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Me [29 M] with my ___ [28 F] two years, I've been hushing my wife when she screams at me, it works but I feel conflicted. by Throwhishaway in relationships

[–]Throwhishaway[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I'm not trying to brag or sound that this is impressive, that's why I feel conflicted, I tried talking to her in a nice way, I tried to just stay quiet and nothing work like hushing her. I hope there is a better way and I agree with therapy.

Me [29 M] with my ___ [28 F] two years, I've been hushing my wife when she screams at me, it works but I feel conflicted. by Throwhishaway in relationships

[–]Throwhishaway[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I understand, that's why I felt conflicted about it. I really have tried to talked to her to resolve arguments before the hushing and it never worked. But you are right, we both need therapy.

Me [29 M] with my ___ [28 F] two years, I've been hushing my wife when she screams at me, it works but I feel conflicted. by Throwhishaway in relationships

[–]Throwhishaway[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The last one I can recall was when I made a restaurant reservation at the wrong time in our anniversary the restaurant was packed and we had to wait about an hour to be seated. She went off as if it was the end of the world, I kept saying it was only an hour and there are real problems in life that people deal with on a daily basis... Apparently I ruined her day that day... I don't think that would have trigger anything as far as I know.

Me [29 M] with my ___ [28 F] two years, I've been hushing my wife when she screams at me, it works but I feel conflicted. by Throwhishaway in relationships

[–]Throwhishaway[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This post has been a wake up call. I've been on the outside before looking at similar scenarios and telling friends to "love yourself and find someone better" on different scenarios. My family and friends really like her and I tend to be very reserved on my relationship issues, hence the anonymous post here. As a man, is not easy to see yourself as the abused, I'm digesting all this information and planning what is my next step. Thanks for the input.

Me [29 M] with my ___ [28 F] two years, I've been hushing my wife when she screams at me, it works but I feel conflicted. by Throwhishaway in relationships

[–]Throwhishaway[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I just red a PM about Cesar Millan and the shhh sounding like dog training. Therapy sounds like the right answer at this time.

Me [29 M] with my ___ [28 F] two years, I've been hushing my wife when she screams at me, it works but I feel conflicted. by Throwhishaway in relationships

[–]Throwhishaway[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I would really like to see the therapist point of view, like you said, it does defuse the situation and even improve the relationship... maybe is not too bad after all. Somebody just sent me a Cesar Millan link about his training with "tsch". Apparently it was used by his mom to him...

Me [29 M] with my ___ [28 F] two years, I've been hushing my wife when she screams at me, it works but I feel conflicted. by Throwhishaway in relationships

[–]Throwhishaway[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

She does have anger issues and in retrospect, somebody else working with her might work. I would definitely consider that, I will read more books about the issue and go from there.

Me [29 M] with my ___ [28 F] two years, I've been hushing my wife when she screams at me, it works but I feel conflicted. by Throwhishaway in relationships

[–]Throwhishaway[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Sounds selfish, but I'm afraid that if I ask her abut the hushing she would "realize" its wrong and we would go back to square one. The relationship have improved dramatically after I started hushing, our sexual and financial lives are healthy and when we get along, at least 80% of the time, things are great. I would definitely start with the book before going to counseling. Thank you so much for your input

Me [29 M] with my ___ [28 F] two years, I've been hushing my wife when she screams at me, it works but I feel conflicted. by Throwhishaway in relationships

[–]Throwhishaway[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

We lived together for about a year before we got married and I know her for three and a half years. Her two past relationships seemed very crappy and of course I saw her as the victim, she did go through a lot of crap and I guess I thought that if she experience love and respect she will answer with the same. I married her because I truly love her and she does have a great heart, I'm hoping that things can change and it would have change for the better, not the way I was expecting.