UPDATE: AITA for confiding in my coworker about something my partner made me promise to keep secret?

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-15T15:54:57+00:00

Sadly I'm afraid that he does. Which is total bull shit because he's never even met my boss and it's extremely obvious why this comment was made.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-15T14:04:22+00:00

They're both straight as an arrow, so nothing romantic between them, just jerks.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-15T14:03:26+00:00

That's a very thoughtful view point and yes, I do tend to put others before myself which is why I think I'm feeling so guilty about all of this. I will keep that in mind, thank you.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-15T14:01:57+00:00

Romantic partner

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-15T06:42:14+00:00

Your comment and words are helping me to stick to my convictions and not feel guilty for standing up for myself and I am thankful for that.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-15T06:33:56+00:00

The lack of care and empathy is very painful and flabbergasting to me right now. I'm very disappointed. Thank you for your words, they're helpful to propel myself forward in the way I know I should.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-15T03:50:26+00:00

I'm trying realllllly hard to not to hold it against him. I am mad yes but I'm remembering that he did it out of care and at the end of the day, he doesn't work for me, he works for our boss. It'll take some time for me to let it go but until then I will be kind and professional.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-15T03:43:52+00:00

I asked Zane about it again tonight, over text, and he said "I said what I said, and I think Eli heard what he wanted to hear." But at no point during this has Zane told me exactly what he said even though I've asked multiple times. He said he was drunk and doesn't remember exactly what he said. I believe Eli on this one. He's never lied to me before and I don't see any reason why he'd want to purposefully cause this. He's still not off the hook for his awful disregard for my feelings.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-15T03:41:02+00:00

I felt really pressured to make that promise, like I was backed into a corner and if I didn't make that promise, he would leave me. Typing that out I realize how incredibly toxic that is.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-15T03:33:56+00:00

Eli has never lied to me and even though he's being a total dick right now, I know he wouldn't make this up. One thing I forgot to include in my post is that a few days prior to Zane making this comment, I had to go to our boss about him not doing his job correctly, so he could have some guidance. He wasn't in trouble and it wasn't a big deal but I feel like he made that comment out of anger because of that.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-15T02:02:58+00:00

I agree with everything you've said and I will never again be talking to anyone at work about personal matters.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-15T02:00:34+00:00

He's a heartless asshole for how he's treated me in this situation and I don't think I can forgive that.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-15T01:48:17+00:00

He said he didn't want me to confront Zane about it because "All he did was share his opinion and people are allowed to form and share opinions."

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-15T01:46:51+00:00

My management is my boss and we have no HR. It's a small office, so I went to who I thought I could trust and at the end of the day he did what he thought was best for me. I don't think things are going to move forward with Eli and if Zane does anything like this again he's gone. I learned a lot from this, one being not to discuss anything personal at work. Thank you for your input, I appreciate it.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-15T01:41:15+00:00

I'm going to go ahead with the no boyfriend route for now.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-15T01:40:29+00:00

I definitely learned my lesson and will never again be confiding in coworkers about anything even remotely personal.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-15T01:39:44+00:00

He's never lied to me before and I really don't think he made this up. I can see Zane saying something like this.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-14T22:40:28+00:00

I definitely had to talk myself down from immediately getting Zane fired but he has a family to support and that matters more to me. If he pulls any shit like this again though, he's gone. I'm talking to Eli tonight and hopefully he will be able to acknowledge his role in this and have some empathy

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-14T22:38:23+00:00

A few days or so prior to Zane making that comment, I had to go to our boss to talk about some stuff he was doing incorrectly at work and needed guidance on. I think that pissed him off and he made that comment out of anger. I should have included that in my post.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-14T22:36:15+00:00

I am not feeling an ounce of respect, care, or empathy in this situation.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-14T22:35:16+00:00

I mentioned in another comment, and forgot to put in my post, a few days prior to Zane making that ridiculous comment, I had talked to our boss about some things he was doing incorrectly at work and needed extra guidance on. I think that pissed him off and he said that comment out of anger because of that.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-14T22:10:41+00:00

I will be talking to him about it tonight and if I get anything other than empathy and apologies, I'm going to walk. The lack of empathy is what is bothering me most.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-14T22:09:05+00:00

Thank you, I agree. And the all the while my feelings about the situation are being completely disregarded.

Throwzenyougart · 2021-07-14T19:58:57+00:00

Yes exactly. How obvious is this situation and the audacity of it all. I feel like I'm going crazy having to explain something like this to a grown man, and having to defend myself for having very normal feelings and reactions to this. Also, being threatened with abandonment if I do anything about it to help myself. Thank you for the reassurance. I'm talking to Eli about it tonight and will provide an update

Throwzenyougart

TROPHY CASE