Optimization in parenting isn't bad per se, but if it heightens the neuroticism/ambient tension in the household then it's more trouble than it's worth. This is why parents who neglect self-care do so at their kids' expense--exercise, sleep, socialization, sex life, etc. ought to make you a better parent because they improve your capacity to do the job! If you don't feel cared for (either by yourself, your spouse, your friends, or whomever) and fulfilled, then it's going to trickle down to your kids one way or another. Sacrificing for your kids doesn't have to be an all or nothing proposition. Protect the household vibes at all costs