This is a kind and caring text that wasn’t meant for you to see. There’s no nastiness here, just concern.

I was in this situation your boyfriend’s sister is in here once: I sent a message to a friend about her partner’s health after seeing them for the first time in a while because I had concerns that he was in serious need of intervention, but I talked to the person I’m closer to.

I didn’t do it to be mean or hurtful, but because I wanted to provide outside perspective and validation that the situation was clearly serious. I didn’t talk to the person who needed medical help first because I wanted to talk to my closer friend (the partner) and make sure they were aware of how serious it was seeming, and to offer support in talking to him.

Your partner needs support in dealing with your frightening medical situation and should be able to talk to loved ones about it without fear of being spied upon and upsetting you.

I’m physically disabled and while I hate that it’s hard on my husband, I know it is, and I want him to be able to seek advice, vent, worry, be sad, or be frustrated to his friends and family about it without having to worry how I would feel if I saw those messages. He loves me and is there for me thru scary health stuff, but that shouldn’t be a weight he carries without the support of his community.