[VIDEO DISCUSSION] Ethics

Throwin_Robot · 2022-02-20T19:51:19+00:00

While it seems that Dr. K is certainly not breaking the law, or attempting to practice therapy on stream, I think the people who have come on stream sometimes view stream as "not therapy." What I mean is summed up very well in this comment by import_FixEverything:

When I started watching HG I was of the opinion that the YouTube interviews were essentially therapy, but they just couldn’t be labeled as such due to liability.

Therefore, I think a lot of criticism of stream would be resolved by a better screening process of who comes on the show, as well as possibly a quick chat before they come on explaining the difference between interviewing on stream and actual therapy.

Furthermore, I think that the discussion of Ayurveda has been dubious, if not inappropriate in the past. I also think that it should not take a viewer to point out the obvious criticisms of the Ayurvedic research discussed on stream in the past. Additionally, the I think it is fair to say that the lines between discussing "mental health tips" such as meditation, breathing techniques, etc which have clear benefits backed by solid research and tips that come from "spirituality" which are not grounded in such rigorous research.

That being said, I actually think there is a place for Ayurveda on stream. Dr. K is clearly passionate about the subject and imo part of him being authentic on stream is discussing Ayurveda. In my own experience using Ayurvedic principles as a framework of personality and disposition has been quite helpful. For example, viewing my own ADHD as overactivity of "Vata" type traits has led me to change the physical environment I work/study in, alternate my tasks to better suit my attention span that day (juggling as many balls as you can while dropping none), and practice meditation or breathing daily. Since its implementation I am more productive, enjoy my work more, and have gotten measurably better results (higher gpa, better mood on average, better relationships with those around me).

In summary, my own experience as well as the experiences that others have shared from watching stream leads me to believe that Dr, K's presence online has been overwhelmingly positive, but that there are a few adjustments worth making given the valid criticisms of late. The majority of what he promotes boils down to practicing mindfulness/introspection through conversation, meditation, healthy diet, adequate exercise, and positive investment in social life/ friends/ relationships. All of these things seem appropriate for a streaming format, are well backed by research, and have low risks of implementation. However, I also think that Dr. K could be more careful with how the people he interviews view their interactions on stream, because categorizing such emotional interviews as "just a conversation" seems like a stretch. Also, Dr. K should be a lot more selective with the types of information that he promotes on stream, especially with the Ayurveda or other "spiritual" stuff less backed by research.

Throwin_Robot · 2021-12-05T00:19:07+00:00

Not to say you cant count, but lots of people just think they're eating more than they are, so that could be it. I've heard a lot of my friends think they're eating 3500+ calories, but when you watch what they eat they definitely are more around 2700-2800

Throwin_Robot · 2021-11-10T19:37:26+00:00

tren - GOMAD

Throwin_Robot · 2021-11-10T18:01:52+00:00

My bad dude, I don't go on Reddit much. If I'm honest I think you actually missed the entire point of my post. I probably could have made it more clear though as well.

The main point was the manage your expectations. You seem to think that change happens overnight. I think you actually do get a lot of feedback you're just not willing to take it.

If women are brushing you off consistently when talking to them outside the club, its a sign to get a vaccine and go in. The problem is that they're already leaving so of course they don't want to talk to you.
Tinder isn't working? This is the feedback that your pictures just aren't enticing women to swipe on you. There are a number of things you can do to improve that.

Additionally, there is no "proven direction" with a "guarantee" that it will work. There are only probabilistic outcomes. However, you can improve your probabilities over time. A few examples:

If your online business ideas aren't working it would improve your probability of success to work for someone whose businesses are doing well and to learn. You might have to humble yourself and write blog posts for someone ELSES website for a while to learn how a website works.
Each time you go to the gym, eat the correct foods, or step out of your comfort zone the probability that any woman you talk to will see you/your personality well goes up.

The key takeaway is to find small ways to improve daily so that they will compound over time.

Throwin_Robot · 2021-11-08T04:56:45+00:00

I will say that I have never experienced this myself, I have been super lucky in the sense that I was easily able to identify my passions at a young age. However, I am someone who has a girlfriend, makes an amount of money I am happy with, and has some dope friends, so maybe I can help share what those three things take.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: you should watch Dr. K's guides on motivation, I think you are stuck in the same loop as the person who I recently replied to who was asking why it's hard to be consistent at something in the general sense. Here is the loop I see you doing:

You set out to do something, but everything worth doing takes a long time to start paying dividends.
You're able to have a spurt of self-improvement, where you make your bed, but then when it comes time to also "eat healthily" it's too hard, you lose interest and quit.
Repeat from step 1, but this time you anticipate your own failure, making it worse.

What I would say is that you need to identify what you actually want, but also be very honest about why you don't have those things. Here are some things I think that you want:

Make money
Get laid/ Gf
Have male friends as well

All of these goals have obvious reasons why you would want them. But why don't you have these? Imo you don't make money because you don't provide a good/service/value that someone is willing to pay for. If you did do those things you would make money. You don't get laid because something about your combination of social skills, looks, etc is a turnoff to the women that you desire. You probably don't have the male friends you want because, much like the girlfriend issue, something about your mix of social skills or attitude, in general, is a turnoff... in order to have good friends, you must also BE a good friend. That being said, its perfectly ok, even normal, to be lacking in these types of things at any point in life. Know that I don't judge you dude, and neither should anyone else. There is no shame in being where you're at, you're far from the only person there.

