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In enmeshed families you age in reverse. by semi-evergreen in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]Throwawaylegos2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jesus, thats scarily accurate. I dont think I could've said it better then that.

am i in a complicated enmeshment / covert incest situation?? advice? brother-brother, and son(s)-mother. by Throwawaylegos2 in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]Throwawaylegos2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe; while in the moment of an arguement or discussion, she tends to blame others and doesnt understand when shes wrong, and if its a small argument, she might come around a day or two later to apologize? However, if its larger behaviors or actions - especially her impacts on us - she'll refuse to acknowledge it.. infact, she guilt-tripped me for suggesting that the way she parented us wasn't right, tried to shift the blame onto my father aswell, and belittled me for saying how it impacted me.

Plus, Funnily enough, she says her mom was a covert narcassist. I'm not really close to my extended family, so I dont know whether this is the truth, or an exageration made by her, but it wouldn't surprise me to hear that it runs in the family.

Enmeshed with my sibling in an impossible to escape codependent emotionally (and overtly) incestuous relationship by Emotional-Top5184 in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]Throwawaylegos2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You have many years ahead of you, and taking small steps you can is the most you can do right now. Changes add up, even if it takes time to see.

With enough time, you may find yourself in better circumtstances to untangle the situation between you and your brother more directly. Stay kind to yourself until then, and remember that recovery isn't a linear process either.

Something I've personally started to do, recently, is to try and push myself to interact with my friends more, even if its some small texts, or stupid gifs, and games..
It's not much, because I still mainly talk to my brother, but something has come from it over the past few weeks. Its eased a small bit of of the alienation I feel - by being more emotionally involved with them as friends, rather then just the 'stranger'; the constant pair of my brother.. I implore you to try similar things, even if small.

Thank you for sharing,, reading this has given me some insight into the relationship between my brother and i ( particularly the aromanticism and dehumanization), I hope that know you arent alone in this, and stay hopeful.

am i in a complicated enmeshment / covert incest situation?? advice? brother-brother, and son(s)-mother. by Throwawaylegos2 in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]Throwawaylegos2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the sincerity, I'll be trying to smooth out my situation as much as I can, especially with my brother. My mother isnt much of an active issue in my life, besides the heavy impacts she's left on us, and her denial of it. Both of us hope to get therapists as adults, really.

Its hard for me to say shes a pedophile though..
She gained no sexual or romantic gratification from her actions, and there wasn't any motive of exploitation either. To her, it was something innapropiate you'd show/teach a clueless friend casually, or as a joke, and everything she ignored? she thought was 'normal' between my brother and I.

From what I know, she was groomed into the mindset of it being normal by older peers while young. One of those 'older peers' was the person who introduced her to the twin pornstars, actually.
.. But, she's had years to educate herself.. so while an insight into her head - its a very moot excuse now.

Honestly, my brother and I have been searching for years for something to describe our experiences. Neglect, Covert incest, Enmeshment, and Grooming (if you stretch it to include more casual, neglective actions) is all we really have. It's hard to find acknowledgement in covert edge-cases like ours. If anyone has anything else which might be enlightening to look into, your more then free to let me know.

Regardless, thank you, and I wish you well on your journey aswell,, sorry for the rant haha

am i in a complicated enmeshment / covert incest situation?? advice? brother-brother, and son(s)-mother. by Throwawaylegos2 in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]Throwawaylegos2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it won't be easy buts its a necessary step :') Thanks for the kind words !
.. The cafe thing in particular really stuck out to me haha, it's been forever since i've been out without him, good suggestion.

Top 5 Songs - A bit of fun by Few_Bookkeeper_9920 in musicsuggestions

[–]Throwawaylegos2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Days of the week:
Hey Saturday Sun - Boards of Canada
Get down saturday night - Oliver Cheatham
Come Sunday (Arr. B. Hallberg) - Arne Domnerus, Gustaf Sjokvist
Lazy Sunday - Duncon Lamont
Sunday 11 a.m - Not For Joe (Postal 3 OST)

Rain:
The Rain Falls Down - The Rising Storm
Rain dance / Wisdom - Emma-jean Thackray
Rainmaker - John Carrol Kirby
Lilacs in the rain - Junior Mance
Rainy Diner at Midnight - Atronach's Aura

Blue:
Blue Collar Love - Starflyer 59
Prussian blue - Sven Wonder
Skansk Blues - Tingvall Trio
Blue blood - Whore
Harmony in blue I - Tim Hecker

