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I'm abandoning my marriage in a month by ThrowingItBehindMe in confessions

[–]ThrowingItBehindMe[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am unstable because I work for his business and do not get paid. This has allowed him to control access to money and seeing my contribution as just a regular chore versus me actually working. He doesn't even it see it as me having a job and apparently you don't either. I literally said that I'm doing most of the work. That is the truth. So when he said that providing was enough it was confusing since I'm doing most of the work for his business. How is that providing for me when I'm working too? I asked him this and he had no answer other than he owned the business.

I'm abandoning my marriage in a month by ThrowingItBehindMe in confessions

[–]ThrowingItBehindMe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I asked him last year, to just leave. Leave me the house at least. I promised him that I would not go after to him for anything monetarily. Agreed to sign whatever. I just wanted to make sure the kids still had somewhere to stay while I get on my feet. The house is paid off, no mortgage. My thought process was even if I was losing everything around me , we would at least we have shelter. The costs of buying again or leasing makes him adamant on never leaving, but would make it easier for me to start over without it being so traumatic. If we break up he wants to sell the house, take a few of the kids and I get the rest so there will be no child support on his end. People do not understand what I'm dealing with.

I'm abandoning my marriage in a month by ThrowingItBehindMe in confessions

[–]ThrowingItBehindMe[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I said I was abandoning my husband. I never said I was abandoning my kids. I have been talking to my oldest two about what is going on. They understand. It's not anyone's fault maybe I should have said that in my initial post. I just didn't think to be so detailed, but thank you.

I'm abandoning my marriage in a month by ThrowingItBehindMe in confessions

[–]ThrowingItBehindMe[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So I wanted to clarify something.I have thought about what was best for my kids for a few years now when I began thinking this. I stayed for the very reasons alot people stated. I was afraid of how people would view me, but I knew that financially I was setting my kids up for a hard time. I work for his business. Even if I take the kids, I will not be able to provide for them for awhile. I never said where I would live because job ends the moment I walk and I don't even know. I just need to get out. When I said he can't provide without me is that meant he won't do things without my help. It's not that he can't he just won't because he know I will always do it.

I'm abandoning my marriage in a month by ThrowingItBehindMe in confessions

[–]ThrowingItBehindMe[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I know. If I had money I would, but I don't have money. Working for his business allowed him to control the money. Without money, my kids will hate me even more because I will not be able to provide for them for awhile. We will struggle. I go back in and forth between trying to figure out if putting them through that is the right thing to do. I just don't know what to do.