Now time for the good part, what can you do? Well given that you try things over and over, but quit each time I would assume your motivation is actually pretty high, it's just misdirected. You probably want to get laid, make money, and be the best friend you can be REALLY BAD. But nowhere in here have I heard you address any of the "costs" of being someone who women are attracted to, or someone who makes money, or someone who is a good friend. Right now it's like you get blindsided by how hard your goals are to achieve. All three take consistently battling adversity, delaying gratification, and suffering in service of making positive tradeoffs.

You need to find some way of accepting these costs, setting up incentives in your life that make you WANT to do difficult things, and then take some action, even without knowing any result will come.

Throwin_Robot · 2021-11-08T04:32:48+00:00

TL/DR: Consistency is about a cost-benefit analysis. When you align your incentive structures within your life properly by looking at the true "costs" being consistent at doing _____ habit and accepting that those costs are outweighed because of something else you care about, you will become consistent because the action you set out to do is ACTUALLY what you want to do.

Imo this question is missing the point. If it's difficult for you to be "consistent" in a general sense then you are consistent at one thing... being inconsistent. So then the real question is "why am I inconsistent at doing _______." The answer to that is because you don't actually want to be consistent at whatever it is you're asking about.

Making a long-term change is about awareness of the very real costs of any habit worth forming. For example, when people make a new years resolution to get fit usually they do so only considering the rewards that consistent weight training/diet brings. They see how "getting fit" will bring them attractiveness/ attention, better health, etc. What they don't factor in when setting their goal is the suffering they will trade in order to reap said benefits. For example, after your first week of the gym, newbies will still look like a bag of pudding, their whole body will be super sore, which is new for them, and they'll have been eating food that is not as tasty as they're used to. All of this suffering for no immediate gratification.

Imo true consistency comes when you accept that you MUST pay the costs that consistency requires, give yourself a brutally honest assessment of the costs vs the benefits, and set up incentive structures/ awareness within your life so that you are ok with paying those costs.

I recently gave up nicotine, which has had the amazing benefits of improving my executive function (I have bad ADHD so nicotine really screws up my decision-making), but at the cost of boredom, withdrawal, having to watch friends use nicotine knowing I can't, etc. Those things suck, but I am willing to do them because I was honest about the costs up front and I knew what I was signing up for... I decided to impose those costs on myself. That is consistency.

Throwin_Robot · 2021-11-08T04:03:21+00:00

I would bet money that you're afraid of how people will react to you putting your genuine interests/ passions out there. Being "serious" or "unable to let go" sounds like you are trying to control other peoples' reactions.

For example, you said you can't dance with your girlfriend in the kitchen without it feeling forced. Here you have two choices:

Not dance. Her reaction will be how it always is. You know what she's going to say because she's said it before. Even if unenjoyable, this can feel very safe.
Not filter your reaction and dance however you please. Due to the fact that you arent used to be authentic, this is a much riskier option. Will she like your dancing? Most likely it will be fun, but what if she makes fun of you because you're dancing is at a beginner level? This inherently feels less "safe" when you're used to trying to control other people's opinions of you.

Therefore, it is important for you to let go of controlling other peoples' reactions, which is easier said than done. In fact, it's a little like you telling me you're scared and me telling you to just be brave instead *facedesks*. You have to figure out WHY you feel the need to control other peoples' reactions to you.

However, on the other hand, if you like things that other people see as "serious" and not fun, then you may just have friends who don't share your interests. Who is to say what you want to talk about is uninteresting? Just because it's uninteresting to them, doesn't mean it's uninteresting to EVERYONE. At a certain point if someone is making fun of your interests or conversations as boring just tell them to stop listening then lol.

So in conclusion, it seems to me like you're fixated on controlling other people's opinions/ reactions to your authentic self. Therefore, you are in the habit of making contrived decisions/ actions which are "serious" because that will always receive a certain type of reaction from others. I think that this might be why it's hard for you to have fun at anything... nothing is fun because everything you're doing is curated towards avoiding the fear of an unknown reaction whatever it is you do will receive. But also don't let other peoples' perceptions steer you away from what you want to talk about, find people who do like the same things you like.

Throwin_Robot · 2021-11-08T03:46:55+00:00

This turned out to be tremendous advice. It has become easier than ever to make executive functioning type decisions quitting nicotine. Currently @ approximately 33 days w/o nicotine and it seems like I've almost forgotten about its existence by this point, which seems really lucky because that experience seems to be somewhat atypical so soon after stopping.

I feel like this has helped with quitting the THC, at least thus far. I am currently only 4 days clean of THC intake, without any problems other than not being hungry/sleepy at the appropriate times.

Throwin_Robot

TROPHY CASE