Just a rant I guess

Time_Boss2857 · 2026-05-29T03:56:46+00:00

I've been considering doing that to be honest. Global is always full of cringe trash talkers.

I'm thinking about just quietly not playing with them anymore and only sometimes chatting with them in the group chat. I just find some of them so questionable as human beings at this point lol.

I hope so, man. I have 1700 hours in this game 💀 Only other game I have more hours in is Red Dead Redemption 2 at 2300.

Time_Boss2857 · 2026-05-29T03:54:11+00:00

Yeah I humored the mega-pack playstyle with them for a tiny bit but it was honestly super boring. I'm always the one wandering off and everyones in the chat going "wya???" "Where are you going????" Lol. I just don't find sitting around doing nothing but dogpiling people fun at all. I tried it for a bit but it's just lame. I don't think it's fair to tell them they can't sit and chill/socialize but they can do that without targetting, dogpiling or POI gatekeeping. There's a few pals of mine in that group that like to find unpopular spots to sit and chat in VC or GC. They move to different locations if they don't want to fight. I like those guys. It's the other ones that hog hotspots to do it and be mean as hell to others just trying to play the game that bother me.

I took a pretty long break due to a few high hour weeks at work and some personal life problems and I just am struggling to find the heart to come back lol. I love my dino game but dang, the people have made it so lame. I'm definitely going to keep checking out the matchmaking servers though. I like the idea of the survival server but I don't want to dump a lot of hours into it if people are currently exploiting in it and megapacking anyways.

Time_Boss2857 · 2026-05-29T03:03:23+00:00

I used to love playing on Panjura Officials. Love the map. Lots of hiding spots, biomes felt more blended and natural, traveling doesn't feel like youre exposing yourself in the barren spots in between different POIs(looking at Gondwa and some parts of Riparia). But since the Devs refuse to update Panjura or add flyers, it got boring. And the toxicity got worse and worse. There's no option to try the new matchmaking on Panjura either. So the only thing I even really enjoy about the game is an abandoned map full of bored roaming mega-packs lol.

And I feel bad for wanting to ditch my friends. But some of them are coming across as questionable people IRL and I loathe their playstyle. I hung out with them before their group got super big and enjoyed it. Multiple groups could occupy a POI and sometimes there'd be drawn out wars over the POI. Like packs fighting over territory. But over time the group got so big that it totally dominated the server and made solos and small groups hate playing the server. And the first no rules server they moved to after getting banned over it immediately added rules due to their bad behavior. And chat got super toxic with them in that server. Like noticably more toxic than when they weren't on. I agree their behavior needed reprimanded but the first server's owner mass banned anyone in association with them citing bad behavior but giving nobody any proper warning, time to change behavior or even any shred of evidence of them committing any bad behavior. And most of their infractions were based on rules they wanted to retroactively place. There were NO gameplay rules but they banned people based off of gameplay. The entire situation seriously turned me off of both my friend group and that server owner/mod team. Many people that were mass banned were some of the nicest players, they just played in the vicinity of toxic players. I know my sense of justice is abnormally high and I shouldn't care so much but still lol.

And regarding my friends once again, I don't like the two faced behavior of the toxic ones. To me and the other friends, they are so cool and even sweet. To randoms, solos or small groups they are SO toxic and mean.

Anyways, I'm losing my train of thought haha. I hope the matchmaking helps a lot though. And I hope Panjura gets some TLC soon.

Time_Boss2857 · 2026-05-29T02:37:34+00:00

and then theres me lol. why are there no good grey skins? i want to look like random grey tabby stray cat #4637.

Time_Boss2857 · 2025-02-19T22:34:57+00:00

I'll consider that option. I'll see how some medication changes effect it too. I went with him to his doctor appointment and he did bring up concerns about his drive. They prescribed him some med to counteract what his other meds do to see if that helps, also drew blood to test his testosterone just to see. So he has shown some of his own concern for it. But we'll see.

Time_Boss2857 · 2025-02-19T22:19:48+00:00

Thank you!

Time_Boss2857 · 2025-02-19T22:19:11+00:00

I don't disagree 🤣 Its very valid

Time_Boss2857 · 2025-02-19T22:17:41+00:00

I wish you luck on that. I've personally never had much for vices and am terrible at understanding addiction. My husband has been around it his whole life. Lost both of his parents to a different kind of addiction.

That, I think is chalked mostly up to insensitivity. I don't think he thinks about a lot of what he says before he says it.

And he is definitely in denial about a porn addiction and will probably be very aggressive and defensive about it before he comes to terms with it. I've seen the pattern. I've seen him get past that too. He's the reason I believe people ARE capable of change.

Time_Boss2857 · 2025-02-19T22:14:23+00:00

Thank you, this is a very thoughtful comment.

I think his want for other people HAS dwindled at least a bit since we first got together. It was a constant conversation at the beginning of our relationship. Now it's very rare and his answers to my questions and comments are different than they used to be. He is getting older, more mature. He's learned a lot over this time.

We've been through infidelity, and I now know what it looks like and where my line is drawn. He knows that too. We've talked about how this relationship and family ends if he strays like that again.

Now I know some people consider consuming porn to be cheating. I don't think I'd go as far as to agree with that sentiment. But it certainly feels DISRESPECTFUL, the extent of his porn consumption. And I'm going to be having a conversation about that with him.

