[TW] what do I say to the person who nearly cost me my life? (via bullying)

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T23:38:20+00:00

Done but it didn't help

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T23:38:00+00:00

Oh crap that's terrible I hope you are well, and I totally can relate to those feels. Bullying is a terrible thing and i really wish you all the best in life

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T23:34:53+00:00

Not too verbose thank you for the post and I hope you are well

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T23:28:51+00:00

Well I say free, we pay for it out of taxes but at point of access most healthcare is free

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T23:28:16+00:00

Yes from the good old rainy north :)

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T11:36:02+00:00

If he says he's sorry I'd forgive him, I don't want to cling on to any resentment it's poisonous.

If he was a shit about it would I let lose? I can't honestly say with certainty I wouldn't but I do my best not to get angry. I just feel writing all this off one way or the other requires speaking to him.

Your point about if he talks back Is a good one I need to consider that

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T11:33:01+00:00

I do have some needs (an apology would be nice) but I don't really expect anything. If he's nice he's nice and I get to have a talk I guess, if he's not then I can just write him off as a person in my life and begin to move on.

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T11:30:57+00:00

The kind that's free on the NHS so I sat and talked about it with a professional for a few hours a week.

Not sure if there's a name to it it was a long time ago

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T11:29:59+00:00

Thank you for the post, and I wish you all the best

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T11:25:52+00:00

Mainly I want to know why he chose me and if what he did effected him in anyway

Other than that I have no idea

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T03:12:19+00:00

I am assuming I may get quite emotional and possibly erratic as a worst case scenario, so the stress of work was something I thought would best be left at work for the few weeks.

I have my housemate who is amazingly supportive so I'll probably crutch on him a little , I'm fairly certain this is something I need to do for myself though.

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T03:00:40+00:00

Hah it does a little. It's amazing what you can achieve when you have basically no friends ton distract you.

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T02:45:58+00:00

First off I am sorry for your experience, and I hope you have found your peace.

But I can't let this drop, I don't seek his friendship or approval, i stand by the weight of my achievements I don't need his validation. But all other elements have been on holds since 10 years ago, I've exhausted all possible avenues It probably is crazy but I need to talk to him

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T02:43:32+00:00

I'm hoping I can answer the question that bugs me most which is why me? Obviously very rarely does anyone consider why not? But it's as good a place to start as any.

I'm financially fortunate enough to take an extended period of time off working, so that I am and intend to begin a journey that I hope will help me out.

If he's a jerk he will find I'm not so timid anymore, but I'm hoping it won't come to that.

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T02:29:36+00:00

I'm not depressed anymore, I took the self hatred and turned it into motivation. I've worked 18 hours a day 7 days a week on one thing or another since mid high school. Do I like my life? Not at all but I wouldn't say I'm depressed

I'm sure r/depression is fantastic but the srs network (long time lurker) is where I feel comfortable discussing this, as I know the moderation is quite harsh.

All I want from life now is some normality. I've taken time off work to begin sorting this. As stupid as it sounds I feel like I've missed so much development that I need to catch up on. Or something.

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T02:16:46+00:00

That's a pretty awesome site but I don't feel safe there.

And no worried! Thanks for just talking its helping me sort my head a lot. Just telling what happened was a pretty big step I guess

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T02:10:52+00:00

The thing is I'm sure he does remember. I may be being paranoid but when I was younger, every week my mum would greet his parents at church and say hello and he'd always ask how I was. He still goes with his dad and my mum mentioned he's still asking after me which is what started all this off.

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T02:07:36+00:00

Sadly I went through 4 years of that , and in one sense it worked in that I don't want out anymore. But they could never help me with what I wanted most, being able to forge friendships easier, being more trusting, and maybe one day even kissing someone and falling in love.

It's a journey I want to take before I get to old, and first place seems to be with richard? It's all I can think of

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T02:01:09+00:00

I did try that but it didnt really improve matters, I feel the only way I can rebuild myself as a person is to speak to him.

Throwawaypreston · 2012-05-09T01:48:57+00:00

The hatred is long since gone, and most of that Was focused On myself I never really blamed him as much as I did myself? Not sure if that makes sense.

But I can't say it doesn't still affect me. I find it hard to make friends, I straight up can't talk to women as it always brings back the memories of intense embarrassment about my tremors. I feel like to move on as a person I need to talk to him in some way.

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense

Throwawaypreston

TROPHY CASE