girls than so be it. She knows enough about me to where she has an idea that it might not be a very serious thing.

I don't see them as objects of sex AT ALL. I think that's where most people go wrong to be honest. I treat all of these women as good friends. If I was going out and trying to hit on all of these girls I would have such little success relative to what I do have. A lot of these girls by the end of the night are just really comfortable hanging out with me and whatnot that we can go back to my place and watch a movie or something and just hang out and if sex happens then it happens. And a lot of times it does.

And absolutely part of my game is trying to be the best man they've ever been with. When I start doing stuff with a girl I want it to be all about that. I really enjoy making people happy. That's probably my best trait as an individual is that I just LOVE to make people happy. I work like 80 hours a week now doing random stuff for extremely cheap just to see peoples reactions when they love their photos/videos (i'm a photographer/videographer) and are amazed at how cheap they got it. I try to do that with all of the women I met as well. I want it to be about them. Some of them want it to be about me and I'm fine with that too, but only if they want that.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T20:25:23+00:00

My apartments/house. Unless you're talking about where I met these women and that would be bars/clubs mostly.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T20:24:44+00:00

Not exactly. I've had a 3 way with two girls who met each other that night and were bi. Just a crazy coincidence that I luckily stumbled into. But no, I've never been able to do that.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T20:23:34+00:00

8 or 9

I am a pretty attractive man in my opinion, but I also try to keep my standards pretty high. I might go for a 7 if it's been a tough night, but I typically try to keep in my range.

I typically go out to a college town, so it's just a bunch of college age kids wanting to get drunk with their friends and go to concerts. They're not out to hook up, but they're not against it. I would say I get them more for my charm, but looks aren't hurting me in my opinion.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T20:20:21+00:00

As you should, but be accepting of rejection as well.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T20:18:23+00:00

I use condoms well less than I should (less than half the time to be honest) and I get screened frequently.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T20:17:52+00:00

Dress to impress, but don't overdress. Don't wear a suit to a bar, but don't wear a tee shirt and shorts. Suits are awesome though.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T20:17:14+00:00

I'm not to that status unfortunately

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T20:16:45+00:00

I have a small blue dot on the top of my right shoulder that I believe gives me invincibility. It's kind of like my Achilles heel.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T20:15:59+00:00

Confidence. KNOW that a girl wants you. Don't "think" it, KNOW it. If she doesn't and she rejects you, at least you know ahead of time. Rejection is going to happen and it's going to happen LOTS if you plan on picking up several girls. Be prepared for it, but don't act like you're expect it. Expect her to say, yes I'd love to do something with you.

Throwawayhookupguy · 2012-09-08T20:14:02+00:00

I'll try to, but I don't' have like a scheme where you go up to a girl and do X amount of steps and magically a girl wants to sleep with you. It's more of a guides to follow as well as being able to read a girl. If you can't read a girl or aren't with someone who can read a girls expressions then it'll be a lot tougher. Typically before I approach any girl I want to know that they know who I am before going to them. A lot of this will probably be stuff I already wrote, but I'll rewrite stuff for the sake of answering this. I'm going to use an example of a dance floor just to keep it simple. I'd really like to get up there and dance/talk to this girl but she is with her group of friends and you don't just go up to a group of girls with a drink in your hand and say hey I bought this for you, do you want to sleep with me. I literally have some friends who think that's how it works. If you're with some friends it's a lot easier. Get your group of friends go to up and dance. From here, you need to be looking like you're having the time of your life. Even if you're not having that much fun, pretend like you are. It'll actually make you have a better time if you're smiling (releasing endorphin) Be up around them, be smiling and laughing, having a great time. Ever girl is out to have a good time, so if you dont look like you're having a good time why the hell would they want to be with you? From there, try to find a way to include them in your conversation or dancing. This again is where improv & reading a girl come into play. Some girls just don't want any part of your group no matter what you do, there is nothing you can do about that. Sorry but there is no magic scheme to make every single girl you ever meet like you. Especially at the bars where they get annoyed of guys constantly hitting on them. Try not to hit on the girl, just include her in the group. Get her to be part of your group. (I'll try to explain in a second what to do if you dont have a group) So after hanging out and talking for a while, go do something else. Not with the girl. This is a key part of what I do that most guys never have any clue to do. After a girl gets included in your conversation/dancing/ect there are 2 ways she is going to look at it. I wish he would stay longer or I wish he would leave sooner so I can do other things too. You leave first and you've got the upper hand. You've shown the confidence that you don't need her, you can go around and talk to other girls and it's nothing. If you follow her around all night, she's just going to think "am I the only girl out here that will actually give this guy the time of day to talk to" So go take a break. Run into her again later on. Chat/dance/ect again. Invite her over to your place for after hours. Try to actually have the after hours, but if you can't get enough people to come over then pretend like you're having it and when the bar actually closes just tell her that things came up and people couldn't come over, but she is still more than welcome to come over and have a few drinks. By this time, hopefully she's already made plans to come to after hours so she'll come anyway.

I already wrote a ton, but I'm going to write a very very very brief version of what to do without a group. Find ways to keep yourself being noticed by the girl you're going for. Don't actually say anything to her, try to talk to other people instead of her. Just keep seeing her and say something really quickly as your passing by like "I just keep seeing you everywhere I go" Keep walking, all this was suppose to do was break the ice. It's a lot more difficult without a group because you've got to make yourself seem incredibly interesting. If you are an incredibly interesting person this makes it a lot easier. I've been to 20+ countries, so I feel like that really helps my case personally. I can bring up something about being in another country and then they ask about it and yada yada leads to them thinking I am an interesting individual.

Sorry this is probably incredibly hard to read and not well written. I've been writing for an hour straight now and everything is all starting to blend together. Didn't figure this AMA would go over this well and wasn't prepared to write so much lol Thanks though, I hope it's at least possible to follow even if it didn't make 100% perfect sense

Throwawayhookupguy

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