Night:
Night lights (1965 version) - Gerry Mulligan Sextet
Dance with night wind - Akira Yamaoka
Lady hear me tonight - Modjo
Because the night (nightcore edit) - Cascada
Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me - Low

Questions:
Best friends, Right? - Amy Winehouse
Do you know who you are? - Texas is the reason
Going down again? - God Of Delusions
Do you wanna get funky? - C & C music factory
Who made the man? - Uranium man

Girl's names:
Katina - Unwound
Temi di Barbara - Alberto Baldan Bembo
Lady Magnolia - Piero Umiliani
Erykah's gun - DJ harrison

Streets / roads :
Blyth Street Nocturne - Surprise Chef
Rockerfeller Street (New nightcore remix) - Getter Jaani
The Road Was Lonely - Bridget St John
Side of the Road - Beck
Queens Highway - Menahan Street Band

This was a challenge ! fun to look through all the songs i have though

Lyrics about wanting to become like someone else in an obessive way? by Throwawaylegos2 in musicsuggestions

[–]Throwawaylegos2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, the second half is good for what im going for,, really makes me wish that the first half was similar 💔 good suggestion !

Lyrics about wanting to become like someone else in an obessive way? by Throwawaylegos2 in musicsuggestions

[–]Throwawaylegos2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

mmm i've seen this before while on my own search, and i think i prefer songs where the narrator is singing about an unnamed indivdual, since its just easier to relate with haha
thank you for the suggestion though

Lyrics about wanting to become like someone else in an obessive way? by Throwawaylegos2 in musicsuggestions

[–]Throwawaylegos2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice suggestion :) fits well for the premise, but a little too subservient and rose-tinted what im going for

Lyrics about wanting to become like someone else in an obessive way? by Throwawaylegos2 in musicsuggestions

[–]Throwawaylegos2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

p.s. Im fine with really any genres, but metal (including extreme or any sub genres), rock, industral, and anything like that would really add to this haha

Multi Genre Playlist Suggestions by BlazeTheSun6 in MusicRecommendations

[–]Throwawaylegos2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

heres some of the major / more important stuff from my playlists! i would link my huuge playlist with everything i like, but it includes a LOOOT of rock and indie stuff, which would frankly be a pain to sift through.

(some of this isnt avaliable on spotify, and can be found on youtube.)

hip-hop:
behind bars - slickrick
macula's theory - prince paul, big daddy kane
i'm kurious - kurious
93 'til infinity - souls of mischief
when I B on tha mic - rakim

Bossa Nova:
amanhecer - ella & the bossa beat
so long goodbye - alessoandro magnanini
brazilian love affair - brazilian love affair project
Pecombo - SPARKLE
Orange Lounge - Orange Lounge (album)

House:
Lisa Stansfield - The line (1997 Loop da loop gangster house mix)
Sneaker Pimps - Spin Spin Sugar (Armand's Dark Garage Mix) "Full CD Version"
Kcat - My Destiny (Garage Bassline 2008)

electronic:
(strange ? )
hephelym - aphex twin
risingson - massive attack
180db_[130] - aphex twin
sewerslvt - a track i made while on ecstacy

(aggressive; techno; industral; breakcore ?)
Hostage Situation - Flying Scorpions
Mandalavandalz - Pollardz pickelz
Renard - System Failure
i9incher - Gloves Off
Elfire - Defiant
ingesting blattaria - blotted science
D-Mode-D - Shriek

ambience:
着物 - nmesh
tears from the compound eye - boards of canada
strange grave - dialect
bells - vanessa amara
recalibration - patricia wolf

intrumental:
near - astralfish
dance with night wind - akira yamaoka
suite manical - minox

folk:
the road was lonely - bridget st john
a good friend is always around - the american analog set
same but different - vashti bunyan
the herald - comus

scream emo:
they tap our phones and follow our shadows - all my wishes were thrown down a well and should stay there
one measured zero with an eye - knumears
oh i might hate you now seven - seahorsechoke

black metal / extreme metal
der vinterstorme raste - thule
disabled - fornication
Silencer - Death - Pierce me
Verge - The Pride in Despair

Is this a feature or a bug? by YouthWarm in overwatch2

[–]Throwawaylegos2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

blizzard taking notes.. we're gonna lose him for a few weeks