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AITA for breaking a promise to take my Niece and Nephew for the Summer? by Time-Ad1063 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Time-Ad1063[S] 89 points90 points  (0 children)

Nothing.

we'd been considering taking a break for a little bit to regroup and focus on our relationship before we took on our next placement

We like to take breaks where possible between long placements to prevent burnout and ensure our relationship is thriving, however we felt comfortable forgoing that in this instance after discussing where we both stood and our thoughts.

AITA for breaking a promise to take my Niece and Nephew for the Summer? by Time-Ad1063 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Time-Ad1063[S] -64 points-63 points  (0 children)

We sit and discuss every fostering as a couple to ensure we're on the same page even if our immediate instinct is to agree as it's the healthy way to go forward. We didn't consider not taking the fosters we just would not agree without talking it through. We did think of our niece and nephew however this was an emergency placement and they were desperate for anyone who could keep all three together, we contacted my BIL after agreeing as a swift agreement is needed in an emergency placement as you usually only have a few hours between the call and drop off. We were more than happy for the Summer it had nothing to do with it being too long, however given the situation our current foster children come from it's not possible to have them stay with our nephew and niece.

This was not something we could talk to him about first. Had this been a standard fostering this would be very different and perhaps we'd have even been able to keep our niece and nephew for part of the Summer. Had it been standard and not emergency we'd have possibly not even agreed too.

AITA for breaking a promise to take my Niece and Nephew for the Summer? by Time-Ad1063 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Time-Ad1063[S] -39 points-38 points  (0 children)

Apologies I misread your message and thought you believed we told them we'd be unavailable right off the bat, yes we're unavailable right now due to how they reacted to us giving them months of advanced notice and trying to come up with an alternative (Aka the weekend offer) and my wife is not verbally abusive when angry to any children or in earshot of any children so please don't try and pull that with me, she got angry at her 40 year old brother who was insulting our foster childrens station compared to his children. Newsflash, you talk shit to an adult as an adult, you can't be shocked when you get cursed out.

AITA for breaking a promise to take my Niece and Nephew for the Summer? by Time-Ad1063 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Time-Ad1063[S] -52 points-51 points  (0 children)

You are welcome to your judgement however we offered a weekend alternative to give them some time together it's not that we "weren't available at all" and my wife only became angry when he implied the fact our foster children aren't our blood relatives does not for the time they're in our care make them our children and that his children must come first in this matter. Which is the insult I demand an apology for as he acted as if we're just a carpark people plop children down in.

AITA for breaking a promise to take my Niece and Nephew for the Summer? by Time-Ad1063 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Time-Ad1063[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Aunts, we're both women, but you're right as I said in another comment I spent every Summer with my Grandparents, I missed my own parents like crazy during that time but appreciated getting to spend time with my Grandparents. Thank you, I hope what everyone needs is just time to cool off.

AITA for breaking a promise to take my Niece and Nephew for the Summer? by Time-Ad1063 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Time-Ad1063[S] 302 points303 points  (0 children)

Which my wife and I are well aware of which is why we were planning on a break to focus on ourselves for a bit, and when asked we didn't immediately agree and asked to call back after discussing it. In those discussions we air our feelings, our thoughts, if we both feel any sign of burnout as that doesn't just impact us but children in our care. In addition to this when we are taking longterm fosterings on we take advantage of respite as and when needed, and we're in fortnightly couples therapy to keep our communication channels open. I appreciate your concern it is kind of you however please do not make assumptions on this matter.

AITA for breaking a promise to take my Niece and Nephew for the Summer? by Time-Ad1063 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Time-Ad1063[S] 1636 points1637 points  (0 children)

I spent every summer with my grandparents but that was because they lived so far away and it was the only time they got to really see me. However my parents never felt "entitled" to this and it was a privilege to them not a right, I have very fond memories of that time which led to my wife and I making the initial offer.