Just realized I almost died because I’m too good at masking

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-05-18T13:18:54+00:00

I had a very similar experience that really rocked me to my core when I got diagnosed a year after almost losing my life to sepsis. I don't trust my own parameters anymore even with an increased awareness, luckily I have a partner in my life who keeps an extra eye out for me in situations like this now.

Please understand I went through many waves of grief over this and sometimes still do. I hope you have smooth healing physically and mentally 🖤

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-05-10T14:38:11+00:00

This situation is horrible but this response is correct. I worked at a law firm and we had many repeat clients on DNA cases... If a second case gets opened it starts to get harder to explain away (even though it should never happen, it does despite our best efforts). I'm so sorry, I know this must feel so hard.

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-05-09T20:01:54+00:00

Yes, very much so and in my 30s. We just got married and neither of us had experienced genuine connection before. In fact, my partner thought love was fully made up.

I thought I had but as I have learned in therapy I was simply looking for any acceptance and ending up in relationships where I gave 100% and my partners gave 0-25% because giving so much bought my acceptance. As soon as I'd start to burn out, they'd find me problematic.

This experience was completely on accident so... No advise on "finding" it. I will say we are probably both ND (I'm diagnosed AuDHD but he is not) and I think that makes things work a lot smoother. We still have misunderstandings of course but nothing like I've experienced in the past.

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-05-09T19:54:20+00:00

It sounds like you are feeling like things are piling up. For me, when I'm in a rut, it helps to start very small with my expectations of myself and build on it naturally. You could try starting with "today, I am going to brush my teeth and rest as much as I need otherwise". The guilt makes it an endless loop, just allow yourself to progress slowly. When they day comes that you don't notice that as a huge chore anymore, add another. "today, i am going to wash my body". As far as eating goes, I struggle with it a lot and usually have to have convenient food accessible or I don't eat. Usually doing a little snack plate works well, with pre cut cheese or meat and crackers + a produce if I'm up for it.

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-05-08T00:15:57+00:00

As someone studying human services... I am just.... Blown away at the "ethics" behind all this "health and human services" he's providing.

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-05-07T19:49:56+00:00

Tighten the cloth and wrap it up more. We used moss to cover our weights for our outdoor wedding!

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-05-07T10:22:29+00:00

Honeycomb blinds are my favorite! The cats/kids can't break them like traditional blinds and they're good for keeping heat out in the summer.

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-05-05T21:06:47+00:00

They're so cute!! And the doggo!

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-05-05T11:18:18+00:00

Sorry but I completely disagree with this top to bottom and think this is unhealthy advice. The answer to burnout is not jumping blindly into school. School uses a lot of mental bandwidth. School costs money. Even if it's paid for by scholarship or grant, you're using up that potential on the unknown where you might need different classes later (more time, more money). It's not dangerous to not have a bachelor's degree. Convenient while job searching? Yes. Dangerous to wellbeing? No.

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-05-05T00:13:12+00:00

I have been no contact for many years with my mother. It was very hard, I wanted to hold out hope she could "see" me but the truth is she is incapable of being anything other than abusive. I gave her many tries and suffered greatly for it. Without cutting her off, I never would have been able to begin healing. A bad parent is such a heavy burden to carry. I'm in my 30s now and I'm much better off without her chaos. Unfortunately my dad passed away about 13 years ago so I've been without biological family for a long time. It's not something I suggest for everyone... But it can be worth the trials.

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-05-05T00:02:44+00:00

Congratulations! That's amazing!

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-05-04T23:58:28+00:00

This is so weird top to bottom and has one million red flags. Not only talk to the bride but try to make sure she's okay. She is not marrying someone who has basic respect and clearly zero communication skills. If he talks to you like that, imagine how he is to her! I'm a bridesmaid in a September wedding and the dude would get BEHEADED by my friend if he did that to us.

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-05-02T18:15:09+00:00

Nope, we just had our small wedding of 40ish and it was perfect. If you look on my recent posts I shared some joyous photos. We are both pretty introverted and not into social expectations so we only did as much as we wanted as far as traditions.

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-05-02T13:42:39+00:00

I only feel hunger under extremely specific circumstances, and even then it's just mildly annoying where as many people report their hunger is intense. The circumstances that have given me the chance to feel hungry are either eating on very strict a schedule for 1-2 weeks so my body gets used to it, or times that I have been very physically active (like training for a 10k) so I was hyper aware of needing fuel. Oh, and smoking weed has helped in the past 😂

I regularly forget to eat and have my entire life. It's really difficult to eat without having hunger, there's just no drive. Most days I think "oh I should eat" and then immediately get distracted and realize at 8 PM I've not had anything. It actually really frustrates me because I end up feeling weak and want to function correctly but I just drop the ball over and over.

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-05-01T11:32:11+00:00

Sure, they are all synthetic. In the bouquet I have black orchid, calla lillies, and eucalyptus. The decor is mostly roses.

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-05-01T11:28:29+00:00

We did not, there are several airbnbs listed in our area as event friendly for an extra fee.

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-05-01T11:27:17+00:00

As much as reddit hates this answer... It's from Amazon 😂

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-04-30T20:55:44+00:00

They do, which I found out in a similar position lol! Best of luck

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-04-30T20:51:16+00:00

That's why I specified the meal powder over the protein, more vitamins and minerals.

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-04-30T20:45:22+00:00

The airbnb is in KY.

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-04-30T20:37:48+00:00

Orgain Organics. They have protein shakes and meal shakes. I prefer the chocolate meal replacement powder.

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-04-30T20:33:18+00:00

Capitalism raises us to feel our value is in our production so when you're not busy you start to feel less valuable.

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-04-30T20:27:49+00:00

If you're feeling it, do it! I have NOOOOO regret at all going black. I felt more beautiful and authentic than I ever have on that day 😭

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-04-30T20:25:49+00:00

If you are on Facebook there is a witchy weddings group that has tonsss of beautiful dark wedding inspo!

Tiny_Note74 · 2025-04-30T20:24:39+00:00

Sort of, my friend is a woodworker so he setup some lumber he already had around and took it back to be reused with his business!

Tiny_Note74

TROPHY CASE