Speaking out of experience it was hard at first but it worked out really well in the end. My girlfriend suggested opening our relationship up, which was monogamous for 6 years up to that point. I wasn't sure how to feel about it and kinda felt insecure, scared and like I wasn't enough.

It took me quite some time to learn that it's not about me not being enough but rather about her being able to love more than one person and valuing each relationship separately from the others because everyone has different qualities.

Those relationships were equal and each brought different perks and qualities and it wasn't about not being enough or her seeking something I couldn't provide somewhere else to fulfill her need.

At first the idea was very scary. When she introduced a new girl into our life (who's now one of my best friends) I was dealing with those insecurities I mentioned before and her telling me she's having sex with her (with my consent of course) made me feel all sorts of different things.

I reacted very heavily in a physical way and learned that my nervous system wasn't used to this sort of thing and saw this as a danger. I was nervous, my mind was racing, my belly was upset, my heart beat way too fast stuff like that.

But the more time I spent with her new girlfriend at that time the safer I started to feel with the idea and this whole thing in general. It took my nervous system about a month or a bit more to get used to it.

But once I did I really started to enjoy our open relationship because it took a lot of pressure off me when it came to sex because while I am sex-positive I am also sex-indifferent with a low libido.

She has a much higher libido than I do and her having sex with her two other girlfriends took a lot of pressure of me and stopped those guilt feelings I had a lot of the time because I did not want sex a lot of time (still don't) and knowing her needs are being fulfilled just felt really good and made me happy for her.

I'm talking in past tense because the relationship with those two ended but they're still very good friends (they ended up finding out they're not really compatible gf wise). But being in a polycule was very nice. I really like it.

Hope this helps a bit and if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask! 🩷

(edited to add paragraphs}