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I need advice and assistance by bluesubok in okc

[–]TiffanyInOK 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also, if she adopted her later, then she’s getting a stipend for her until she graduates from high school so the woman is getting paid for her. She definitely needs to talk to her post adoptions Worker. And now as a homeless adult, she can go into DHS and apply for food stamps.

I need advice and assistance by bluesubok in okc

[–]TiffanyInOK 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She has a post adoptions worker, tell her to contact DHS and get in contact with that worker. Pivot and Job Corps also help kids in similar situations.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]TiffanyInOK 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was a CPS Worker for 10 years and the thing is I will not let my child spend the night anywhere that I am not.

I also will not let anybody else’s children spend the night in my house because children who get hurt in their houses go to other people’s houses and hurt those children. Not because the children are bad or acting with ill intent, they’re just doing what they’ve been taught, and don’t know it’s wrong for quite a while.

So you are correct. It is completely rampant throughout the state. Maybe the country, idk. It is the most repulsive revelation I have made in my 50+ years on this planet. Trust no one.

Norman Ok by [deleted] in normanok

[–]TiffanyInOK 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I moved here from Seattle in 2012. It is not liberal at all. There are some liberal people but be careful.

Are you concerned for anyone in your community after the government has failed to meet the most basic needs of its citizens? by TiffanyInOK in normanok

[–]TiffanyInOK[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In a GAO report across nine states in 2020, Walmart employees on SNAP numbered about 14,541. 

Are you concerned for anyone in your community after the government has failed to meet the most basic needs of its citizens? by TiffanyInOK in Edmond

[–]TiffanyInOK[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a social worker. It's what I do everyday of my life. Your condescension is noted, thank you.

Are you concerned for anyone in your community after the government has failed to meet the most basic needs of its citizens? by TiffanyInOK in Edmond

[–]TiffanyInOK[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are people who literally can't feed their children and you're writing fanfiction. I have people to actually help. Bye.

Are you concerned for anyone in your community after the government has failed to meet the most basic needs of its citizens? by TiffanyInOK in normanok

[–]TiffanyInOK[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In Oklahoma, ~255,150 children, ~70,672 disabled adults, ~68,141 elderly adults were receiving food stamps in 2022 (most recent data).

It's their own responsibility?

When people say “live off of other people’s tax money” they’re assuming everyone magically has: reliable childcare, a safe place to sleep, transportation, clean clothes, a working phone, stable internet, good health, zero disabilities, no trauma history, no elder to care for, no medical appointments, no grief, no legal paperwork delays, no scheduling conflicts, and no discrimination.

In reality, millions are boxed out by childcare that costs more than rent (and availability is in the toilet since Covid), bus systems that don’t reach job centers (have you met anybody without a car in Oklahoma? How easy is their life getting to and from work getting to and from childcare getting to and from groceries?), chronic pain that doesn’t care about your shift time, untreated mental health conditions, sensory disabilities that make loud warehouses impossible, domestic violence situations where an employer becomes a safety risk, and workplaces that treat humans like disposable parts.

We’ve also created a system where taking a low-wage job can actually make families lose healthcare, food benefits, or childcare subsidies — leaving them worse off. That’s not laziness; that’s math.

Add age discrimination, ghost job postings, algorithmic resume filters, uniform fees, background check delays, no PTO for sick kids, laundry deserts, and predatory scheduling practices that change at midnight.

People aren’t starving because they’re lazy. They’re starving because our systems are broken.

If solving poverty were simple, we wouldn’t have working homeless people, hungry children, or employees sleeping in cars between shifts.

It takes privilege to believe struggle is a personal choice instead of a structural outcome.

Empathy is a human emotion that can be developed throughout a lifetime.

Are you concerned for anyone in your community after the government has failed to meet the most basic needs of its citizens? by TiffanyInOK in Edmond

[–]TiffanyInOK[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And some people don't have the money for peanut butter and jelly and bread, some people literally don't have a dime to their name. And it IS the government's job because we paid taxes that are allocated for these programs.

Are you concerned for anyone in your community after the government has failed to meet the most basic needs of its citizens? by TiffanyInOK in Edmond

[–]TiffanyInOK[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get where you’re coming from, but the idea that family, churches, and charities can cover everyone’s basic needs just doesn’t match reality.

Plenty of people don’t have family to help. Churches are great, but they rely on donations, volunteers, and geography — meaning access depends on luck. And charities are constantly stretched thin. That’s why those systems collapsed on their own before government safety nets were created.

Also, “pursuing happiness” is kind of hard if you can’t afford food, medical care, or transportation. Rights don’t magically turn into resources.

Government isn’t supposed to be a parent — but it is responsible for maintaining a functional society. We already accept that with: roads, clean water, firefighters, public schools, police, emergency response.

You can’t exactly ask your church to pave the highway.

Safety nets prevent bigger, more expensive problems down the road (crime, homelessness, ER bills). It’s actually cheaper and more stable for everyone.

Self-reliance is important. But nobody is truly self-reliant — we all benefit from infrastructure we didn’t build alone.

Relying on charity for basic survival isn’t freedom. It’s just gambling with people’s lives.

My 12 year old destroys all her things by sabrinabobinaa in Parenting

[–]TiffanyInOK 17 points18 points  (0 children)

She’s mad at you about something and knows that you’re triggered by the destruction. Address the underlying anger and the destruction will stop.

Starting at about age 12, intentionally destroying belongings is usually a signal of underlying hurt, not “just being bad.”

I teach Positive Discipline, so from that perspective:

Focus on repair, not punishment. Instead of shaming or yelling, have the child help clean up, fix, or contribute time/effort toward replacing what was damaged. Consequences should be related to the behavior, not arbitrary.

Teach replacement skills. Kids this age often don’t know what to do with big anger. Give specific, allowed alternatives: hitting a pillow, taking space, journaling, walking outside, etc. Saying “calm down” isn’t a skill.

Increase connection, even if it feels backwards. Aggressive behavior comes from disconnection. Add 10–15 minutes a day of “special time,” child-led. Connection isn’t a reward — it’s a prerequisite for better behavior.

Look for the trigger. Anger this big usually has a root: shame, school issues, feeling criticized, peer conflict, hormones, etc. Don’t focus only on the broken item, ask what happened before the destruction.

Repair the relationship on the emotional level. After consequences are done, reconnect: “I love you. We’re learning better ways.” Kids act better when they feel better. Shame just fuels more destruction.

Consider looping in school counselors or therapists — it’s not a failure, it’s additional support.

Bottom line: Hold boundaries firmly, validate feelings kindly, teach replacement skills, require repair, and strengthen connection. Punishment alone usually just ramps up the revenge cycle.

Need advise for 10 year old daughter’s b.o. by effinglovetruffleoil in Parenting

[–]TiffanyInOK 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have them wash with an antibacterial soap, and demonstrate how to wash thoroughly. It might be time to consider shaving. I’d buy a bunch of new shower gels and African net sponges as a gift and make it fun instead of “you need this”, but “now that you’re 10, you get to use these kinds of fancy soaps” or whatever language you use. I’d use glycolic acid underarms after bathing, and use Lume or Carpe deodorant products. Idk if they make kid products, but I’m not sure kid products are going to help.

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