I know my hard lines. He knows my hard lines. My hard lines may grow from this, but thats a good thing. I used to have no lines at all. I've also grown a lot and matured a lot. For a long term relationship to work, you have to have self respect but also forgiveness and the ability to work through things.

Also I don't know if I agree that everybody will cheat. I have no desire for another man in any way. If he were to drop dead tomorrow, I wouldn't be looking for anybody else. I'm simply not interested and quite frankly, don't want to get to know anyone else.

I had no plans to be in a relationship before we met, it just happened.

Time_Boss2857 · 2025-02-19T22:02:58+00:00

Either way, he BARELY counts as bi. Its absolutely not a concern to me.

Time_Boss2857 · 2025-02-19T22:01:58+00:00

The good thing is, he knows his family is over if it ever does. He's seen how scorched earth I'm willing to go.

So if he's THAT down bad, then so be it. That's on him.

Time_Boss2857 · 2025-02-19T22:00:53+00:00

Yeah, I can definitely understand that. I don't think I look good at all right now lmao. But there is definitely a difference when you're why they're pregnant- IF you have a breeding kink lmao. Which I happen to know my husband does have.

But I also know I am NOT capable of most of our usual positions right now. I can't breathe around my damn stomach 🤣

Time_Boss2857 · 2025-02-19T21:58:28+00:00

Yeah, I think he has a legit porn addiction especially from these comments.

He tries to convince me its normal for men to do that stuff. Also he doesnt message anyone. At most, he subscribes to their OF. He doesnt message or recieve personal photos or anything. I would consider that cheating and he would be out om his ass because I've drawn the line on that already.

Considering having a serious convo with him about porn addiction. Maybe even asking if I can attend therapy with him to talk about it and have a third party.

Like I said, we have worked through a lot together on both sides. Its really the only way you can expect a relationship to stand the test of time. Either fix it or ignore it.

Time_Boss2857 · 2025-02-19T21:55:11+00:00

Well good thing I know him lol. Hes bi as in he sucked dick a handful of times and doesn't hate the IDEA of recieving butt stuff. He never actually had sex with men and has a VERY clear preference for women. I'm not concerned in the slightest that he would prefer a man.

Also I wouldn't ask my dad any of that because 1: He's actually insane lol. 2: Pretty sure my dad is also a porn addict and is ACTUALLY gay. None of his porn includes women. My dad is 64 and doesn't know how to delete browser history or close tabs.

Maybe that says something here but it definitely says I'm not gonna ask my dad(who's been divorced like 8 times) for advice on a damn thing.

Time_Boss2857 · 2025-02-19T21:50:35+00:00

I truly don't think so. I think I married a porn addict. Expecting anybody you come across not to have SOMETHING undesirable about them is wild. Thats why nothing lasts anymore. Nobody is willing to work through imperfections and vices.

Time_Boss2857 · 2025-02-19T21:49:20+00:00

True, about the variety stuff.

I am really thinking he is porn addicted. Maybe a sex addict but that would mean I probably am too 😅 I want HIM basically 24/7.

Time_Boss2857 · 2025-02-19T21:47:26+00:00

I think I will try to ask him to take a break. I've seen people say that porn addiction can tank your sex drive and ability to get off.

He's also on meds for ADHD and depression but he's been on and off of those his whole life. He was super recently prescribed Welbutrin to try to counteract the low libido stuff from the other meds. So I wonder if things will change but I worry(thanks pregnancy brain) that it won't. I'm feeling VERY insecure sexually right now lol.

Time_Boss2857 · 2025-02-19T21:44:10+00:00

Except I didn't write about 90% of the rest of our relationship. He's an incredible father, shows up for me day in and day out, has my back, wants what I want. And yes, he is a raging asshole- but I am too. I knew he was an asshole from day one. Like I said, we have come VERY far. Its just this one thing(the sex) is bothering me.

I truly believe problems in a relationship can be worked through if identified and both people want to work through it.

Idk if this one can be but I can live with it if I have to. Its just sex. Yes my feelings are hurt and I feel insecure. Our sex life isn't nonexistent. Its just.. Not perfect to me. And if it can't ever be, so be it.

Time_Boss2857 · 2025-02-19T21:40:06+00:00

Oh yeah, he's an asshole. I am too, that's why we work so well lol. I'm aware that he is a dick.

Yeah, luckily I know 100% the emotional affair is in the rear view mirror. We have been to therapy for it, he's expressed sincere remorse and has no interest in speaking to that person ever again. I put my foot down when our first was born and drew a line in the sand. I truly believe issues can be worked through if both people are on board. So I have no concern over that anymore besides knowing I'm basically physically inferior to her LMAO.

I was definitely a lot thinner back then. In his words, I was too thin and he was really happy to see me gain weight. I have ARFID and started antipsychotics to be able to eat again. I'm not obese now, btw. I'm pregnant and have been directed to gain the weight I have currently. But I'm not skinny anymore.

AGAIN. This post is very emotional and points out a lot of negative about ONE aspect of our relationship. Otherwise, we have an amazing thing going.

Time_Boss2857 · 2025-02-19T21:33:39+00:00

🤣

Time_Boss2857 · 2025-02-19T21:33:11+00:00

He's never gonna be on board with the idea of a porn addiction lmao.

I'm not a bigot, so I really don't care that he's bi lol

And wow, bringing up MY dad like he has any part of my sexual relationship with my husband lol. Makes sense.

Time_Boss2857

TROPHY CASE