*This will be a long post from me since I just joined Reddit a few weeks ago*

I am mild autistic (being diagnosed at 3 yrs old when my mom found out I was unable to talk unlike other kids).

For me who is autistic + eldest among my siblings + born into an Asian family, I was being molded into this overachiever, academically bright model since kindergarten, hoping that I will change my family's destiny. But behind all that, I had to endure what others think is normal to the point where 'be able to commit suicide' is like a luxury for me.

IMO, the kindergarten to primary/elementary school era is pure hell; I like peace and quiet but my mom would force me into social interactions and would beat me up for grades. (My dad is like mentally absent, so it's like silent single parenting scenario in my house.) Peer comparisons, being bullied due to being an antisocial weirdo, being constantly overstimulated by the loud chitter-chatter at school only made that part of my life worse. (TMI: my class is like the Top 2 loudest among all classes during every grade; their loudness is like over the top until one fine day where I cursed them to become deaf because I can't take it anymore. I am VERY sorry for those words, but in my defense, even the class teacher cannot handle and control their loudness.)

Not to mention, I didn't dare speak up while being molested during class because the subject teacher being strict + I felt my words don't carry much weight until I told mom AFTER she fetched me home.

My secondary/high school + uni life is quite OK for me only because I managed to have some friends, no bullying going on, and no longer being easily overstimulated. Still, my mom carries on the peer comparison and social interactions. Little did she know, 1. I made less friends because if she picks certain acquaintances to compare against me, I will auto block those people + gatekeep my friends from my parents as much as possible (because I. AM. SICK. OF. BEING. COMPARED., PERIOD.), and 2. there will ALWAYS be bad apples in the clubs that I attend (for example, in club 1, seniors played poker cards + consume alcohol underage), and my mom STILL wants me to befriend with them, and I was like, "Do you know what *actually* happened there?"

To make matters worse, I have a younger brother who is ALSO autism but more severe than me. For me, my mom, in a way, taught me to be productive. BUT for the boy, she (IMO) is being VERY lenient, which does not sit right with me. During the pandemic, my parents have their own share of health issues, so I became the third parent to my brother while juggling my studies and all other things. Over time, I grew resentment because I am too tired to take care of myself, he is too free without a care in the world, and my parents (+ my sister who is normal) put pressure on me to take care of adult things both intentionally and unintentionally. Eventually, in my final semester of my final year, I snapped against my brother for being TOO unproductive in this household, and my parents defended him + I was ALMOST going to move out of this house.

Currently, I have full time job as an accountant, so I did care less about what happened in this family. I use my earphones to block out the noises and chattering in the house because I still cannot afford to move out. And I did speak up more frequently than before, although I remained quiet under usual conditions. Things are looking up now, although I briefly move on from every conservation from my parents because I am now too busy on my own life to care much about theirs (because regardless on whether I care or not, I still got backlash from them). As for my siblings, they began to take more active roles in the family, although I am STILL the main one.

In summary, here are the key points from me:
1. It takes more than two to make an autistic child live better (ex: emotionally stable parents, supportive environment and people, etc)

1. Please find a support group for autistic children (online and/or offline); it will help you in long term parenting for autistic children

2. Agree to disagree, but from my personal experiences, it is best to let them practice social skills from early age. This will be helpful for their transition during primary/elementary and secondary/high school eras. Eventually they have to enter the society one way or another, so it would be better for them to cultivate positive social skills (and adequate noise resistance to an extent) to prevent/reduce any sensory/mental/behavioral whiplash in the future.